


Cura te ipsum

by LadyZephyr



Series: First Do No Harm [2]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Clones In Space, F/F, First Do No Harm, Sequel, scifi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 64,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4166070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyZephyr/pseuds/LadyZephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Sequel to First Do No Harm.  Delphine finds herself unexpectedly surrounded by Cosima's family and a resistance force that does not trust her intentions she must navigate this new world very carefully. Whose side is she really on? And more importantly, where do Cosima's allegiances lie? And what does this resistance force really want from them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Everything runs together in her head, from her first entry into the large but cozy yurt, to being offered a seat at the table, and a meal. It’s a blur of questions and responses. It’s not that they’re speaking English... it’s that they seem to have their own code of half-said truths and looks in her direction.

Delphine looks around the yurt, it has a sleeping loft, as well as a bedroom, and bathroom. The rest of the yurt appears to be open concept, with varied furniture and mismatched chairs. A few toys litter the yurt, small signs that a child makes this their home. A large wooden table is flanked by a long bench on each side, and two single chairs at the end. Kira carefully carries platters to the table as Delphine looks on, still dazed.

“We have stew, but I hope you like sweet potatoes.” Kira comments cheerfully, sticking a platter covered in roasted orange vegetables in front of Delphine.

Delphine tries not to bite her lip, or fidget on the bench next to Cosima, but the way Sarah has been looking at them makes her feel incredibly uneasy. Cosima begins serving the stew, as if she’s completely comfortable here, as if her heart isn’t pounding as fiercely as Delphine’s. Inside her womb, her child flutters in response. She suppresses the instinct to smooth a hand over her belly, not wanting to draw additional attention to it. Not while Cosima’s sister is staring her down.

“Don’t worry, I cooked.” Cal comments jokingly, as Sarah slaps his arm and shoots him a glare.  
   
“This isn’t a time to be funny, Cal.” Sarah grits her teeth, “We have real problems now, what if they were followed here?”

“Eat.” Cal advises them, “This could take a while.” 

Sarah rolls her eyes and tugs Cal out of range of their ears, fighting quietly on the far side of the yurt.

“So...when are you going to have your baby?” Kira addresses Delphine from across the table, glancing down at her belly.

Cosima jumps in to answer for her, “Not til the spring, monkey.” Kira nods in response, spooning stew into her mouth. 

“Auntie Cosima?” Kira plays with her food with her spoon, “When you disappeared we had to move.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” Cosima regards her niece affectionately, Delphine notes this contentedly.

Kira shakes her head, “I’m not, now I get to live with my mom and my dad.”

“They didn’t...?” Delphine looks at Sarah and Cal, locked in a quiet argument on the other side of the yurt.

“No.” Kira answered simply, “I lived with my mom. Last time I saw my dad, I was three - we came for seven months. Mommy, Uncle Felix, and Auntie Cosima took me here.”

Delphine looks quizzically at Cosima, before addressing Kira again, “How old are you now Kira?”

“I’m eight.” Kira looks over, “Is this baby going to be my cousin?”

The question remains unanswered as Sarah returns to the table, Kira taking her mother’s silent signal to cease her questions immediately. There’s so much she doesn’t know. About Cosima. About her family. About this...resistance? What were they really? What would be expected of her?

“I don’t know you, and I don’t trust you... but for now? You can stay here with Cosima, in the guest house.” Sarah looks her over. 

“Okay, now let’s eat. The rest can wait until morning.” Cal states decisively.

Sarah sits reluctantly, eyes glaring at her from across the table. Nothing seems to soothe Sarah not the touch of Cal’s hand to her arm, not Cosima’s smiling laughter or Kira’s dinner time antics.

“So what happened after I left?” Cosima addresses Sarah, but is careful to keep one hand possessively on Delphine.

“Well, within three days I took Kira out of there.” Sarah pauses to help herself to a liberal portion of sweet potatoes, “And Felix followed us a few days later.”

“And?” Cosima gestures towards her sister.

“We had Scott kidnapped.” Kira answers between spoonfuls of stew.

“What?” Cosima exclaims, “Why?”

Sarah looks at her daughter in exasperation, “We didn’t know what happened to you Cos, we had to do something. So S...”

“S had someone kidnap him,” Cosima buries her face in her palm, “But he wouldn’t know anything, Sarah... Where is he now?”

“Here.” Cal answers directly, “No not here, but in the city. He’s getting used to his new life.”

“As an unwilling member of the resistance?” Cosima snorts slightly, releasing Delphine’s hand.

“Not unwilling, just... involuntary.” Cal corrects looking to Sarah.

“Yeah, he’s done well. I promise.” Sarah nods, “We’ve taken care of him.”

“Anything else?” Cosima prompts, but no one will answer her with Delphine sitting beside her.  
 The rest of dinner passes quietly, until finally it is time to go.

“Guest house?” Cosima looks to Cal immediately after dinner, “I think we all need sleep before anything else happens here.”

“Right. Cal, you take them. Come on monkey, time for your bath,” Sarah holds out a hand to Kira to lead her from the room.

“Sarah?” Cosima looks to her sister again, it’s eerie how much like...family they seem.

“We’ll take you to the city in the morning,” Sarah advises, “Your girlfriend can go to the maternity clinic, and you can talk to S.”

“I need to get scanned, do they have the resources here?” Cosima eyes Sarah cautiously.

“Shite... you’re sick, right. Oh... we’ll do that too then.” Sarah turns again to Kira, “Bath time let’s go. Auntie Cosima needs sleep, and so do we. Hours in the car tomorrow...” Sarah shuffles her daughter back towards the bathroom.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” Cosima nods, looking nervously from Delphine to her sister.

**  
They’re led in the dark to the smaller yurt, it’s not so far from the main house but just enough for some privacy. They watch Cal fumble with the keys for a few moments before swinging the door open.

“So the guest house, it’s small - but... yeah.” Cal gestures towards the smaller yurt, “Own kitchen, own bathroom, loft bed...”

“It’ll be great.” Cosima nods, gripping Delphine’s hand firmly again. What is Cosima trying to communicate? Should she speak? Remain silent?

Delphine merely nods, looking at Cosima. How is this going to work? She wonders as she’s guided into the guest house.

“Do you remember how to get the wood stove going?” Cal asks, before beginning the task himself, “Never mind, I’ll get it. Go sleep.”

Delphine puts her bags down, running fingers nervously through her hair watching Cosima make her way up the stairs.

“Let’s get some sleep, okay?” Cosima seems to anticipate her question.

“They hate me.” Delphine says. They don’t trust her, they probably never will, she muses silently. Why did Cosima bring her here in the first place? Had she known this would happen?

Cosima brushes her off, “No, no they don’t. That’s just Sarah.”

“Are you sure?” Delphine asks as she watches Cosima strip naked next to the bed, not bothering to put any of their bags away. Are they even going to stay here? Can they? Delphine has no idea, her restless mind continues to suggest possible outcomes without consensus. She’s tired, too tired to keep going any longer.

“Come here,” Cosima holds out her arms, “You need sleep too.”

They’re both too tired, far too tired. But for the moment, to reaffirm their connection skin to skin, Delphine agrees, stripping down and crawling into Cosima’s arms.

“Are we going to stay here?” Delphine whispers in the dark.

“We have to,” Cosima mumbles, “We need their resources, and you won’t be able to travel again... you know it’s true.”

She cuddles in closer, gently kissing Cosima’s mouth once. She’s right, they’re stuck. Cosima’s health. The child inside her. They can’t leave, not easily and not soon. But can they truly afford to stay?


	2. Chapter 2

They pile into the cars, Cal, Sarah and Kira leading them in their truck as Cosima and Delphine follow behind. It’s a quiet ride, they’ve already switched off driving, letting Cosima rest as she trails the brown truck down the dirt roads toward town.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you want your oxygen?” Delphine asks for the umpteenth time that morning, glancing over at a pale Cosima closing her eyes and leaning back on the seat.

“Stop asking me. Stop mothering me.” Cosima brushes her off.

Delphine bites her lip, glancing over at Cosima, “You know this is important. Your health is important.”

“I’m sorry... just please don’t.” Cosima crosses her arms and leans away from her. She’d been like that since this morning, did this have to do with her family? Or only her health?

“Will we get a lab space soon?”

“I think we can manage something. I’ll need to find Scott, maybe while you’re at the clinic?” Cosima tries to keep conversation light, but it’s not working.

“Right. Well, we have the embryo, but I want it working on becoming your lungs and for that we need-”

“Lab space. Scott might have something, he might be useful to us.”

“How?”

“He knows how to alter genomes, sequence them... all that shit. Genetics PhD student.”

Delphine nods, whoever this Scott is they’ll need his help, “Alright.”

“I love you.” Cosima mumbles again, turning to face her.

“I know,” Delphine sighs, reaching one hand to briefly squeeze Cosima’s.

**  
There’s not much, the same small city they’ve left, it’s barely industrialized. A few large buildings, some apartments, to Delphine it seems to be a trading centre for the north continent... or at least this area of it.

“Okay, so Cal is going to take Cosima to the hospital to get scanned...hopefully.”

“Oh not hopefully. I’m bribing them.” Cal admits readily.

“I’ll go with you.” Delphine volunteers instantly.

“Better not, maternity clinic for you. Come on.” Sarah gestures to her, “Kira, go with your dad and Auntie Cosima.”

Kira nods, and moves to hold Cosima’s hand, “I’ll stay with you.”

“I know you will.” Cosima ruffles Kira’s curly hair fondly.

“I want to stay with Cosima.” Delphine states again firmly, “I am a doctor...”

“Yeah I know what you are. Cal?” Sarah looks for support from him.

Cal shrugs, “Next time, but when you do - you’re Cosima’s doctor. Being anything else to her won’t help either of you around here.”

“I’m her partner.” Delphine asserts more firmly.

“Not here you’re not. Not if Cos is telling the truth about needing surgery. Let’s go.” Sarah leads on and with an encouraging nod from Cosima she follows Sarah down several streets. 

“Are these prefabricated colony buildings?” Delphine looks around, they look familiar to her.

“Yeah.” Sarah doesn’t talk much, and leads her into a large building. It doesn’t seem right, Delphine notices. No signage, nothing speaking of a maternity clinic or doctors or midwives. She follows up the stairs until she comes to a door and Sarah gestures for her to enter it.

She’s led into a dark room and feels multiples sets of hands pushing her down on a chair. She screams, unable to help herself, a hand clamps down on her mouth. Delphine quickly becomes aware that she is being tied.

“No screaming.” A low raspy voice tells her softly, “And I’ll let you talk.”

Delphine nods her head.

“What is going on?” She asks, frightened as she feels the ropes being tightened around her hands, her mouth finally free.

“Do we have to?” A man’s voice whines, “I didn’t sign up for this. I said you could bring her here, yeah and now I’m done.”

“Fee, of course we have to.” Sarah’s voice would be distinctive anywhere, the weird mish-mosh of her accent.

“Cosima’s gonna be pissed.” The man reminds her. 

“Shh. It’s just an interrogation.” Another voice, a woman’s.

“What are you doing?” Delphine asks before a lamp is finally turned on illuminating her captors. A middle-aged woman with red hair, a lean man and Sarah herself are looking back at her. The older woman stands the closest, fingers wrapped around a large kitchen knife held far too close to Delphine. She briefly thinks of screaming for Cosima again - how far could she be? They are in some sort of studio, she’s surrounded by nothing but paintings highly charged with phallic imagery.

Delphine blinks looking around, her captors seem calm around her - like this is nothing new to them. Where is she? Why had she allowed herself to be separated from Cosima? Stupid, she scolds herself.

“You wanna start Siobhan?” Sarah leers at Delphine, before addressing the older woman beside her.

“There’s a missing persons report on you,” Siobhan informs her, “Not much else. Easy to dig up crap on Leekie - his enjoyment of sex workers makes it easy to track him.” She taps the stack of folders on the counter, “Though, less often in the last five years. He brings you to some of those conferences now. You didn’t own any property for your first few years at DYAD - despite the financial ability to do so.”

“What are those?”

“Files.” Siobhan taps them as she responds, “Leekie. Leekie’s wife. Leekie’s son... and then there’s you.”

“So?” This is nothing entirely surprising, Delphine looks back at them, aiming for her face to be impassive. None of this is news to her.

The middle-aged woman speaks first, “Were you or were you not Aldous Leekie’s lover?”  
   
“We’re starting with that?” The man is beyond annoyed now, he sighs and stomps a foot.

“Quiet Felix.” The women chorus together, before looking somewhat embarrassed. 

Delphine hesitates, lover wouldn’t be the word she would choose, “I was his mistress.”

“I’m not here to argue semantics with you; answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.” The woman barks back impatiently.

“Yes.”

“See Fee?” Sarah points at her, “Can’t trust her. I gave S her name as soon as she arrived with Cos.”

“Yeah. Whatever. Why am I here? Why do we have to do this here?” Felix leans back against the wall, his posture cat-like and his eyes bored.

“For how long?” Sarah shoots at her, “Sorry Siobhan... you do the questions.”

“Almost 5 years.” Delphine says, why are they asking her this? Why do they care... unless...

“So we’re going to ransom her and the sprog? Brilliant!” Felix speaks again, voice loaded with sarcasm, “I’ll just go break the news to Cosima then.” 

“Take it easy Felix.” Siobhan retorts, “What do you know of DYADs current projects? How many clones are they holding? What do you know about Sarah and Cosima’s batch?”

“I don’t know. The trip here was long.” She knows of course - they’re making telepaths. But Delphine says nothing She’s unsure if it’s wise to tell then, she feels protective of the telepaths, they’re not even born yet...

“What is DYAD working on?”  
   
Delphine remains quiet, keeping her face impassive. None of the telepaths is anything more than a fetus at the moment. Soon they’ll be babies, a few weeks ahead of her own in age. What would this resistance do? Kill them? Kill their parents? No, she won’t let that happen.

 “Okay let’s try something simpler - where is Dr. Leekie?” Siobhan tries an easier question.

“In cryo. For another couple months, I think. Leda 4.”

Siobhan regards her carefully “Good. How far along are you? Your pregnancy?”

“17 weeks.” Delphine answers without hesitation - telling them that is easy.

“Least she knows her dates.” Siobhan responds sarcastically, “And this is Leekie’s child?” 

Delphine smiles, that she’s certain of, “No.”

“No?” Sarah rolls her eyes, “Come on... give us something useful.”

“Are you sure?” Siobhan repeats.

“Yes.” Delphine answers in one syllable, she won’t be telling them the true paternity of her child - the dead donor who was biologically the father of Cosima and Sarah’s batch, it’s too... strange. But she has no intention of allowing them to think that Leekie fathered this child either.

“You think she’s telling the truth?” Felix glances at Mrs. S.

Siobhan nods, “I think so.” 

“Would Leekie pay to have you back?” Sarah shoots her question at her.

“No. He will probably have me killed.” Delphine speaks honestly now, how can these people possibly believe that selling her back to DYAD is an option? And more importantly, what are they trying to trade her for?

“Well that’s disappointing. I was just getting into the drama.” Felix has thrown up his hands now, “So no ransoming... now what?”

“I wanna know,” Sarah steps towards her, glancing down at her belly, “You have to choose between Cosima and your baby, yeah? Who do you choose?”  

“Cosima.” Delphine answers without hesitation. It’s all wrong. She doesn’t want to choose - she shouldn’t have to choose. Is Sarah threatening injury? Termination? Or just playing with her mind?

“Holy shit! What are you doing?” The door swings open revealing a breathless Cosima with Kira in tow. Siobhan jumps up to hide her knife, but they are unable to hide Delphine tied to the chair between them. Cosima is gasping for breath, but she moves towards them regardless.

“It’s fine Cos, leave us.” Sarah tries to retain control of the situation.

Kira seems unfazed, perhaps because Felix has leapt over his sofa rushing to cover her eyes with his hands and lead her back out of the studio.

Whatever harshness was in Cosima earlier this morning is gone, concern colours her features, “Sarah. Siobhan. Seriously. She’s pregnant.” Cosima stops to take several slow breaths, bracing her body against the couch. Oxygen. She’s not getting enough oxygen, Delphine worries straining towards Cosima looking panicked.

“Just go Cos, we’ll give her back when we’re done. Probably.” Sarah shrug, “We need to know what she knows.”

“You can’t like torture her for information. Let her go.” Cosima has rushed to her side, dropping to her knees, fingers going to untie the ropes.

“We weren’t actually going to cut her.” Siobhan supplies, “Just frighten her a bit.” 

“Yeah. right.” Cosima rolls her eyes, reaching for a knife to cut through the ropes a bit faster. Delphine says nothing for the moment, how will this play out? 

Sarah bursts out, “She’s DYAD Cosima. She was Aldous Leekie’s lover for five years - you can’t expect us to trust her. You can’t trust her. You don’t know her. I don’t think she even knows whose baby she’s carrying.”

“Yeah, I know. Let her go Sarah.” Cosima responds quietly, forcing Sarah to lower her voice to hear her.

Delphine lets out a breathe she’s been holding, “I’m alright.”

“You know?! You knew this and you brought her here? Are you fucking insane Cos?” Sarah begins yelling again.

“No. I’m not. Delphine helped me escape. I love her.” Cosima shakes her head, standing up to go head to head with her sister, it’s odd seeing them fight, almost surreal. The same face, nearly, yelling back. The difference, biologically, is that Sarah, is healthy. It’s easy to tell face to face like this. 

“Uh spy? That one ever occur to you, genius? Are you so fucking desperate that you’d take Aldous Leekie’s sloppy seconds?”

“Sarah. Ease off.” Siobhan interrupts, “Cosima take Delphine out of here. We’ll have her back in for questioning later.”

“Cos be reasonable. Smarten up.” Sarah shouts, “Read her file. S has one.”

“Fine. Questioning only. Next time, I stay with her, the whole time.” Cosima finishes untying her, and helps her up - they move to the door and down the stairs as quietly as they can before reaching the street. One of the busier streets in town - still nothing compared to any planet in the core.

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” Cosima lowers her voice, mouth close to her ear.

“They might have bruised me a little getting me in there, nothing too bad.” She responds just as quietly, “I can’t stay here. It’s not going to work.” Her voice breaks and she watches Cosima’s face, aware her lover is trying not to break with her.

“Hey, it’s alright. We’ll go back to the farm tonight and just, we’ll give her lots of space, okay?” Cosima tries to reassure her, “I don’t care what Sarah says Delphine. I know you love me.” She squeezes her hand, and it almost breaks her heart.

“What about your scan?”

“Oh, Cal’s still bribing the doctor, they’re going to do it this afternoon. As long as I’m back within an hour it won’t be a problem.”

“And lab space?”

“We’ll work something out,” Cosima cups her face in her hands, stroking at her hair.

“Can you breathe?”

“Enough.” Cosima nods, “We need to get back for the scan though... then I’ll take you to the clinic... I’m not going to leave you alone with Sarah again. I’m sorry... I didn’t know until Kira said something -”

“Kira?” Delphine is stunned.

“She overhears a lot...” Cosima explains, “And she likes me.”

“What now?”

“You pose as my physician, we get the scan... we get Cal to swing us some lab space and resources, S has resources too, but they might take a while.”

“We don’t have a while.” Delphine reminds her, “I have some equipment, but... not enough.”

“I know... but we have to.” Cosima nods grimly.


	3. Chapter 3

At the hospital, she’s permitted to observe as Cosima’s physician. She uses her own name on the paperwork - they’re far enough from the core that it doesn’t matter what name she uses. Cal’s off chasing lab space for them after being told Cosima’s survival depended on it. She hates the waiting, it makes her start to pace.

She waits for Cosima to redress after her scan, looking over the preliminary results with the tech.

“It doesn’t look good.” The tech points out, “Lung growths, uterine growths.”

“But it hasn’t spread elsewhere.” Delphine takes a deep breath, they have time. The stem cell injections are holding this pattern, Cosima will live long enough.

“Is she on the transplant list?” The tech jerks a finger towards the room where Cosima is redressing.

“Not yet.” Delphine bites her lip. Cosima needs better than a transplant list, she deserves better than the shortened lifespan that will provide. Another decade would not be nearly enough time.

The tech looks at her grimly, “I think you’re wasting your time.”

“You don’t think she’s stable enough for surgery?”

“Even if she were? You won’t find a good enough surgeon here. You’ll have to import one, and getting lungs is tricky out here. We can’t exactly grow them in a vat. Too expensive, let this one go.”

Delphine nearly laughs, “What if I can?”

“What?” The tech regards her blankly, blinking at her, “What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m an immunologist.” Delphine looks at the woman who gapes blankly at her in response.

“How much is she paying you? This doesn’t sound like colony funded healthcare. She must be loaded...”

Delphine merely smiles and shrugs, there’s nothing to be said as Cosima emerges from the dressing room fully dressed.

“So?”

“You’re stable, for now,” Delphine answers truthfully.

“Good.”

The tech shakes her head at the two of them, “Full results will be in a week, can’t do any sooner.”

“That’s fine.” Delphine responds, “We have to be going.”

 

**

The maternity clinic is housed in a converted house, a small sign outside of it marking it as the clinic. The first room is filled with chairs, women in varying states of pregnancy sit in the chair while others juggle babies, or openly nurse them. Many seem to be talking to each other, few chairs sit empty. A few fathers linger around, some sitting with their heavily pregnant partners. Small children play on the floor, or annoy their mothers as several midwives guide the women to other rooms. For examination, Delphine assumes.

Cosima sits besides her, sitting on her hands to prevent herself from reaching out to hold Delphine’s.

“Name?” A young woman stands in front of her taking her information.

“Delphine Cormier.” She answers the prompt, eyes still looking around the room.

“How many prior pregnancies? Live births?”

“None. And none. This is my first.”

“Really? Are you sure?” The girl’s eyebrow raises, “Okay then, primigravida. Do you know your dates?”

“I’m about 17 weeks.”

“And you waited so long to come in because?” The girl trails off, she cannot be older than 20. A student, Delphine wonders, looking for something to distinguish the girl as in training.   

“I was traveling, we just arrived.”

Cosima injects, “Delphine has been without prenatal care for her entire pregnancy. Can she be seen today?”

“I think she better.” The girl nods, “I think we can squeeze her in shortly, can you have a seat?”

They’re sitting for barely ten minutes when a middle-aged woman emerges, “Delphine?”

“Yes.” Delphine stands, and Cosima stands with her for a moment and motions to follow her in.

“Your friend needs to wait here.” The girl at the desk interjects pointing back at the seat.

“Can’t I go with her?” Cosima tries again, but stops and sits defeated.

“I’m Kendra.” The midwife introduces herself, “So I hear you’re a first-timer.”

“Yes.” Delphine nods nervously, hand going to stroke her belly.

“So, this is how this works. There are eight of us full-time here, a handful of students or part-timers with small children. At least two of us will be at your birth. We’ll do urine and blood tests, measure you, check the heartbeat... There’s another clinic in the outskirts if that’s closer for you - but your file is missing an address. A lot of things actually.” Kendra notes matter-of-factly looking down at the paper.

“Do you do scans? For anything? Problems? Suspected multiples?”

“Not usually.” Kendra admits, “If it looks like there’s a problem we have to send you away.”

“No... what if I suspect multiples?”

Kendra eyes her belly curiously, “Well we can scan you, determine if there are multiples. But then you will have to live in the city, and we’ll be sending you to a level two clinic as soon as you hit 30 weeks. Closest one? Eight hours away.”

“No. I don’t want the test.” Delphine shakes her head, she won’t permit herself to be separated from Cosima, not ever.

“Alright. So we keep going as is. Measurements, blood and urine tests and if everything looks fine you stay here. If something seems off? You’re getting the scan. So date of birth? There’s no year on file.”

“I’ve been in cryo... biologically I’m about 32.” Delphine answers avoiding the question, she notes then, they are probably about the same age chronologically - Kendra and herself.

“Okay... fair enough.” Kendra remarks, “You’re a lucky one then. Also, no husband on file. Unmarried?”

“I don’t have a husband. No partner.” Delphine answers.

“Do you know anything about the baby’s father? Blood type? Name? Health information? ” Kendra probes gently, but when Delphine shakes her head she relents, “Do you want to bring your friend in with you next time?”

“Yes.” She responds almost too quickly.

Kendra waves her off, “We don’t want you to be without support. Don’t pay attention to Amy - she gets annoyed when the waiting room is too full, bring your friend anyways. Usually, it’s young girls who won’t talk bringing their mothers, but friends are fine too.”

“Thank you.” Delphine responds genuinely.

“Okay, let’s get a look at you and measure this belly.” Kendra smiles at her, and rummages around for her equipment.

**

She emerges half an hour later to the waiting room, still filled with pregnant women and mothers and babies, though there’s been a rotation as people have moved in and out.

“So?” Cosima asks her happily, “Did you find out...wait...I don’t want to know the sex. I want to be surprised.”

“Me too. The tests they offer here, are not that invasive. So, a surprise will be fine.” Delphine smiles back easily, “Everything looks fine.” She assures Cosima who seems concerned at her words..

Cosima tilts her head, smiling nervously,“Just one?”

“Oui. Just the one.” Delphine walks out as Cosima holds the door for her. There’s no sense in either of them worrying about things outside of their control. And there’s no chance she will let herself be separated from Cosima, even for tests. 

“Good... I don’t think we can handle two really...” Cosima smiles at her, “One will be enough trouble.”

“Yes.” Delphine nods, taking Cosima’s hand and lets herself be guided away from the clinic. Would Cosima insist on the testing? Wouldn’t it become clear anyways if she was measuring big?

Cal is waiting for them a short distance away, Kira perched on his shoulders.

“Auntie Cosima!” Kira waves enthusiastically, as Cal shifts to support her leaning weight.

Cal pats Kira’s leg, “Easy there, kiddo.”

“So?” Cosima turns to face Cal.

“I found Scott,” Cal smiles, “I’m going to have him brought to the farm tomorrow.”

“Brought?!” Delphine’s brow furrows, but Cosima simply brushes her off. 

“And lab space?” 

“I found something that could work, old converted factory - we have some people working in there. Some of them lab work like Scott.”

“Why can’t I see him today?” Cosima asks, growing suspicious.

Cal shifts, “He’s busy.”

“Doing what?” Cosima shoots back.

But there’s no answer. Is this how this group works? Delphine wonders silently, half-truths and manipulation? And what has really happened to this Scott?

“Come on, we’ll get your crap to your new lab.”

“Will we have appropriate cold storage?” Delphine asks.

“I think we can work something out. You just need liquid nitrogen right? I know a guy.” Cal nods casually, walking back towards the vehicles.

“Is this safe?”

“Probably?” Cosima shrugs, “Maybe? I doubt he’d take Kira there if it weren’t. Not going to endanger his only child.” 

Delphine nods, this makes sense. It has to, “So we go with this?” 

“What other choice do we have?”

Delphine permits Cal to carry the heavier crate up to the lab. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. Aged metal siding, various doors. Their own lab they have to enter by climbing a set of metal stairs. Cosima seems fine climbing, but takes two breaks to breathe.

It’s a workspace anyways, with cold storage, Delphine notes happily looking around the room. Fluorescent lighting. Ventilation systems. Old lab equipment.

“Is this going to be enough?” Cosima hisses her question at Delphine.

“I have the artificial amniotic fluid, and an artificial womb.” Delphine responds just as quietly watching Cal gently put the crate on a high table.

“I’ll leave the rest of this to you.” Cal nods, “We’re headed home in about 3 hours - after the meeting. So, meet us by the truck or make your own arrangements.”

“Fair enough. Later Cal.” Cosima nods, seemingly calmed by this, she begins to check the lab’s systems.

“I will get the cold storage running.” Delphine states decisively stalking over to the freezer. A reasonable first priority.

“So... what else do we need?”

“Equipment. A geneticist would be helpful. Someone who has engineered before.” Delphine pauses, putting a hand to her head, she should make a list.

“We have that.” Cosima reiterates, “Scott.”

“Alright. Scott. And I will need a food source for the lungs. Mix of artificial fluids, human blood.”

“Blood. Great.” Cosima nods awkwardly.

“Cosima... how much do you know about growing organs?”

“Umm not much. I’ve like never seen it. You manipulate the genes right? So just the right organ grows?”

Delphine bites her lip, “It’s a little more involved than that.” Words like vestigial organs, and phrases like ‘fetal remnants’ bounce around her mind, but she says nothing.

Cosima smiles, “Okay. We’ll figure it out.”

She has no idea, Delphine realizes, how gory or involved this can be.

**

By the time they’re driving back to the...farm? Cosima napping beside her as she follows Cal’s truck down the dirt road.

“Mon amour...” Delphine starts, glancing over to check Cosima’s breathing.

“Mmm?”

“How long will we stay here?”

“Until we get something in the city.” Cosima mutters, “Why?”

She watches the truck pull to a stop briefly and a stranger approach the door.

“What’s this?”

“Pretend you see nothing.” Cosima advises sitting up and craning forward to get a better look.

“Do you know him?” Delphine gestures towards the figure.

  Cosima shrugs it off, “Can’t tell from here. Sunset. Bad lighting.”

By time they start moving again they are both eager to return home.

When they finally pull in and park, Kira takes off towards the yurt but Sarah lingers right in front of their vehicle until she climbs from it.

“You. Out. You’re going to talk.” Sarah crosses her arms in front of her body, trying to appear more imposing.

“Not tonight Sarah.” Cosima cuts her off, stepping between the two of them.

“We need information. She has it.” Sarah points.

“She has a name.” Cosima reminds her sister.

“Yeah. Delphine Cormier. I remember. I also remember-”

“Not tonight.” Cosima shakes her head, “We’ll make our own dinner, you just... go calm down.”

“Cos.” Sarah pleads with her for a moment but Cosima doesn’t budge, “Fine. You won’t listen. But... I don’t want her anywhere near Kira. Or anything else sensitive. You got it?”

“We’re staying at your farm!” Cosima answers just as incredulously, “How do you want us to go about that?”   
Sarah doesn’t answers, simply sliding her hands in her pockets and heading directly for the larger yurt.

“Come here,” Cosima moves to pull the blanket from the back seat and around herself.

“Why? Aren’t we going to go eat?”  
   
“Soon.” Cosima shoots one last look towards the big yurt before pulling her in, hands quickly reaching for the closures on her garments as she presses lingering kisses to her neck, her cheeks.

Delphine laughs at Cosima’s hands tugging on her clothes, “Let’s go inside, chérie.”

“No... right here. Right here.” Cosima insists quietly, pulling the blanket from her shoulders to wrap around both of them as she guides Delphine to the ground.

It’s then she realizes, Cosima wants Sarah to see. She wants them to see this.

Cosima begins to undress her, at least reaching under her shirt and sweater.Does she really want to be naked outside in autumn, like some sort of teenage dare. They both giggle slightly, not even ten metres from the main yurt. Why is Cosima doing this? Why is she letting her?

“This is about Sarah.” Delphine stops suddenly, holding Cosima by the arms.

“No, this is about us.” Cosima takes a deep breath, “And… yeah I want to show her.”

“Why?”

“How much I love you. I want her to hear us.” Cosima confesses, laying sweet kisses to her neck, Delphine pouts thinking for a moment. To go along with Cosima’s passion, even if it’s not solely for her? To stop this? How much could they hear from the yurt? The soundproofing was minimal, but they weren’t exactly right next to it either.

“Are you going to be okay on the ground?” Delphine murmurs, trying to surrender herself to this burst of passion. A claiming? She wonders. Is that what this is really about?

“I should be asking you that,” Cosima responds tugging off her shirt. It’s cold, too cold really, Delphine decides, nipples hardening instantly at the feel of cool air. 

“I’ll be okay. I’m not that big yet.” Delphine comments, as her belly is revealed, Cosima immediately begins working on her pants. It reminds her of Leda 4 in a way, outside with Cosima under the stars. 

“It’s cold.” Cosima laughs, switching positions to wrap the blanket around Delphine, “Sit on my lap, keep me warm.”

“Cosima we could just-”

“No... here.” Cosima repeats more seriously, pulling her in for another kiss, “I want you. Do you remember the last time we did this?”

Of course she remembers, but it doesn’t feel the same. Or even like this is about them, about love. Delphine kisses back half-heartedly, Cosima wants to… what? Get back at Sarah? Put on a show? This isn’t Leda 4. This isn’t surrendering to love, or desire. It isn’t even summer here.

“Non.” Delphine pushes gently, “It’s too cold. And this isn’t about me.” She makes her way to the yurt, a grumpy Cosima in tow. 

“I’ll start the woodstove.” Cosima volunteers, “Go shower or something.”

She does as she’s told, warm water soothes her body and she hears Cosima throwing some kind of dinner together. She swears she hears voices, but when she emerges from the shower, naked, she sees no one but Cosima.

“Are you warm enough now?” Cosima asks without looking over.

“Yes.” Delphine considers, should she attempt to bring Cosima up to bed? Does she really want that? Is she even feeling well enough.

“Good, come and eat.” Cosima indicates a quick porridge she’s thrown together. Simple, but it will do them well enough.

“How are you? Really?” Delphine decides on finally, sitting down across from Cosima picking up her spoon.

Cosima smiles, “Tired. Short of breath. Same as before. But… not as bad as in space… does that make any sense?”

“A little.” Delphine considers playing with her food, “Why do you need to prove anything to Sarah?”

“I just want her to see how much you want me.” Cosima spoons porridge into her mouth liberally, “I want her to know that this is real. That you’re mine and she needs to respect that.”

“Will she ever?”

“Sarah’s not a bigot, Delphine. She’s just protective of us.” Cosima gestures calmly, as if to soothe her.

“Us?” Delphine drops her spoon in surprise.

“Of me.” Cosima corrects herself, “Cal brought over some food. Groceries. Supplies. Stuff.”

Delphine’s brow furrows, is there more than one clone here? Is Cosima hiding something from her? Someone?

“I just want to go to bed.” She announces, her dinner not even half-finished. It had all been too much.This day. This place. Cosima’s family.

“No, finish your food. You need it. Your baby needs it.” Cosima sighs, “Then we’ll sleep.”

Her baby. As if Delphine could forget with the tiny flickering movements she can feel even now. “Alright.” She acquiesces.

“It will be okay, Delphine.” Cosima reassures reaching for her hand.

She eats willingly, until she’s decided that she’s eaten enough that Cosima will not bother her, before climbing up the stairs to bed. It reminds her vaguely of her cabin, if she closes her eyes. But that was her sanctuary. What is this place? A prison? A holding place until the resistance decides what to do with her?

Cosima seems to sense her unease when she joins her fifteen minutes later, “You’re still awake.”

“Yes.” She answers without opening her eyes.

“Don’t worry about them.” Cosima reaches over a hand to stroke her hair, “It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

But does she mean it? Could Cosima truly mean that? Even so,as she’s crawling into bed next to Cosima, she wonders How much doesn’t she know?


	4. Chapter 4

She wakes to soft lips on her cheek, on her forehead, she smiles before she opens her eyes. She stretches slightly, groaning at Cosima’s eager touch on her body. It’s easy to forget everything like this. Especially waking up like this.

 “Morning.” Cosima whispers softly, tucking curls behind her ear. It’s so comfortable here, so perfect waking up like this, that for a few moments she forgets exactly where she is.

“Morning.” She echoes blinking blearily up at her love. Sunlight is streaming in from the skylight, haloing behind Cosima’s face. As usual, her body is easily aroused.  A soft mouth is on her own within minutes, she hadn’t bothered with pyjamas, and neither had Cosima, she lets her hands gently map the now familiar contours of Cosima’s body. 

“Mmm get on top of me,” Cosima begs quietly, pulling her up to straddle her.

“I’ll be too heavy.” She mumbles in response, concerned for a moment, even as Cosima moans softly beneath her.

“No... not yet.” Cosima seems to delight in the warm weight of her, hands roaming up her thighs and hips, caressing her skin. She tugs Cosima back in for another kiss at the soft touch to her belly. A hand warmly smoothing over stretching skin.

When Cosima breaks the kiss she finds her looking down, a dopey smile on her face as she pulls away. Now straddling her little love, she admires her, checking her breathing, ensuring that she is truly okay.

“What is it?” She’s trained herself now, to pay attention to Cosima’s breathing, to watch for signs of distress during intimate moments. She cannot let Cosima overexert herself, even for this. 

“They’re big.” Cosima grins delightedly admiring Delphine’s breasts in her hands, “And heavier... and I think your nipples are getting darker.” 

Delphine blushes, rolling her eyes at Cosima’s fascination, “It’s weird.” Her body is changing continually, and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. She’s still not used to it, will she ever be? Pregnancy is at the very least a fun novelty to Cosima, Delphine muses happily.

“No... it’s gorgeous!” Cosima exclaims delightedly, “And, like, important.” She adds after a moment of consideration and gentle groping.

Delphine’s brow furrows, “What?”

Cosima nods with a wry smile, “Umm the baby has to find the nipple.”

“Should be pretty easy.” Delphine grumbles looking down, “It’s so different already.” 

“Hey... I love them... okay?” Cosima dips her head to delicately take a nipple in her mouth, sucking firmly.

“Ahh...” She cannot stop herself from crying out, even though Cosima is gentle.

“Aww... you okay, baby?” Cosima murmurs to her, breaking away to kiss her way over to her other breast.

“Yes. Just please be gentle.” She’s gotten sensitive again, Delphine notes internally.

“Good.” Cosima groans, repeating the motion, a little more gently.

Delphine toys gently at dreads, trying to get Cosima to look at her, “Do you really like it?” She enjoys Cosima’s fixation, but still desires reassurance.

Cosima raises her eyebrows at her in annoyance but is unable to answer, instead giving her nipple a firm suck. She cries out again and Cosima’s groans into her breast.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Cosima releases a nipple with a pop, hand dipping lower now as she continues to kiss the swells of her breasts.

“Cosima.” She whimpers as a warm hand cups her dripping centre, teasing her sensitive folds, “Push into me...please.”

Cosima groans at the feel of her, urging her up to straddle her, “Ever since you’ve been pregnant...”

“Hmm?” Delphine hums between kisses pressed to Cosima’s hairline, trying to keep the blanket around them, keep out the chill. Though it’s much warmer than space, warm enough, that she’s convinced Cosima has been downstairs to stoke the wood stove already. What time is it? Delphine wonders before the sweet stroking of Cosima’s fingertips distract her again.

“You get so wet...” Cosima moans openly, “I had no idea it would be like this. Or that I would be this into it.”

“I want this to be good for you.” Delphine manages to mumble between kisses as fingers stretch her gently, Cosima continuing to stroke into her. She’s suddenly aware of how much she can hear outside the yurt, there’s certainly something going on outside. Something heavy being dragged maybe?

“It is...” Cosima groans happily, rocking up into her with their steady movements, “I’m with you.”

“Is... are they outside?” She finds herself momentarily distracted, tensing like a meerkat at sounds from outside the yurt. Soundproofing seems to be almost nonexistent.

“Don’t worry about that. What do you want? Faster?” Cosima offers, speeding up, “Do you need more?” She looks up at her, instantly eager to please once again. Anything else, all memories of strange expressions flitting across her lover’s face yesterday fade instantly.

“Ohhh...” Delphine bites her lip, trying to stop herself from crying out. Sarah will hear them, or worse, Kira. As she rolls her hips, she becomes aware of her belly brushing against Cosima’s skin, Cosima’s free hand wrapped around her.

“Oh it’s okay, make noise.” Cosima encourages her, laying soft kisses on her neck, before biting down firmly, marking her once again.

She cannot help herself from crying out in response, “Ahh.”

“I love you so much,” Cosima promises her as she tenses around her, arms clinging more tightly, “You feel so good.”

She whimpers again unable to help herself, “Cosima...” It’s easy, too easy to lose herself in this. She tears up despite herself, letting tears drip down her cheeks. But the small brunette does not stop her movements, instead continuing to move inside her until she crests again.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.” Cosima promises her as she shatters again in her arms, “I wouldn’t change any of this.”

Delphine comes down slowly, smiling until she realizes how tightly Cosima is clinging to her, the slight hitch to her breathing that suggests Cosima is crying, “Are we...”

“We’re good. I love you.” Cosima reassures blinking back her own tears, kissing at her cheeks.

Delphine plays with a dread absently, “What’s wrong ma chérie?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Cosima reassures her with a tender kiss, trying to infuse all her affection into it, “Can’t do anything about it.”

“About your family?” 

“They’re scared of you, Delphine.” Cosima admits sadly, “I really don’t know how this is going to go. They barely want you to have lab access, it’s crazy.”

“I’ll make you forget that.” Delphine tells her decisively. A new craving surging up in her, her hormones completely at odds with their situation. Cosima’s health. Cosima’s family... and still it’s all she can think of.

“You will?” Cosima giggle slightly, interrupting a sob as she watches Delphine cautiously move down her body, trying not to laugh at how she has to reposition herself - ass up in the air.

“Oui.” Delphine tells Cosima decisively, nuzzling at wet curls, feeling another surge of excitement inside her, and a slight flutter that alerts her that they are not truly alone. She delights in the smell of her lover, the taste of her. How has she gone days without this?

Cosima regards her with concern, “If it’s not comfortable for you to-”

“I want to.” Delphine grins delightedly as Cosima eases her legs up at apart to grant her easier access.

She moans at her first taste of Cosima, easing her hands underneath her lover’s ass to guide her up into her mouth. How could she have only been doing this for a few months? How could she have only known Cosima for... what now? Five months including the cryo time? There’s never been enough of this, enough of having Cosima any way.

“I love how you’re so into it.” Cosima admits, her voice a low groan as her hips surge up to meet Delphine’s eager mouth.

“Mmm.” She hums happily in response, refusing to part her mouth from Cosima’s needy sex, she feels warm enough to let the blankets slip down around them, looking up at Cosima’s heaving chest and twisting neck. Thighs tighten and shake around her head until her beloved is moaning and gushing her pleasure.

Heavy breathing alerts Delphine to pay attention once again, “You alright?” She pushes herself up to get a good look at Cosima, where she can still stroke her fingers along the length of her hips, her thighs, watching her lover respond in small ways. She rests her head on Cosima’s chest, listening to her heartbeat gradually slow underneath her, smiling to herself.

“Much better than alright.” Cosima manages out, “How about you? Satisfied?”

“I...” Delphine starts out before the guilt sets in, “I can’t seem to get enough,” she finally admits sheepishly. She could easily go again, perhaps all morning, but Cosima should not have to strain to satisfy her need. 

“Aww...” Cosima laughs before turning to slight coughing.  
 Instantly her posture changes, she props herself up above Cosima, leaning for some sort of cloth to absorb the blood she is certain will appear.

“I’m sorry.” Cosima apologizes wiping off her mouth, fingers smeared red.

“No... we should have been more careful.” She should be on top, shouldn’t have let herself rest so much of her own weight on Cosima’s chest.  Shouldn’t be so demanding of her sexually. Shouldn’t let their encounters be so prolonged. 

“I can’t quite keep up with you anymore can I?” Cosima shakes her head, “I’m still going to try, obvs. Cause... I want to. It’s fine. You said my lungs were holding steady.”

“Yes, but they are not getting better either.” Delphine reminds her, they have to get to work, and soon. But it’s not like they can forget to grow new lungs, assuming they can find a surgeon.

Cosima grins, seemingly calmed, “Well we have a plan for that, come on, breakfast is waiting.”

When she dresses quickly and follows Cosima down the stairs, she’s surprised to find a neatly arranged basket of what seems to be provisions, including baked goods and preserves.

“Have a muffin, they’re really good.” Cosima advises grabbing one and handing it out for her to bite.

 She takes a bite without even grabbing the muffin first, making Cosima giggle again. “It’s good.” Delphine responds delightedly, taking the muffin from Cosima’s hand. But it doesn’t quite fit, she cannot picture Sarah or Cal making them. Kira perhaps, if she had help. Everything was neatly sorted into the basket. It’s off somehow, it doesn’t quite add up.

“Are you going to help me empty it?” Cosima begins to sort the tins and bags, “Oh awesome, sweaters.”  
 Cosima holds out the larger package to her, after looking at it for a moment. Cosima opens her own smaller package, shaking out a beautifully made dark red sweater, “Come on, take a look Delphine.” There’s a tiny card with her own name written carefully on it; all the garments seemed to be marked in the same way.

“Cosima... who made all this?” Delphine asks, as her fingers slip against a softer sort of wool than she’s felt in ages, “What is this made from.”

“Just put it on.” Cosima urges, the sweater in question is a deep brown, but as she slips it over her head, she notes that it has been made with plenty of extra room for her growing belly.

“Is this... made for a pregnant woman?” Delphine notes, the sweater is both warm and cozy, without being too thick. It doesn’t feel like any synthetic she can remember wearing before DYAD, but...

“Awesome isn’t it? She’s even found one of the maternity ones for you.” Cosima comments. “Oh great I love this stuff,” Cosima pulls out a jar of some kind of preserve she cannot identify instantly on sight, a label marks the jar in a delicate cursive.

 “Who Cosima? This was not Sarah.” Delphine’s seen enough of Cosima’s clone sister to understand that. 

“Nope,” Cosima agrees without volunteering any more information, “Not Sarah.”

“Then who, mon amour? Who made all this for us?” Delphine digs deeper, finding a couple other sweaters, other clothing - though she would have to examine it to find out if it was made for Cosima or for herself. A dress made from another soft fabric, again with room to give.

“Does it matter?” Cosima asks, “Let’s ... just enjoy it for now, okay?”

 “Who else is here Cosima?” Delphine asks again, but she receives no response, instead watches Cosima begin to sort their new belongings to be put away.

She steps outside when she hears the squealing laughter of a child, only to find herself face to face with Kira, holding a large fluffy rabbit in her arms.

“Un lapin.” Delphine repeats dumbstruck, unable to think of anything else, “Un lapin.”

“Hi Delphine.” Kira responds, as the rabbit escapes her grasp and begins to hop towards... something.

“Why... why do you have a rabbit?” Delphine finds the words in English, “What is going on here, Kira?”

“We have lots of rabbits. French angora.” Kira pronounces carefully, “Where else did you think your sweater came from?” To Kira, this is normal, this is her life, Delphine supposes.

“Rabbits...Rabbits...” Delphine repeats shaking her head. She hasn’t seen a rabbit in years... so many years.

“Whoa, monkey, what have I told you about letting the rabbits out of --shite.” Sarah runs up to her daughter, “Well I guess Auntie Cosima’s finally out of bed then.”

“Yes. She’s putting things away.” Delphine answers honestly.

“You know yurts are shite with soundproofing, yeah? So think about that next time before-” Sarah cuts herself off looking behind her. Delphine doesn’t need to turn around to know that Cosima is behind her.

“Morning Sarah.” Cosima’s voice rings from behind her as an arm weaves itself around her waist.

“Cos...” Sarah’s voice turns pleading, suddenly softer somehow.

“We talked about this last night. Delphine is here to stay, and she is staying with me.” Cosima states firmly, “Without her? I will die.”

“You’re going to die?” Kira sits up shocked, the rabbit forgotten.

“Kira,” Sarah instructs her daughter, “Go catch that rabbit, yeah? Put her back with the others.”

“Okay mom... I don’t want Auntie Cosima to die.” Kira’s instantly serious, seeming much older than her eight years.

“I’m not going to die,” Cosima comforts the child quickly, “Auntie Delphine is going to save me.”

Kira chases after the rabbit, “Dad, I need help catching Monty again!” She calls through the bush.

“Auntie Delphine?” Sarah turns to Cosima, ignoring her completely, “Who decided she gets to be Auntie Delphine?”

“Well... she’s my partner, that’s my decision isn’t it? It’s not like you tell-” Cosima cuts herself off after a furtive look at Delphine. It becomes clearer and clearer that she has no idea of what is truly going on here, Delphine admits silently to herself. 

“Right... “ Sarah shakes her head, “We’re having Scott brought here soon, so knock off the shagging for a few hours, alright? They left to get him last night… it won’t be long now.”

Cosima nods, “You’re going to have to learn to get along. Both of you.”

“Why? Because you love shagging her?” Sarah shakes her head, “She’s pregnant, Cosima, she’s horny as fuck… she’d fuck anyone.” 

“Just because you would, doesn’t mean Delphine is like you.” Cosima shoots back making her sister scowl.

“I love her. Do you understand me.” Delphine says finally, looking towards Sarah, “I would do anything for Cosima. I will save her, but I need your help.”

“You do?” Sarah and Cosima chorus together, Cosima’s eyes wide, Sarah scoffing crossing her arms across her chest.

Delphine tries to explain quickly, “Sarah has had a child. Her infertility sequence isn’t working, if I can induce the same response in you - I may be able to have a real cure. And Kira’s DNA… biologically she’s your child; I may be able to-”

 

“No. You will never lay a hand on my daughter.” Sarah shakes her head, “And you’re not getting so much as a cheek swab from me.”

“Using Kira isn’t an option,” Cosima agrees, more calmly, “But… if we could cure this instead of just hold it off..”

 

“Cosima… you need a transplant. But your disease will attack the new lungs- unless I can cure it, or keep it in check.” Delphine holds Cosima just a little closer.

“Transplant?” Sarah’s eyes bulge slightly, as she takes in just how serious this all is, “Cos, why didn’t you tell me?”

Cosima shakes her head, gestures growing more frantic,“Because it’s not important. We have bigger problem to worry about.”

“You being dead is a big problem.” Sarah shakes her head, “I don’t even give a shit about the -”

 

A quick look between the sisters silences things.

“So your girlfriend knows about the rabbits.” Sarah turns to her sister, thoroughly unamused.

“Oh, well that takes care of that, right? Oh Sarah… it’s just the rabbits, what’s the big deal?” Cosima tries to smooth things over, at least, that is what it looks like to Delphine.

“Why do you have rabbits?” Delphine interrupts, “It’s illegal to have any sort of livestock animal.”

Sarah just laughs, looking at her like she’s sprouted another head. The resistance obviously doesn’t care about the law, perhaps that makes them more dangerous than anyone else she’s known. If they don’t respect the food and livestock laws, why would they respect anything else?

“Oh yeah,” Cosima smiles, “Black market rabbits, awesome isn’t it? Use them for wool mostly - the fur sells for more money than you’d ever believe. Some people sell them for meat too-”

“But Kira won’t let us.” Sarah finishes calmy, “We don’t eat them… occasionally we’ve managed to sneak one out to butcher and sell - but it always ends badly with Kira.”

The resistance is making money on black market rabbits, if it weren’t so insane Delphine would laugh for hours at the thought. Of this seemingly tough woman raising and breeding French Angora rabbits, thought somehow she sees Cal at being better at caring for the critters. 

“She always seems to know, doesn’t she?” Cosima comments nonchalantly.

“Do you think she heard us?” Delphine looks to Cosima, disregarding Sarah for the moment.

“I’m sure everyone within five metres of your yurt heard you.” Sarah shakes her head in disgust, “Can’t you fuck at night like everyone else?”

“Leave it Sarah.” Cosima stands her ground, “Let us figure this out - you know we will be useful to you.”

 

“We?” Sarah sneers.

“Delphine and I,” Cosima continues insistently, “We could cure this disease problem. And maybe… maybe we’ll figure out a lot more with the information Delphine can bring to the table.”

Sarah looks at her directly, “You honestly trust her?”

“I really do.” Cosima responds without hesitation, giving Delphine’s hand a strong squeeze.

“Okay, Delphine can stay, for now. I promise no physical harm, but she’s going to have to answer some questions.” Sarah agrees finally, seemingly sincere. 

“Like what?” Delphine asks.

“Like why the fuck you’re even here.” Sarah shoots back, “I have to get back to work, or help catch a rabbit. Stay out of trouble.”

“We’ll just go back to bed!” Cosima hollers after her, “That will keep us out of trouble, right?”

The only response from Sarah, is flipping them the bird without turning around, continuing to walk away in the direction of high pitched childish squeals and laughter. 

“Cosima!” Delphine laughs, but finds herself chiding Cosima the same.

“What, like you weren’t thinking it too?” Cosima teases, grinning at her again, “How else are we going to kill the time before Scott arrives?”

“Cosima, how many people are living here?”

“What do you mean?” Cosima plays dumb, but even her gestures seem halfhearted.

“Cosima, how many clone-sisters do you have? How many people live here?” Delphine repeats insistently. Is that what is going on? Are there others here? Another who made their care-basket? Who found these clothes for them?

“Umm… okay, I’m not supposed to tell you that but, uh, you better sit down.” Cosima gestures apologetically, “Sarah is going to kill me after this conversation so… please don’t let on that you know.”

“Tell me.” Delphine encourages again.

“Yes. There are others. I can’t tell you anymore until…” Cosima glances around, “I’m not really supposed to tell anyone, you know?”

“Tell anyone what?” A male voice tentatively calls from a few metres away.

“Qui?” Delphine turns to see a flurry of movement as Cosima releases her hands and bounds towards the stranger.


	5. Chapter 5

“Scott!” Cosima exclaims, running a couple metres to see him up close, “Happy to see you’re still in one piece.”

“Yeah. Me too... Cosima we have to talk about... your... family.” Scott chooses his words carefully, looking back over his shoulder at awkward looking intervals. Here outside the yurts, who else was here? Who else would be listening?

“So this is Delphine,” Cosima gestures towards her, and she responds with a small wave. The pair head over towards her and she forgets about their mysterious care basket for the time being.

“Hello Scott.” Delphine reaches out a hand to greet him properly.

Scott looks her over nervously, “Hey...”

“I’m looking forward to working with you.” Delphine throws in on an impulse, it’s true though, if this man can help grown lungs for Cosima she’d be forever grateful.

“Working… what kind of work do you do?” Scott glances between them again.

“Immunology and medicine.” Delphine answers without hesitation.

Scott leans in towards her, “Wow…”

“She’s mine. Don’t even think about it dude.” Cosima pokes him in the chest, “Anyways we need your help.”

“With what?” He crosses his arms in front of himself, looking defensive, “I mean... I got in enough trouble with you. You made me run your blood sample. I was questioned. Kidnapped. Questioned again...”

Looking between Cosima and this rather nervous seeming young man, Delphine realizes ‘friend’ may be an overstatement of their relationship.

“Least you weren’t tortured.” Cosima threw back, “What do you think of custom organ growing Scotty?”

Of course he wouldn’t have been tortured, somehow it was far too easy to imagine this Scott nervously telling his captors everything that they might want to know.

“Well yeah. I just told them everything I knew... I didn’t even know you were a clone. You seem so normal.”

“Gee thanks Scotty...”

“No I mean even compared to your other clones...” Scott trails off nervously, looking at Delphine and Cosima frantically shaking her head.

Maybe she would have to accept not knowing what is going on, at least for now. There are more than two clones here, Delphine decides, but if she pushes for more information Cosima may lock her out completely.

“Let’s just use the word sister.” Cosima suggests, “I’m sorry about the whole relocation kidnapping thing.”

“Right… okay sisters then.”

“So how have you been?” Cosima inquires somewhat carefully.

“You mean from being bodybagged outside my apartment, thrown in a truck, thrown on a spaceship, handcuffed…” Scott trails off, apparently trying to remember the details of his relocation.

“Yeah… I am so sorry about that.” Cosima grimaces, hands gesturing towards him, “I had like no idea they’d come after you. I mean you didn’t know anything.”

“Are you kidding?” Scott lights up, “I have my own lab! This is like the best thing to ever happen to me. And they pay me. Really well!”

“Good.” Cosima nods, “So... you in?”

“Umm yeah!” Scott grins, “So what exactly are we growing?”

“New lungs for Cosima.” Delphine took this as her chance for interruption, “From an embryo.” They’re still in the open, but this is there chance to begin the discussion, before embarking on the long trek into the city.

Scott grins, his eyes almost glazing over, “Cool.”

“I heard you studied genetic engineering?” Delphine tries to draw this back to the professional, they need to get to work. As soon as possible. Cosima’s declining health. The little one stirring inside of her. All point to needed this surgery completed as quickly as possible.

“Oh yeah.” Scott nods agreeably, “I can do that. It’s just constant ‘reprogramming’, it’s not that hard. But we’ll need a lab.”

“We’ve got one.” Cosima grins now, “Cal’s arranged it for us. And it’s private...”

“So I’d only have to share it with you?”

“And Delphine.” Cosima waves her arm with a flourish. “How about it Scott?”

“So...when do we leave?” Scott offers, “I think Cal offered to find me a new place since they moved me again.”

“Today.” Delphine responds firmly. There’s no sense in delaying this any further. Not when Cosima’s life is on the line.

“Seriously?” Cosima looks over at her mouth open, “It’s such a long drive.”

“Seriously.” She responds to Scott’s glee and Cosima’s exhaustion.

**

“So this is it!” Cosima announces happily, of course their lab had to be on the upper floor of an old warehouse, with stairs.  She wonders briefly if this is on purpose, if Sarah and Cal have selected this location to make it more difficult to get into. But it wouldn’t just discourage her as her pregnancy progressed, it would make things difficult for Cosima as well.

Scott looks at them briefly, before inserting the test tube containing the still frozen embryo into the scanner, “Where’d you get the embryo?”

“DYAD.” Delphine answers quickly, looking through the crate of newly arrived supplies. How did they manage to bring this many things in so quickly? Or was this bigger than she thought. A smuggling ring? Warehouses of supplies?

“Don’t worry Scott... it’s just organ growing. Don’t get too excited. You’re not making superman or super attractive hairless woman with neck-down alopecia, yellow eyes and ... err other weird enhancements.”

“Hairlessness is not relevant.” She interrupts only to look between the two of them again. She’s starting to wonder if it will be difficult to keep them both on task.

“Well it is if you want to go into the social pressures and the patriarchy and the commodification of the human body...” Cosima seems to be on the verge of launching into a rant.

“It’s not neck-down alopecia,” Scott explains missing the point, “It’s creating an androgen insensitivity so that body hair simply never grows... which you can only do in females without compromising… Nevermind we’re making lungs, right? Not some ...woman?” 

Cosima pats him on the back as she slides up on to the table.“Yeah. Just the lungs Scott.”

“Good... cause the embryo is male. XY.” Scott informs them, hunched over his monitor,  
“It looks fine. I don’t see any problems on this end. Okay, so we’ll need a blood sample from Cosima so someone can do some preliminary HLA matching before I start tweaking it.” 

“What? Why?” Cosima turns to him, “I mean it’s... it should be a match, right? Delphine said it should be a match.” Of course Cosima didn’t want to discuss how she and her ‘donor’ were related.

“We want to ensure it will be a good match.” Delphine reassures her, a hand gripping her shoulder, “If we have to alter it slightly to increase its chances of being accepted by your body, then we will.”

“Good thing I like know a guy...” Cosima reaches forwards to ruffle Scott’s hair, who scowls in response.

Perhaps these two were friends after all, Delphine muses, there seems to be some sort of camaraderie between them.

“So, you have an artificial womb?” Scott asks as he returns the embryo to cold storage, going to sort through the various equipment.

“I was thinking we could rig one. I do have the artificial amniotic fluid...” There had been no way to steal one of those from DYAD, but hopefully whatever they had was enough.

“Well that could work but we’ll need a membranous inner wall for the placenta...” Scott thinks quietly for a few moments, “And a supply of blood and other feeding fluids.”

Cosima blinks rapidly, “Placenta? It’s just lungs...right?”

“We’re already on it.” Delphine assures him, ignoring her partner’s questions, for now. It’s better they don’t get into it too much. Not until the process is underway. She’ll address it then, after all, it’s not that different than embryonic research she’s seen before.

“We are?” Dreads swing quickly as Cosima looks back at her in surprise, putting another scanning device down on the closest table.

“Growing organs is a little gory.” Scott waves it off, “Like vestigial organs and placenta gory, while we alter the genome so only the lungs mature, little organs are needed to support them until they can be implanted in the recipient.”

“Oh… I kinda thought it would be all… artificial.” Cosima reaches for the words with her fingers, gesturing it out, “Not like… mutilated fetus.”

“Oh artifical sustainment is never as successful. Way more complications, better to-” Scott stops as he realizes he is completely irrelevant to the conservation.

“Not a fetus.” Delphine interrupts quickly, “Just lungs.” After all, it’s important to make the distinction.

“Might be kind of weird for the pregnant lady….” Scott alters his expression after a quick look at her eyes, hard and threatening, “Or not... “ He backs away to continue setup of the equipment, leaving them to stand near the freezer alone.

Cosima finally speaks freely, “It’s more involved than I thought.” Her eyebrows raise. It’s obvious her lover is uncomfortable. More genetic engineering. More creation of ‘clone’ material for… well this time there was a good enough reason.

She resolves to calm Cosima down, “It’s not a simple procedure, ma chérie, but this is what we need to do.”

Her lover cringes slightly, “You know what this is, right?”

“Saving your life.” Delphine answers curtly. What else would Cosima want? It’s just an embryo. It isn’t important to her at all. Maybe she simply refuses to see the connection between this embryo and the fetus gestating in her womb, if Dr. Li had decided otherwise the places of these two...potential persons would have been reversed. But they are not, and this has always been the plan, Delphine reassures herself silently, waiting for Cosima’s response.

Cosima grabs her hand to get her attention, “You really want to do this?”

“Yes.”

“What if you want another kid down the road?” Cosima hisses under her breath, so Scott will not overhear her.

“I won’t.” Delphine assures her. Especially not without Cosima… The chances of losing her were too high already. She chose Cosima. Every single time. Delphine reflects, and she must continue to do the same. Prioritize Cosima’s needs over some hypothetical future.

“But are you sure?” Cosima looks deeply into her eyes, as if trying to read something. Conviction? Remorse? There was no way to tell what her beloved was actually looking for.

Delphine knows she cannot think, cannot pause, must simply answer, “Yes.”

“Okay…” Cosima shifts her weight, “Damn. Can we like get a couch in here?”

“Yes… I’ll ask Cal. Shouldn’t be a problem.” Scott calls over from the table, “If you get me the blood sample today I can start working on altering the embryo to make it more compatible. The sooner the better, right?”

“Yes... “ Delphine answers more strongly this time, “I’ll draw the blood sample now, and then I will try to set up the artificial womb today.” Embryo, why does he have to use that word? Why can’t they just call it the sample?

“Wow.. that’s fast.” Cosima nods.

“It has to be,” she reassures her, “You are stable, mon amour, but we need this done quickly.”

“How long will it take?” Cosima looks to Scott instead.

“Depends. It will take a few days to make the changes to the embryo.” Scott shrugs.

“Can you stop calling it the embryo?” Delphine raises her voice slightly without meaning to, “Nevermind. It’s fine. Let’s get to work.” It’s not a shout. But it’s probably harsher than any tone Cosima has heard her use before.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Cosima wraps an arm around her, kissing her cheek. She can hear the raspiness of her breathing. Feel her own child fluttering around. There isn’t enough time. She calculates it in her head… it is going to be very very close.

“I’m fine.” Delphine assures her with a few sweet kisses to her lips, “I need to get at that crate.” She points towards the back wall, it had arrived overnight and she’s hoping it will have enough of what she needs.

“How long?” She hears Cosima corner Scott when he begins to set up their computers, the technology side of things.

Scott fumbles, “Err… well.. we can accelerate tissue growth but we need the resources. I’m thinking… Adult lungs? 25 weeks. Give or take. It’s… it’s not an exact science and I don’t even know what I’ll be working with.”

“Any sooner?” Cosima pushes back.

“We could use adolescent lungs… probably. Maybe 20 weeks?” Scott suggests hopefully.

“20 weeks…. Delphine will be like… really pregnant then… fuck.” Cosima considers, “And we still need to find a surgeon.”

“Why is your girlfriend pregnant?” Scott asks Cosima quietly when he thinks she’s out of range. But she can hear. She’s not banging things around, rather setting up efficiently and quietly.

Cosima sighs, pressing her hand to her forehead, “Because she is, okay Scott? Just like leave it.”

“Right…” Scott nods, “So who is she? She’s… she’s not what I was expecting to find with the resistance. That education? Immunology expert?”

“Not you too!” Cosima responds with a groan, “Delphine is on our side, okay?”

“Okay.” Scott seems to accept Cosima’s word more easily than anyone else. Maybe she’s found at least one possible ally.

**

She falls asleep against Cosima’s shoulder before they've returned to the farm. Scott had stayed behind, renting a room and making arrangements for himself to stay in the city. It would probably be another few days before they could go back themselves.

“Hey…” Cosima kisses her forehead softly, “Wake up you..”

“Hmmm?”

“We’re back. Good thing I was driving.” Cosima laughs and then has a brief coughing fit.

She finds herself instantly awake, instantly moving towards her love, even as the fit slows and stops altogether. The only evidence Cosima’s heavier breathing and the smear of red against the back of her hand.

“Auntie Cosima!” Kira runs towards them, a small lantern dangling from her hand, “You’re back.”

“Yup. I’m back kiddo.”

“Mommy said you’re going to move into the city.” Kira grabs Cosima’s hand as she climbs from the vehicle, letting the lantern swing with the other.

“Umm we’ll have to. To be closer to the lab.”

“Your aunt will still visit you, Kira.” Delphine places a hand on the child’s shoulder in what’s intended to be a comforting gesture.

“Oh I know.. I just like having us all here.” Kira smiles, “Today we raced all the way from the river to the yurt.”

“Hmmm?” Cosima prompts tiredly.

Kids playing the woods, sounds pretty sweet. But this resistance, Delphine knows already, is far from passive agrarianism. Even if parts of it seem that way.

Delphine turns towards Kira when she switches, grabbing her own hand in lieu of Cosima’s, “What about the rabbits?”

“What about them? They’re fun. I get to help comb them sometimes.” Kira volunteers, “But they aren’t really shedding much right now. It’s too cold.”

“It is pretty cold,” Cosima offers, “We’re probably just going to go eat and then get to bed.” She ruffles Kira’s hair, much the same way she had Scott’s.

“Aren’t you cold?” She regards the child again, no gloves and she’s skipping towards the yurt, it’s remarkable how much Kira looks like Cosima. She has to remind herself that Kira looks like Sarah and Cal, but at the genetic level what is the difference? Why is Sarah fertile? Was Kira a fluke? Or could she have others?

“I don’t get that cold.” Kira shrugs, “I have a hat on.”

“Maybe I should get one.” Delphine suggests playfully, letting her arm swing in Kira’s grasp.

“I think there was one in the basket.” Cosima pales moving to open the door to their own yurt, “I don’t think we ever finished putting the crap away… want to help us, Kira? I think there’s some cookies and muffins in there. I’ll get a fire started, and Delphine here can help you find the good stuff in that basket!”

But the little girl has been distracted by something else, “It looks like someone bit your hand.” Kira comments, lifting up Delphine’s right hand to get a better look.

“Kira, maybe that’s not the best thing to say...” Cosima hints uselessly to her niece, the light in the yurt shows the scar clearly. Cosima had never asked about it, even seeing it the first day they met.

“Someone did bite me.” Delphine confirms with a nod and a kind smile towards the child. There was no point lying to her.

“Who bit you?”  Kira asks again, still not relinquishing Delphine’s hand as she peers closely at the scar, a perfect line of whitened teeth marks.

“Another clone-sister, like your mom and your Auntie Cosima.” Delphine answers simply. She hadn’t thought much about that clone since meeting Cosima. And why should she? The subject is probably deceased.

“Mommy!” Kira bellows in response out the door and her heart stops. What has she done wrong? Sarah will not be pleased to see Kira in here with the two of them.

Cosima observes her in total disbelief and Sarah runs over, huffing to try to figure out the nature of her daughter’s distress.

“Kira?” Sarah calls as she jogs the last few metres towards the guest yurt.

Kira grins at her mother, delighted, “I think Delphine found Auntie Helena!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Sorry.

“What?” Sarah looks between them again, “What did she say?”

“That there’s another clone like you that bit her.” Kira says nonchalantly, “Are you going to go get her?”

“Kira, bed, now.” Sarah looks back towards the main yurt, “Go. Your dad will tuck you in.”

“But mom!” Kira rolls her eyes, “Auntie Cosima was going to let me have the cookies.” 

“Go.” Sarah points, looking stern enough that Kira quickly scurries out the door, looking back only once as she runs home.

“There’s another like us?” Cosima blinks, “Why didn’t you tell me the biting clone was from our batch.”

Delphine answers semi-honestly, “It didn’t seem important.” It hadn’t, not when she assumed that clone was now dead. What was the point bringing up a dead clone? There had been nothing to do. Why torture Cosima with the knowledge?

“Not important?!” Sarah hollers, “That’s another one of our sisters. How could you think that wouldn’t matter to Cos? Or me?”

“Whoa, Sarah, let’s just...” Cosima lets out a long breath, “give Delphine a chance to explain herself.”

“You are from a discontinued batch,” Delphine starts, trying to keep her voice firm and steady, cool and professional, “Off the grid clones from discontinued batches were not usually kept on.” 

“What do you mean ‘kept on’?” Cosima’s accusing her now, “Do you mean kept alive? So... Helena is what? Being experimented on? Dead?”

“I don’t know.” Delphine answers quietly, “If that clone was Helena, I haven’t seen her since she bit me.”

Sarah screams, “What do you mean you don’t know?”

She’s stunned, unable to do more than blink, to look away from Sarah. Even Cosima’s eyes are shocked, though they do not seem as furious.

“I think we need a family meeting.” Another nearly identical woman steps into the room, perfectly coiffed and sporting bangs.

 “Shit, Alison, I said stay out of it, yeah?” Sarah groans.

“No... I will not stay out of it.” Alison approaches Sarah, pointing menacingly at her, “And honestly, you two are fighting so loudly over Cosima’s girlfriend that what else I am supposed to do?”

“What are you even doing up?” Cosima props herself up off the couch, “Don’t you like go to bed at nine?”

“I was feeding the rabbits.” Alison shrugs off the accusation, 

“At this hour?” Sarah scoffs. “You were snooping.”

“Ever since she arrived,” Alison turns her aggressive pointing towards Delphine, “You’ve kept me, and my family, on lockdown. In our own home! It’s not fair.”

“Woah... no you’re not going to pin this on Delphine.” Cosima jumps into the fray, positioning herself between her sisters.

Sarah groans, “We agreed. We keep the DYAD bitch out of it.”

“I never agreed to that.” Cosima pushes back, invading Sarah’s space.

It was so strange, Delphine thought, to watch the three clones fight. Her lover and her sisters. So alike and yet so different. All so very human. She doesn’t bother to fight the bitch remark, there’s no point. The more she looks at them the less they look alike. More like identical triplets, the epigenetic and environmental differences more obvious to her by the minute. The bickering continues, though it’s obvious they are still hiding something from her.

“And I never agreed to keep me and my children out of sight.” Alison throws in, “This ends now. So what if DYAD knows we exist? Apparently they have Helena, so they already know... They don’t know where we are.”

“You’re the one who made the basket.” Delphine says it as she realizes it, looking this, rather uptight woman over.

“Yes.” The three answer together, before Sarah groans again.

There’s nothing else for her to say, “Thank you.” It doesn’t seem like much, but it is a common courtesy, extended towards another of Cosima’s sisters who seems, at the very least, to hate her less.

“See? Someone appreciates it!” Alison turns the same finger towards Delphine, stabbing towards her as she continues to stare at her sisters.

“Delphine and I are going to move into the city.” Cosima repeats from earlier, “We need to be closer to the lab.”

“Scott can stay at the lab.” Sarah brushes her off.

“Oh...so you’re trying to keep the brilliant immunologist out of the lab?” Cosima groans at her sister.

“Sarah... I don’t care if we let Cosima’s new fling in the lab or not.” Alison throws out, gritting her teeth.

“Fling?!” Cosima flips to face Alison. “Delphine is not a fling.”

“Well, Cos...” Sarah shrugs at her, “What else can we call her?”

Alison shushes both of them, seemingly becoming more and more unhinged, “I just want no more lockdown. I mean, there is no way that Delphine thought that you made the sweaters.”

“Or the muffins.” Cosima added, with a tilt of her head and a somewhat inappropriate sheepish smile.

Sarah grits her teeth, “I don’t care about the bloody muffins. This is about security. You haven’t read her file. Cosima refused to read it.”

“You refused?” Delphine finally speaks, feeling that there is at last an opening in this strange family drama.

“Yup.” Cosima nods her response affirmatively, “I just didn’t feel right about it.”

“Or you were scared it would ruin things.” Sarah suggests offhandedly, “We can’t trust you.”

“I gave up everything,” Delphine emphasizes her words, “Everything to help Cosima. My job. DYAD. My cottage. My life. And I took her away to keep her safe.”

“Well, that’s just not enough.” Alison tells her simply, “You’re not one of us.” 

Her heart sinks. That is something she cannot change.

**

Cosima had shooed her sisters out shortly, after, making a point of making them both a quick dinner. She’d handed Delphine a muffin and set to work.   Maybe Cosima was right, maybe they could deal with this tomorrow. The conflict with Sarah and Alison. The entire resistance, or so it seemed, wasn’t going anywhere.

“You alright?” Cosima finally dares to break the silence, setting a bowl of noodles in front of her, before sitting down across from her behind her own.

“Non.” Delphine breathes, staring at her bowl of noodles, smothered in peanut sauce with mixed in vegetables.

Cosima winces, “Is it what Alison and Sarah said?”

“Will it never be enough?”

“Don’t know.” The brunette leans to the side, resting a hand against her own face. “I mean, Alison is way uptight. And Sarah’s pretty stubborn when she sets her mind to something.”

“Sounds familiar.” She teases, her somewhat forgotten hunger back in full force.

“I really hope it’s the stubborn part.”

“Why didn’t you read my file?” Delphine matches the tilt of her lover’s face. Was it simply the projects she worked on? Her history? How much did they know? Was there really anything that bad?

“I figured everyone is entitled to some privacy. Plus, I mean, you already ruined your own career. It’s completely overrated as blackmail material.”

She giggles unable to help herself, taking another forkful of noodles, slurping them into her mouth. Wondering if that is all. Or if there is an element of fear. If Cosima is frightened of what she may find out.

“So you were hungry.” Cosima comments, “I knew you were lying.”   
She remembers this conversation, “About not being hungry?”   
“Don’t hide your needs from me. I mean you can like cook. Or get food. There’s no reason not to feed yourself.” Hands gesture towards her and it’s all so light again. So easy.

“Do you trust me?” It sounds almost like a plea. If Cosima doesn’t trust her, doesn’t love her, what hope do they have?

Cosima stops for a moment, chewing before responding, “Yes.”

“Why?”   
“Well... I mean, not completely. I mean I trust you with my life, but like... I don’t know what else you did for DYAD. I know you believe we’re human, we’re equal. And that should be enough for the resistance.”  Cosima shrugs, returning to her food again.

“And Sarah?”

Cosima brushes her off with a genuine smile, “Oh... Sarah doesn’t like anybody. Except like Felix and Kira... and well us.” 

“Us as in the clones?”  

“Yup.” 

“What about Cal?” 

“Sometimes I guess...” Cosima pauses, “Their relationship isn’t exactly steady. I mean it’s been better. Or it’s seemed to be.”

“Because they have Kira?”

“Yeah... without Kira I don’t think they’d bother as much with each other. I mean, Sarah likes him, but she’s not... as tied to him? Does that make any sense?”

“And Alison has children too?” Family, she remembers that word.

“Oh yeah... Adopted children.” Cosima clarified with a genuine smile, “Two of them. Oscar and Gemma. And her husband, Donnie.”

“Adopted.” Delphine muddles through the thought. She hasn’t seen much of that in her bubble near Leda 4.

“Yeah. Happens. You know... people can’t or won’t take care of their own children. Alison’s had them both since they were pretty little.” Cosima explains openly, “Oscar is nine, Gemma is six.”

“Is there anyone else?” She asks cautiously, though she assumes having seen Alison there’s little reason to hide much else from her.”

Cosima shakes her head, a bit sadly, “Not here.”

“But there were? Or are others?” She lets her mind reason it out, Alison will need the injections too. But the effects on the clones might be variable; she certainly has her work cut out for her now. Curing this.

“Delphine...” Cosima sighs, “I mean, I think you know enough for now.” 

“For now.” She agrees half-heartedly, returning her attention to her noodles. She is ravenous, as much as she tries to deny it.

Less than an hour later, she lies next to Cosima in bed, wide awake, her mind racing through possible scenarios. Clones. Cures. Babies. Disasters. Resistance. Helena. DYAD.

“Hey...” Cosima lifts her head off her own pillow, peering forward in the shadows, “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She responds, unsure of what else to say. She’s in way over her head, with everything. Impending motherhood. Cosima. Cosima’s family.

“Hah... your belly is poking out.” Cosima looks down to where her tank has ridden up, exposing the firm mound of her belly.

“It does that now.” She responds dryly.

Cosima smiles back at her, “Is the tiny human like moving around?” She has no idea where Cosima has found the lightheartedness for this. Is it purposeful? Merely a chance for stress relief? Or a need to be closer?

“A bit.” She responds, feeling more of the same light motions. She’s been enjoying it more than she thought she would have, but wishes once again that she and Cosima could be safe and alone together to enjoy it. Or just to enjoy each other outside of the growing list of complications.

Cosima’s hand immediately goes to the surface, pressing lightly, “Shit... can’t feel it yet. I guess it’s too early?”

“Soon.” Delphine promises, covering Cosima’s hand with one of her own, “Soon you’ll be able to feel it.”

She cuddles in more closely, pressing a sweet kiss to Cosima’s cheek.

“We should both get some sleep.” Cosima mumbles tiredly, her hand still resting against’ Delphine.

She hums her response, and finally lets exhaustion claim her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to twig-height and cophinaphile for taking a look, providing feedback and beta reading.

“No!” Cosima’s voice rings out clearly, “Can’t it wait just a while longer?”

“You knew this was coming Cosima.” Mrs S? Delphine thinks sleepily, opening her eyes. The sun isn’t even up yet.

“But...” Cosima seems to struggle for a moment looking for an excuse. “Please, you can’t like grill her.”

“Can’t?” Sarah laughs, “Shouldn’t, maybe.”

“You’re really going to torture a pregnant woman?”

“A pregnant woman who knows where Helena is? A pregnant woman who was Aldous Leekie’s lover? She’s... read her file, Cosima. You brought us a DYAD scientist, and you think we’ll just sit on our hands?” Siobhan brushes her off. She can hear papers sliding, probably towards Cosima, just out of her view.

What was in this file of hers anyway? Delphine already knows that she made some questionable choices. Worked on some ethically dubious projects. Used any means at her disposal to advance. Her mind. Her body. It had made no difference to her… then.

Unable to deny what awaits her. Delphine quickly scrounges for some clothes and dresses herself. If they are going to lead her off somewhere, at the very least she wants to be clothed. She hears more papers rustling, maybe Cosima is reading up on her after all.

“Sex work?” Cosima asks quietly.

“Sort of.” Siobhan shrugs, “Security footage hints at it, but it cannot be proven either way. However, her involvement in the following projects can.”

After a short silence, her lover speaks again, “Well... Felix does sex work. So what?” 

“For his own income, or for the resistance.” Sarah clarifies, “Not on the request of Aldous Leekie.”

Delphine bristles slightly, she had not done that. With Leekie, yes. Perhaps that counted, somewhat, she acknowledges reluctantly. But renting herself out for DYAD on his orders? No. She would have refused. She’d dressed for events, for meetings, but had always been professional. Cool. Distant. Where had they gotten this information?

“Other sources suggest some sort of super-human project. Your girlfriend’s name is tied to it.” Siobhan tries to calm Cosima, “We simply want to extract the information from her.”

“Will... will I get her back?” Cosima asks.

Delphine crouches down, as much as she is able to, near the bed. She certainly doesn’t want to alert them that she is awake. But she’s not going to let herself be tortured either.

“You want her back?” Sarah scoffs, “Cos, read the file.”

Siobhan silences the girls with a wave of her hand, “It remains to be seen. If Dr. Cormier cooperates with us, there’s a chance we can find a use for her. If not?”

Cosima’s hands wave wildly, “You two have like seriously lost it. I would not be here without Delphine.”

“And for that,” Siobhan lays a kind hand to her shoulder, “We are grateful.”

“I need her to grow the lungs.” Cosima protests weakly.

“That’s what you have Scott for.” Sarah brushes her off.

“Scott can engineer them to grow. If we’re talking antigen matching? Or artificial growth, we need Delphine.” Cosima asserts herself calmly, but her hands did not get the memo.

“You can do the science thing. I don’t care about your girlfriend! I care about my sister.” Sarah tells her flippantly, “We’re just going to tie her down and inject her. You know, writhing in pain, screaming, then we’ll see what she’ll say.”

“The ... no. Not that... Come on, Sarah.” Cosima pleads, somewhat half-heartedly, “Who knows what the drug of yours will do to the baby. Or to Delphine.”

Drug? Delphine thinks, moving to crouch next to the bed, in the loft she should be practically out of view. For now. But... what was this? To cause pain? Hallucinations? What would it do to her? Would it cause her to spill all her secrets? To ruin her mind? Sabotage her child’s brain development?

Siobhan cuts in, “Not when we could knock out this super human project. All we need is the information.”

“Not the drug. It could scramble her brain. Both their brains.” Cosima repeats, “Just, like, do something else.”

“It’s a fetus, Cos...” Sarah scoffs.

Siobhan considers, “The risk to the pregnancy is acceptable.”

“Well,” Cosima starts with a shrug, “If you fuck up Delphine’s brain, she won’t exactly be able to help us.”

Delphine finds herself smiling, Cosima will stop this. Cosima will not let this happen to her. To them? Should she refer to herself in the plural now? Her life is intrinsically tied to another. And Cosima’s as well, in the greater scheme of things. Could Scott manage the growth and transplant on his own? It’s possible, she acknowledges, but she would feel safer being the one to carry it out.

Sarah throws back, “Help us?”

“Help me. Unless you want me dead?” Cosima responds flippantly, “Not worth the risk. Plus, damage the baby and Delphine will never cooperate with you.”

“How do you know?”

“Just do.” Cosima responds confidently, “No more blood on your hands, okay? Just... let it sit. Or... fuck, like coerce her some other way that won’t damage the kid, or her brain.”

“So... you will let us apply persuasive pressure to her.” Siobhan surmises quickly, “Interesting.”

“I’d really prefer you don’t.” Cosima answers honestly, “I might get a lot less cooperative if you do.”

“What do you do?” Sarah jabs at her verbally, “Smoke pot and sometimes help us with the science shit?”

“I won’t let you drug her.” Cosima crosses her arms, staring down her sister.

“I’m not sure if we’ll need to.” Siobhan assures, with a hand to Sarah’s shoulder, “Let’s bring her for questioning and see.”

Sarah snarks, “Oh ... so what will we use as the interrogation chamber? Alison’s craft room?”

She wants to laugh, but resists the urge, instead walking calmly down the stairs facing them.

“Delphine...” Cosima turns to face her, “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” Delphine answers after a moment’s consideration; no need to give them any more ammunition. What was she willing to give up? And more importantly, what was she willing to lose?

**

The ride to the city is drearier than ever before. Even with Cosima’s hand clutched in her own in the backseat.

“I’m not going to leave you.” Cosima mumbles into her ear, “I’m going to stay...”  
 Even Cosima’s presence won’t be enough. She cannot permit them to inject this drug. Whatever it is. She was never heavily involved with pharmaceuticals, but her brain runs through a list of possibilities. There were military applications for several drugs she can think of. All with intensely unpleasant side effects, some that could leave the recipient a human vegetable. Though such extreme side effects weren’t common. DYAD had some in storage, she had known that much. But it was for testing, improvements, and it had nothing to do with her, or her work.

“Where are we going?” she asks uselessly into the silence of the vehicle.

No one will answer her, not even Cosima, who does nothing but stroke her hair and murmur reassurance she doesn’t need.

What she does need is a plan. What is she going to tell them? If she doesn’t permit them to interrogate her as they see fit, will they even believe whatever she tells them?

She’s abandoned DYAD, but is any information she has of any use at all? 

She thinks again of the telepaths, she doesn’t know where they are, or who their surrogate parents will be, it shouldn’t be enough information for the resistence to find them as infants. Perhaps later on…

Isn’t her own life, her own child’s life worth more than that? She cannot protect everyone, and she’d happily sell out Aldous, if she had anything worth saying. 

“We’re here.” Sarah announces gruffly. 

It’s a small metal shack on the outskirts of the city. If one can call it that. Delphine enters reluctantly, followed by Cosima, trailing Siobhan and Sarah down a set of narrow metal stairs.

“What is this place?” Delphine asks quietly, there’s no point in posing this question to anyone but Cosima.

“It’s where they’re taking us?” Cosima volunteers, “I had no idea this place even existed, I thought this was just storage.”

At the bottom of the stairs is a door, leading to a long room, with fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling.   
What vaguely resembles a gurney is located closer to the far end, next to a small table with a series of sharp implements, and one capped syringe. She feels herself tense in response. A few simple fold out chairs are leaned against the closer wall. It’s cheaply made, even the walls appear to be metal, and it’s cold. 

The gurney, if she can call it that, is equipped with fabric restraints for her limbs, and appears to be mechanized to maneuver however programmed. 

A man stands next to it, “So this is her, then?”

“Yes.” Siobhan answers, “This is the DYAD scientist.”

“Alright, you want help getting her tied up?” The man approaches, looking her over carelessly. 

Delphine is certain that he is about to seize her and muscle her into the restraints when Cosima speaks up.

“Aren’t you forgetting something Sarah?” She pointedly looks at her sister.

“Right. No drug.” Sarah tells the man firmly, “We’ve decided against it.”

Delphine swallows, but doesn’t let her fear show through. She doesn’t even reach to Cosima for comfort. Merely acknowledges the situation.

“What?” The man throws back, “Why? I have it all prepped. It’s easier.” 

“She’s pregnant.” Cosima barks harshly, “Risks to the fetus. No drug.”

The man considers looking them over, “How do we even know she’s really pregnant?”

 It’s Cosima who moves first, grabbing the hem of her sweater and quickly hiking it up to reveal her belly. “Does this prove it?”

“Umm yeah.” Sarah nods, “Well that was interesting. Tie her up.”  

Cosima releases her, allowing her sweater to cover her again. There’s not exactly embarrassment, Delphine realizes, but it’s the first time someone other than Cosima, or a midwife had seen her bare belly. 

“Seriously Sarah?” Cosima intercedes on her behalf again, “Is that really necessary?”

“He thought so?” Sarah shrugs jerking her thumb back at the large man standing behind them.   
“He’s the professional ‘pain-technician’ here. I’m letting him make the calls.”  
The so-called, ‘pain-technician’ grabs her roughly by the shoulders; Delphine is too consumed plotting out her next move to resist, and moves easily.

“I’m making the calls.” Siobhan reminds them.

Delphine finds herself roughly pushed against the contraption, it certainly doesn’t feel like a gurney now, all white painted metal, and barely padded plastic. Her arms are secured first, two bands per limb, all with metal buckles that are tightened enough to leave marks.

“S…” Cosima pleads, “Come on…”

Another large strap goes across her midsection, also tightly fastened.

“Don’t S me, tie her up.” Siobhan waves off Cosima concerns. 

“Who is he?” Cosima inquires again.

“Hired gun.” Siobhan shrugs, “He doesn’t care, so he’s perfect for the job.”

Once her legs are secure, the man approaches a panel nearby, with a few entered commands the entire contraption moves, slowly raising her feet until they are level with her head. Flat on her back, Delphine muses, well it could be worse. 

“Why are you here?” He spits out, looking down at her, “You’re some DYAD scientist. Why are you here?” Her boots are tugged off quickly, and discarded along with her socks. 

He probes the nearby table, picking up a simple scalpel, running the blunt edge of it along her foot, before slicing skin quickly, letting it bleed.

She doesn’t cry out, even as the restraints hold her tightly and her feet raise higher. Delphine runs through her options, she knows nothing of Helena. Or even if the clone that bit her and Helena are the same person. Is there something else she could offer them? She feels the same odd flutter within her, her baby is most certainly awake and moving yet again. Probably oblivious to their current situation, but cortisol and adrenaline will raise in her own system, sustained stress hormones would have effects she cannot permit. 

“You know that already.” She’s becoming annoyed with them now, not only are her restraints starting to irritate her, but even without the drug she’s intensely uncomfortable. The risk of having this strange man cut up her feet if she doesn’t tell them what they want is irritating. Her foot still stings.

He speaks again, voice calm and low.“Tell us. Why? What do you want?”

“Why are you here? What do you want?” Siobhan repeats after the man, “Tell us what you want.”

“Cosima.” Delphine throws back without really thinking of it. It’s true certainly. But probably not the answer they were looking for.

She can tell Cosima is smirking from across the room, next to Sarah, even if she cannot see her right now.

“Seriously...” Sarah groans.

“The only reason I am here is for Cosima. I got her out of DYAD, I escaped with her, and this is where she wanted to come.” Delphine throws out, keeping her voice as steady as possible, “I fell in love with Cosima. I want to be with Cosima. So I stole her cryo tube and took her.”

“I don’t care about your relationship with Cosima!” Sarah threatens, “Give us something useful, or I’ll give him something to do.”

Delphine can no longer see them, she cannot make out anyone but her torturer, even then with the blood rushing to her head, she tries to strain to see Cosima. After all, she has already made her decision, she made it ages ago. “This isn’t necessary,” Delphine insists, looking behind her ‘interrogationer’ towards Siobhan and Sarah, “I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“Yeah right.” Sarah responds flippantly, “Everything? It’s never everything with you people.”

“Can we like not keep her upside down like that?” Cosima offers meekly, but is ignored by everyone else.

Deciding to continue, Delphine goes on, “I was recruited to DYAD about five years ago by Aldous Leekie. I was a medical doctor at the time, I completed my PhD in immunology as an employee. From nearly the beginning, Dr. Leekie and I had an arrangement. He wanted to have sex with me, it came with several benefits including access to experimental research and a high security clearance. I agreed to it.”

“Okay…” Siobhan nods, silently signally both Sarah and Cosima to shut up.

“I worked for DYAD for years. Mostly on the Gemini Projects, the clones. I worked on antibodies, and immune systems. I was trying to design a batch to be completely resilient to disease - as some humans are simply naturally immune to some, only all for all illnesses. When that batch was done, and my dissertation defended, I did more day to day work. Monitoring test results, taking blood samples. I did a little transgenics work, focusing on improving organ donation outcomes. The project was largely unsuccessful, I transferred back to Gemini. Mostly serving as physician, but I continued my research. I also worked in the medlab part-time.”

“We don’t need your entire career history.” Sarah complains, “Tell us about Helena. What about her?”

Delphine sighs, “Can you please lower my feet?” The blood rushing to her head is becoming an annoyance. 

A few moments pass, before Siobhan gives the signal and she’s flat on her back once again. The restraining system is uncomfortable, but survivable when she is not held at an awkward angle. Delphine takes a few deep breathes, she’s sure that her feet are going to go numb, but no scalpels have come near her feet again. Hopefully the cut was just superficial, though she will have to check it.

“Thank you. I do not know what happened to the clone that bit me. I don’t know if she was your Helena or not. She was from the same batch as you and Cosima. That’s… that’s all I can say.” Delphine offers.

“Why Cosima?” Siobhan throws out suddenly, “If you were working for DYAD for years, and Cosima was just one of many, why her?”

“I fell in love. So deeply in love. I noticed her right away, reading a book, swinging her legs from the exam table. I couldn’t help myself.” Delphine smiles inappropriately. “Cosima was fun, and intelligent… and sexy,” she adds on a whim. “I have never been so aroused or so satisfied in my life. I cannot get enough of her… when she touches me-”

“That’s enough!” Sarah interrupts, “I’m not asking about your sexcapades with Cosima. Give me something I can use.”

Delphine decides to get this over with as quickly as possible, “The superhuman project is telepaths. I worked on it briefly while Cosima was in cryo. They’ve already shipped and been implanted. I don’t know anymore than that.” Everything was compartmentalized, surely they must be able to understand she had little contact with the implantation teams. No knowledge of their precise locations.

It’s Siobhan that breaks the stunned silence that follows, “Are they clones?” 

“Non. Genetically engineered humans. All unique. Multiple genetic parents. Resistant to disease. Hopefully… telepathic.” Delphine finishes, keeping her voice as steady as possible. She leaves out her own biological relationship to the subjects, hopefully they will not be found. They’re not even finished gestating. 

“Okay. Are you willing to provide us with their locations?”

She responds flatly, “I don’t know.” It’s true, she’s unaware of precise locations. Everything at DYAD was so compartmentalized. She could guess certainly, she knows what clinics the embryos were sent to. A handful of planets or systems. But she’s being honest, she does not know where the parents are residing. Though, Delphine admits inwardly, it probably doesn’t make a difference. They probably wouldn’t believe her.

“What about Helena? Where would they have taken her?” Siobhan tries again.

“I don’t know!” Delphine exclaims again, her foot once again firmly grasped in a large hand. 

“That’s enough!” Cosima interrupts. “Delphine has just told you enough for you to spend the next three years digging into these telepaths and their purpose. Let’s stop this.”

 

“Cosima…” Sarah tries to comfort her, a hand to the shoulder, “We need to know what happened to Helena.”

 

“She doesn’t know.” Cosima groans.

“She’s probably dead.” Delphine says as Cosima pushes the man out of her way, beginning to loosen her restraints. The cut in her foot is stinging terribly when she moves it, is there even any disinfectant here? Was the ...tool clean at least? 

“I doubt that very much.” Siobhan laughs a humourless laugh.

“They don’t keep old batches around, not this batch, they’re too… dangerous.” Delphine decides on the word. Intelligent would have fit as well, but right now she has no intention of paying Sarah that kind of compliment.

It’s Sarah that cuts her off shaking her head, “Helena and I are twins. Same surrogate mother. Started life as one embryo.”

 

Cosima’s released her arms now, permitting her to sit up to face them. Delphine observes Sarah closely, “You’re monozygotic twins?” 

“Yeah. That’s what I said.” Sarah shakes her head, “Anyway, since I could have Kira. There’s no way they’d kill Helena.”

“I still don’t know.” Delphine repeats. A fertile clone most certainly would not be killed. Aldous would want her studied, observed, possibly bred.

“What would they do to her?” Siobhan asks gently, paying the man, who simply begins to gather up his tools. Totally undistressed by what he has done.

“They’d probably study her. I think…” Delphine lets out a loud exhale of breath as Cosima probes her foot gently.

“Sorry.”

“I think Aldous would breed her. As to where they are keeping her?” Delphine shrugs, “I didn’t have access to his private lab, but they weren’t keeping Helena with the other clones on Huxley Station. She could be at another facility. Or… maybe in Syl on Leda 4.”

“Keeping Helena contained is a full time job.” Cosima laughs, “You think they’d honestly manage to keep her?”

 

“Or… “ Delphine reaches, “She could be in cryo. That’s the best I can do.”

“That’s not good enough!” Sarah insists.

“It will have to be.” Cosima cuts in, once again shoving herself between the two of them, “Delphine has told you everything.”

“Unless you want to know Dr. Leekie’s favourite drinks and sexual positions.” Delphine offers dryly, wincing as Cosima slips on her socks and boots.

“Yeah, let’s not do that.” Cosima insists, “Delphine and I are free to go.”

“Fine…” Siobhan agrees, “Have her write a written statement on all this, I’m not sure how good the recording will be.”

“Recording?” Delphine turns to Cosima, “Where was the camera?”

“Above you.” Sarah tells her impatiently, “Fine, you and your girlfriend can head back home with S, and I’ll…”

“No.” Cosima insists, “Take us to the lab. I’m not going back to your stupid farm until I have your word that you won’t try this again. No more torture. No more threatening Delphine or her pregnancy. It stops. We have a lot of work to do, and this? This is a waste of time.”

**

There’s a couch in the lab now, Delphine observes happily after reaching the top step. Even though it still looks like an abandoned warehouse from the outside. Scott, or Cal, seem to have done a lot here.

“Oh good, it’s a pull-out couch.” Cosima quickly removes the cushions, maneuvering out the hidden mattress. 

“Can you get me some disinfectant? I need to get a better look at my foot.” It’s better to focus on something she can control. She’ll do this, and then set up the artificial womb, test it before they start the lungs.

“Yeah… are you...like okay?” Cosima reaches to rub her neck gently, but she swats her off.

“Not now.” Delphine sighs, “Just… get me the disinfectant.”

“I… I didn’t want them to torture you. But the injection would have been so much worse.” Cosima pleads, “I… I had to bargain something.” Her hands move towards her, as if they can explain this failure.

“You stood there and let him cut me.” She’s not even truly angry, just disappointed. She picks up the small spray bottle and spritzes her foot lightly. It stings for a moment, but it doesn’t seem to be a particularly deep cut, though it will be painful until it heals.

“I know.” 

“Who is really on my side here, you? Scott?” Delphine’s gesturing now, “I have to be able to trust you Cosima. This… this cannot happen again.”

 

“I won’t let it. We’ll like stay here at the lab until we find a place in the city… I don’t know how long it will take though… and there’s like no kitchen…” Cosima winces, “Maybe I’ll con Scott or Cal into bringing us our stuff… We’ll make it work for now.”

“Okay… Help me with the artificial womb?”

“Of course.” Cosima moves to hug her, burying her face in Delphine’s neck. “I love you… you know that. I never wanted them to hurt you. I hoped they wouldn’t when I brought you here. I figured since you like saved me, they’d just give you a free pass. I’m sorry.”

 

“I know. Je t’aime aussi.” Delphine strokes dreadlocks absentmindedly. What does this resistance really want from her? And is it even something she is capable of?


	8. Chapter 8

“I want you now...” A low voice wakes her from sleep, a warm mouth captures her earlobe, teasing it with the hint of teeth.

Delphine blinks blearily in the dark as Cosima slides over her. The ugly green pull-out couch shifts slightly with her weight. She’s unsure what time it is, for all she knows it could be morning, but the alarm she’d set had yet to go off. They must have some time left, she assumes.

“Now...” Cosima insists, pulling her into a kiss. She pushes forward, still on her side, allowing her lover to claim her lips.

It has been her, every morning for their last three days in the lab, wanting to do the exact same to Cosima. And yet, she’s resisted. Quashed her urges and concentrated on the science, they’d barely touched in days. Even with the nights tossing and turning attempting to get sufficient sleep. It’s amazing she’s managed to sleep at all, the pull-out couch had not proved the most comfortable resting place. And yet, Cosima’s stubborn streak continued, she’d refused to return to the yurt. Even insisting that Alison bring them their things.

Cosima had been thorny towards her sisters, and the resistance on the whole. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that Cosima was being purposefully difficult, in as many ways as the small brunette could think of.

The lab was a mess, they’d managed to tuck a small amount of clothing out of the way in a few cupboards, and food prep was difficult at best. How much longer this would go on she couldn’t be sure. Would Cosima cave? Delphine wasn’t even sure what the end goal was, whether it was exacting an apology or some other kind of retribution.

She wasn’t sure she’d trust an apology, or any other ‘gifts’ from Cosima’s sisters. But, guiltily, Delphine knew that Cosima had been in equal or greater peril with her near Leda 4. Was that it? As a former DYAD employee she’s nothing but the enemy? A pawn in some kind of greater power play?

“Cosima...” She breathes between insistent kisses, feeling Cosima’s surprisingly steady hand gripping her own and dragging it down. Delphine moans, she cannot deny wanting this. Any thoughts of Scott accidentally coming to the lab early are extinguished by her love’s warmth pressed to her hand. And with them, her doubts, her considerable worries that she and Cosima are on shaky ground.  Her hand is held firmly against Cosima’s sex, the message made very clear in moments.

“Take me... Take me...” Cosima repeats, moving her hips into Delphine’s hand, trapping it against her.

It’s faster than she expected, but she doesn’t resist, fingers moving to work against Cosima’s desire with practiced ease. Delphine moans happily, adjusting her body to lean against Cosima’s, her lover’s free leg over her waist leaving her enough room to work.

“Harder...” Cosima insists, her voice low and hips jutting towards her, trying to force her inside. Unable to deny that her tiny love is wet enough, she pushes in gently, starting a slow, steady rhythm that she knows Cosima enjoys. She finds herself whimpering at Cosima’s heat, unable to help herself from getting lost in it.

“Please, Delphine, harder...” Cosima’s groaning now, hips trying to set a much more ambitious pace than she’s truly comfortable with.

Delphine is hesitant, Cosima is not well... Even now, her breath is raspy and uneven, her lungs barely able to handle the stairs to the lab without coughing. Too often there is a smear of red on her hand after making the climb. 

“Ma chérie...” She tries to placate Cosima with a kiss to the cheek, keeping her fingers thrusting at their cautious pace. 

Cosima switches tacts, moving her hands to cling tightly to her shoulders, “Give it to me.” She pleads with her, whining, even as she watches her react to their steady movements.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Delphine shifts closer, fully awake now. She doesn’t want to break this couch either. How much strenuous activity could it withstand?

“You won’t.” Cosima insists.

“The couch...” Delphine hisses quietly.

“The couch will not break.” Cosima groans in frustration, grabbing her wrist and guiding the rhythm.

When she finally pushes herself up on her knees, fingers slipping free as she maneuvers herself over Cosima, the couch creaks ominously beneath their shifting weight. The new scab on her foot feels tight, but it’s not impeding her from doing this. Nor has it affected her work.

“Cosima...” She pleads wincing, “I think the springs are going to snap.” The couch is old, its squeaking enough to make her want to stop. Or at the very least, take Cosima very gently, in hopes it doesn’t collapse beneath them.  

“Ignore it. Get back inside me.” Cosima insists, grabbing her harder, grinding her hips upwards.

She acquiesces, entering her lover more firmly, adjusting position again to start a deeper rhythm. For a few moments it’s pure delight, her rounded belly brushing against Cosima’s flat one, the desperate noises escaping from her beloved’s lips, the responding ache between her own dripping thighs. Delphine tries to ignore the creaking, to gentle their movements, but Cosima won’t have it.

“Fuck me...” Cosima whines pitifully, even as beginning to tense around her digits. As if she could forget that Cosima is sick. Or that they’re in the lab. But she lets herself, just for a few moments. She coughs slightly, but manages to stop it, for now.

“Comme ça?” She teases, speeding up, pressing deeper, more forcefully.

She’s rewarded with a throaty moan, Cosima tossing her head back, voice catching with each thrust. The creaking intensifies and the bed lurches slightly, but she knows innately she can bring Cosima to her peak within moments, easily.

“Ohh.” She sighs, kissing Cosima’s neck as she tenses, grabbing at her roughly enough to bruise. Delphine eases up, slowing down as Cosima comes down, muscle unclenching and flopping back against the thin mattress with yet another rattle from the pull-out.

“Oh... I thought we were going to break it there for a second.” Cosima coughs despite her laughter, faces inches apart as Cosima comes back to herself. The dreadlocked clone is grinning and smiling at her, trying to catch her breath. If there’s any blood, Cosima quickly wipes it on the sheets.

Delphine frowns, “We cannot break the couch.”

“Come on...” Cosima sticks her tongue out at her playfully, “I know you’ve been wanting this.” It has been days, longer than they’ve ever gone without, while Cosima was not in cryo.

“Why do you want to break the couch?” She’s shaking her head at Cosima, who is all smiles and giddiness again. So charming, Delphine thinks to herself, but so much trouble.

“Well,” Cosima tells her reluctantly, “I don’t really. But if we do, they’ll just have to replace it for us.”

She cannot deny that, instead she moans deeply as she sits up. It’s getting lighter out, but she feels... playful.

“I think it will probably hold.” Delphine decides, bouncing slightly to the same noises as before. Loud, but not as dangerous as it had seemed.  But this wouldn’t do much longer, they need a real place to live, even temporarily.

“In that case, turn around!” Cosima urges happily.

Delphine laughs, taken aback, “You want that?” She couldn’t remember an encounter with Cosima where they hadn’t been facing each other. Was it the pregnancy? Was it simply easier to ignore that way?  Or is the novelty factor? Was their sex already routine?

“I just want to lean into something that’s not baby.” Cosima explains sheepishly, with a shrug.

She sighs, but obediently, she turns around, allowing Cosima to lean into her back. The warm weight of Cosima is soothing, her hot breath, one hand already roaming along her side.

“Plus your back is like really sexy.” Cosima murmurs, dropping her lips to her closest shoulder blade.

 “Do you like it like this?” She breaths out, is this just variety for Cosima? Nothing is as new to her as it is to Delphine. Is she no longer an addict for the simple touch of their bodies?

Cosima moans happily in response. “Mmmhmm.”

Cosima’s hips thrust into her pointlessly for a few minutes, but her body responds, pushing back into the pressure. Their height difference annoys her for a few moments, her lover’s mouth too far away to kiss. Hands freely explore her body, hips, breasts and rub at her belly accompanied by a nip to her skin from behind.

She squeaks, not expecting the sting of teeth, “Come on...” She begs, pushing back more firmly. If she has to put up with the couch protesting under their weight, she wants more to show for it.

She’s expecting Cosima to reach around her body, but instead feels fingers enter her from behind. It’s not as stimulating for her, but perhaps her beloved is simply trying to draw things out. To tease her.

“Oh yes...” Cosima’s grinning into her back, liberally painting it with kisses, hips rocking with her vigorously thrusting hand. Cosima certainly seems to be enjoying herself, delightedly adding a third finger as she continues, panting, rasping, but holding steady.

“Mmm.” She hums, dropping her upper half to the bed, rocking easily with Cosima’s movements. Delphine is aware she’s almost zoning out, though on some level she’s certainly enjoying the penetration. Her mind spins. Lungs. Artificial wombs. Torture. Her unborn child. Cosima. Cosima’s lungs.

Cosima’s chin nudges her, “hey, where’d you go?”

“I’m here.” She promises, trying to return to this, to this moment.

“Talk to me...” Cosima insists, almost drowsily nuzzling into her back.

“Je t’aime...” Delphine answers distractedly, shifting her one hand down between her legs, trying to finish this. It won’t take much, it never has with Cosima, especially since becoming pregnant.

Cosima nips her again, “How does it feel?”

“You’re deep inside, you’re being... rough with me.” Delphine murmurs instead, letting her hand fall back against the thin mattress, giving over control for now.

“Is that good?” Cosima’s free hand cups her belly, rubbing lightly before sliding further down, towards dripping curls, towards her fast approaching release.

“Oui.” She lapses back into French, unable to translate her thoughts much further, “T’es si profond. Dédans moi...”

“What else?” Cosima encourages her, her voice a low rumble. Fingers parting her to work in unison with her other hand, sending sharp jolts of pleasure through her body.

Je veux jouir, Delphine thinks, a couple minutes before she crashes over the edge, crying out loudly. Unsure of what she’s even saying, only sure that Cosima eases out to lay down next to her once again. She could go again, but Cosima’s rough breathing makes her stop, instead tugging her lover’s freed arm around her body.

“So hot.” Cosima sighs contentedly, spooned up behind her.

“Why rough?” She opens one eye to peer curiously at Cosima.

“Well... why not?” Cosima shrugs, glancing warily at the door, “Plus you’re like so wet and so needy all the time-” 

“Not all the time.” Delphine, answering almost too quickly. It’s a half-truth at best. She’s easily aroused, and needy. But she refuses to admit that it is all of the time.

“Fine.. but I thought maybe, that would satiate you better?” Cosima tries to soften the words with a lingering kiss to her neck.

“You do satisfy me. All the time.” Delphine sits up suddenly at a distant metallic sound. The stairs.

“Shit... We better get dressed.” Cosima quickly rummages around for her clothing.

They manage to be dressed by the time Scott opens the door, but the young man seems oblivious to the passion he had so nearly interrupted.

“Hey Cosima... so I’ve done the base growing sequence for the lungs, and I’ve started the coding for the enzymes and the nano-tech.”

“Cool.” Cosima nods, quickly moving to wash her hands before.

“Wow... you two slept late.” Scott nods, “So we start it today?”

“It’s 8:30!” Cosima shakes her head at him, looking back over her shoulder at Delphine wrestling the pull-out back into couch mode.

“Yes.” Delphine answers, “I’ve just got to finish changing the sample’s antigens.”

 “Whoa...whoa...” Cosima flips around, dreads swishing, “I thought you said it was a match.”

“Yes…” She starts her answer impatiently, “But this will make it so your body cannot possibly reject the lungs. It’s almost done now.”

“You should take a look at the DNA comparison, it’s pretty cool.” Scott agrees.

“Right...” Cosima’s brow furrows, “We talked about this already. HLA matching.”

“Yes, for the transplant.” Delphine finishes with the couch and moves to grasp her hand gently, it’s nearly ready to be put in the artificial womb. The device now sits in a secluded corner of their lab, sectioned off by a thick black out curtain to keep out the light. Roughly the size of a large bucket, the artificial womb is transparent and tinged red, the inner lining mostly made of synthetic substances, but a large segment to the side, blocked off by a permeable barrier is already filled with feeding fluid, mixed with a small vial of Delphine’s own blood. Scott had suggested that they use Cosima’s, but she wouldn’t permit it.

“It should implant no problem.” Cosima muses, “It took us long enough to get the artificial womb together... oh how’s the amniotic fluid coming?”

“It’s coming,” Delphine brushes off the concern, soon enough she’d be finished with that. She places the sample back into Scott’s hands, “Here is the last alteration. Do you require help implanting it?”

“No... I’ve done stuff like this before.” Scott assures her, “It won’t be a problem.”

“All his work was only with embryos...” Cosima adds under her breath.

 “At least I have experience.” Scott reminds her, “You’ve never been hands-on with genetic engineering.”

“I’ve done a little.” Cosima pouts defensively.

“Either way,” Delphine smiles gathering a bag from the corner, “There’s something I have to take care of.”

“Do you want company?” Cosima offers immediately, to a look of a total exasperation from Scott.

“No... help Scott, get the embryo ready for implantation tonight, run a test cycle on the artificial womb.” 

She slips out the door and down the stairs before either Cosima or Scott can stop her. The stairs aren’t difficult for her yet, and it’s certainly easy to hear people coming. The worn grey metal siding makes their lab look much more like a warehouse. Although she’s never seen the lower floor, she assumes it’s storage for the resistance. Her lab key doesn’t permit entry, no matter how she turns it. A metal key, the very idea was ridiculous, and yet Delphine was forced to cling to it like a lifeline.

The town isn’t much, and though it takes her about 20 minutes to reach downtown, she immediately begins looking for anything that seems like it might contain a rental unit. She has the money, she could certainly rent a small apartment for years to come if necessary. Though since her torture she has harboured a small but resilient fantasy of escaping with Cosima and her baby, once Cosima was well and the three of them could travel.

There are a series of stores, not far from the outdoor market or the hospital. She looks carefully, the upper levels look like they may contain living quarters. Or storage... either way it’s possible some contain apartments.

 The first two shops she enters, a small grocery and a pharmacy turn her away. The owners live above the shops and neither has any excess space. Renting seems to be uncommon, many people owning their own homes. There are multiple doors outside many of the shops, some seeming distinctly residential, so she keeps looking.

The third shop is full of fabrics, and what she assumes are mostly synthetic wools. It’s full of crafting and sewing supplies, an older man with grey hair sitting near the back of the shop on a high stool. The buzz of a sewing machine fills the room as he works on what appears to be altering some kind of garment.

“Good morning.” He greets her, not looking up from his work, “You need something fitted?”

“Do you know of any apartment rentals?” Delphine asks, glancing around the small shop. A tailor? It seemed to be a multipurpose store at any rate. She’d never had the patience for crafts or sewing, and is inept, even at a simple a task as sewing on a button.

“We have a two bedroom upstairs, kitchen, bathroom, living-dining area.” The man tells her, looking up and observing closely, “You looking for a place to live?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods, “Can I see it?”   When the man shows her, it’s obvious it has been sitting empty a long while. Though there are still appliances in the kitchen and washroom, it’s devoid of all furniture, except a few piles of boxes no doubt containing even more material. The wood flooring is coated in a thin layer of dust, but it’s serviceable. If she can get it clean enough...

“It’s not much, but it’s fairly cheap. 400 credits a month. Just going to be you and the baby?” The man eyes her carefully. He looks almost frail, but is quick on his feet getting up and down the stairs.

“No, I have a friend. She’s sick... She’ll be taking the second bedroom.” Delphine fibs slightly. Certainly, setting up one room with equipment for Cosima’s care as she worsens and after her surgery will happen. Until then, she admits privately, Cosima will be sharing her bed.

“Ah...” He nods, unlike most of the men here, Delphine notes, he’s clean-shaven. “I don’t want strange men coming in and out at all hours of the night. That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“No, sir.” Delphine answers honestly, “There will be no men.” Is he concerned about her running a brothel out of her rooms? Or is this some strange antiquated concern for propriety?

He regards her thoughtfully for a moment, “What do you do?”

“I’m a doctor.” Delphine tells him simply, leaving out particulars. “Or I was... then I came here.”

“You’re not from here...” He nods thoughtfully, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes.

“Non.” She nods, “I’m not. But I need a place to stay, at least until after I have the baby.”

“A year?”

“Probably.... I’ll pay for a year.” Delphine offers, remembering to barter, “But this is worth... say 300 credits a month?”

He smiles at her, “Yes, that will do nicely. I’ll even have my nephews clean it up for you. Move in at the end of the week, when the shop is closed?”

“That will do fine. Is there anywhere else I could rent a room in the meantime?” Delphine looks the man over. He seems harmless enough, and the apartment is in decent repair, with its own entrance right next to the store’s.

“There’s rooms for rent in the large blue house next to the hospital. But... the clientele is a bit rough.” He shrugs. “They offer hourly rates, so be careful.”

Maybe they’re better off in the lab after all, until they can get into the apartment.

Her mind begins to picture it, a large bed and a crib in the larger bedroom, the smaller one set up for Cosima’s recovery. Could she hire a nurse? Would it become necessary? Or would she be able to continue to care for Cosima herself? When would she become unable to lift her? To administer medications? 

Though she is forgetting something, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name.”

“Tom.” The man smiles, reaching out his hand to be shook.

“Delphine.” She answers, firmly shaking the man’s hand, pleased at the genuine smile he gives her.


	9. Chapter 9

It doesn’t take as much convincing as she’d anticipated, Cosima readily accepts the offer to rent a room. Quietly she pulls Cosima out of the way, hovering by the door to their lab as they whisper, keeping their voices from reaching Scott’s ears.

“Turns out we did break a couple springs.” Cosima winces slightly, even as she grins at her.

“I’ve found us an apartment. It will just be for a few days.” Delphine tells her seriously, “How go the tests?” she adds, loudly enough for Scott to hear. Though how they will manage to furnish their new place is still uncertain, she’s confident that something will materialize. Should she budget tightly? How much of her funds will be required to proceed?

“Artificial womb is functioning and should be able to accept the embryo,” Scott stumbles correcting himself, “the subject for implantation.”

“Good. Let’s do that now.” Delphine rounds the tables and half-unpacked equipment. “Let’s get it in and growing.”

Cosima’s head tilts to the side, observing her closely. “Already?”

“Oui.” She nods simply, “Scott, get it in.”

“I’m on it.” Scott smiles.

“Will... will it take? I mean, is there a chance it won’t?” Cosima breathes gently to her.

“Yes.” She admits instantly. There’s always a chance of failure. Greater with artificial wombs than with human uteri. But this will take, it has to. Synthetic hormones, synthetic lining, her own blood mixed with the artificial feeding fluid.

“Do I want to ask the percentages?”

Delphine shakes her head again, not wanting to delve into it. There were so many variables. Of course, they could attempt again if it did not take immediately - an advantage to this particular artificial method.

She wants to do it herself. Delphine realizes as she’s moving towards Scott, pulling the instruments from his hands before she’s truly processed what she is about to do. It doesn’t make sense.

“I’m sorry.” Delphine hands the syringe back, the catheter still threaded and the... sample still awaiting injection.

“I have done this before.” Scott assures her, “Really simple, just thread it in. Very simple procedure.”

“And we have the blood supply ready, it’s good to go.” Cosima assures her.

Still, she holds her breath. Why must so much depend on a tiny cluster of cells? It’s darkened and tinted and she’s certain she doesn’t breathe until Scott has inserted the sample.

“Well, hopefully we’ll have lungs. I’ll need to monitor it and make sure it’s maturing as it’s supposed to.” Scott elaborates, “Introduce programmed bacteria and enzymes, but it doesn’t need that much maintenance. A few hours a day. If that.”

“Good. Good.” Delphine smiles, trying to conceal her concern as best as she can.

“Great, so ... there’s this thing we’re supposed to do.” Cosima offers, “They’ve managed to get their hands on some DYAD research, notes shit like that. We’re supposed to go through it. Cal can’t make heads or tails of it.”

“Is Cal a scientist?” 

Cosima waves her off, hands moving once again. “Engineer.” She moves off to concentrate on other equipment, as if she doesn’t want to look too closely at the artificial womb. Fear? Disgust? She can’t be sure.

“Yeah.” Scott nods, “He’s pretty smart. But genetic engineering goes over his head. They’ve been making me go through the files... but it’s a mess. We rarely get anything official.”

“Where does it come from?”

“Sources. Some of it we buy.” Cosima hesitates, “some of it comes from Leekie’s sex workers. Like if they can steal something, we’ll pay them for it.”

There’s no answer she can think of to that, so she simply gives a strained smile and returns to work.

She cannot hear anything below them. The warehouse, or whatever it is, is probably nothing but storage. Delphine tries to mentally tally the number of trucks she’s heard, it cannot be more than two in all the time she’s seen the lab. Do they load only at night? What are they keeping down there? She knows she cannot ask Cosima, she’s still on the outside of this resistance. 

“Hey, more supplies.” Cal knocks, but enters without waiting for a response. “I’ve gotten you a few boxes, might be useful.”

Cosima glances into the box, before beaming up at him. “Awesome. Artificial feeding fluids. Samples. Bacteria...”

“Where did you get this?” Delphine reaches into the second box. These materials, these pieces of equipment, are extremely expensive.

“Delphine, you don’t want to ask that.” Cosima’s hand squeezes her shoulder lightly.

“It’s stolen.” She surmises easily. It’s obvious once she’s begun to think of it.

Cal shrugs. “Think of it more as ‘fell off the back of a spaceship’.”

There’s nothing more to say, Cosima and Scott help her pack away the samples, freezing anything that requires it and set up the new equipment. She doesn’t check the lungs, Scott wanders over twice and seems pleased by the progress. And maybe that’s enough for now.

“Cosima,” Delphine calls softly, urging Cosima closer. “Do you think that Cal could procure a surgeon?”

“I don’t see why not.” Cosima seems to consider her words with her entire body moving slightly. “I mean, there might be one on the southern continent, or we could import one from another colony. Someone who does transplants... I mean you have the money.”

“We’re going to need to.” Delphine considers, the lungs will take a couple months to grow to sufficient maturity, they’ll need to have the surgeon here when the process is nearing completion. They’ll have to examine Cosima and be ready to conduct the transplant as quickly as possible.

“I’ll mention it to them.” Cosima nods. “We’ll get someone here.”

“Good.”

“Oh... yeah, there’s like a meeting at Felix’s tonight. They’re all going to be there and umm, Scott and I have to go.” 

“Do you have to?” She begs slightly, trying to reach Cosima without saying it. Will someone show up to abduct her in Cosima’s absence? Is that even a concern now?

“Umm yeah. We do.” Cosima shrugs, “But, like, we’ll get the room thing set up for you first. And I’ll just join you later.”

There’s no point in denying her annoyance. How deep was Cosima truly in this resistance? Was there any way to extricate her? Was there even any point in trying?

“Alright.”

“Wait... renting a room?” Scott cranes in behind her shoulder, “You better be careful about that.”   
“We will be.” Delphine assures him. “It’s silly to stay on a couch in the lab.”

She and Cosima are adults, they’ll be safe enough here. It’s not even a sizable town.

“The only place I know where to rent rooms is near the hospital,” Scott tries again, “and it’s not families of patients they’re typically renting to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Delphine closes down the conversation. She can maintain some control, as the most senior scientist, of this lab. Neither Scott nor Cosima possess a doctorate.

“You’re the boss.” Cosima tells her with another winning smile. And that much is true. In the lab, she is.

Hours later, after helping a cranky, coughing Cosima down the last few steps she knows, everywhere else in this world, she’s a pawn.

They find the blue house as promised, and its somewhat suspicious clientele, before they rent a room, and climb up a flight of stairs to find their door. She’d requested something out of the way, at the back of the house, so they’d overhear the minimal amount of traffic. To her relief, the room is much like any middle-of-the-road hotel she’s ever seen.

 A happy noise escapes Cosima, as she flops down face first against the mattress. “This might actually be nice.”

Her heart seems to expand at the sound. Delphine eases herself down next to Cosima, rubbing her back. “Are you hungry? Tired?” 

“Stop mothering me.” Cosima groans from her place on the bed.

“Alright.” She nods, should they go attempt to find food? She hadn’t seen a single restaurant in her previous explorations. But there must be at least one, Delphine reasons to herself.

“You know,” Cosima starts carefully, “you have to be on our side.” 

“I am on your side.” Delphine tells her hastily, placing their bags in the corner of the room. It’s only for a couple nights, and it’s clean. That should be enough for them. Any activities going on around them can be ignored.

“Our side.” Cosima reiterates. “And before you start, it isn’t because I need them to like you, or even trust you. It’s because you have to be... do you understand?”

When she finally responds her voice is a lot smaller than she’d hoped. “Yes.”

“Let’s go eat,” Cosima rolls over, smiling at her, drawing her into a slow tender kiss like they’d just spoken about nothing. “Hey, mirrored ceiling!” Cosima remarks after shifting away from her.

She looks up to confirm this for herself and giggles a little despite herself, “Come on, we need to eat and get you to your meeting.”

It’s the hours after that are difficult. Lying in bed, a hand against the swell of her belly, listening for the sounds of some unknown possible kidnapper. 

Instead she hears the muffled laughter and moaning and grunting and all manner of noise pollution. Just a side effect of having this particular room for the night. It’s not terrible, Delphine reasons, it’s just human. Whether it’s prostitution or whatever it is, it’s too loud for her to hear much else. 

Occasionally she hears footsteps stumbling up and down the stairs, she tries to listen, wondering if she could even pick out Cosima’s footsteps if she had too. After a couple hours, she has become good at drowning it out, ignoring what she doesn’t want to hear or think of. 

She reads a little, immunology papers on transplants, pregnancy books, it doesn’t seem to matter. Nothing distracts her from this solitary waiting. Eventually she turns off the lamps, curling up in the bed, it is much more comfortable than the pull-out couch. At least she should be able to sleep better, in theory.

She should sleep. She should be able to sleep. Instead her mind lingers on the meeting, on Cosima, on the resistance. Everything she cannot control. The lungs… She has to distract herself somehow, and a small flutter from within reminds her how. And of yet another worry.

Instead, Delphine counts the number of times she feels her child move inside her, how much longer before Cosima can feel it? She wonders if that will bond them closer, if she should put more effort into trying to make them a cohesive family unit of three. Or will it simply happen naturally? Somehow she thinks Sarah will not be thrilled with that turn of events. 

The door swings open unexpectedly.

“You’re still up?!” Cosima remarks, shaking her head as she turns around to lock and bolt the door firmly shut.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Delphine admits with a shrug. How long had she been laying here in the dark?

“Because of the meeting? Or because you missed me? Can Dr. Delphine Cormier no longer sleep without me as her big spoon?” Cosima teases joyfully, stripping her clothes off, flinging her sweater and her pants quickly onto the floor.

It’s easier, Delphine acknowledges, to let this go. To let Cosima tease and cuddle her, kiss her neck and make a rather feeble, sleepy attempt at seduction. And so, she does, though Cosima falls asleep within minutes, snuggled into her back.

It’s only then, as she’s drifting off, that Delphine realizes. Perhaps Cosima was right.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Sorry folks.

Delphine wakes later than planned, the sun already high in the sky, snow beginning to fall. She shivers slightly under the blankets.

She hears a muffled groan from Cosima, as weight shifts behind her on the mattress. Delphine is far too comfortable for a moment or two, it seems this place is dead silent in the morning. Odd, Delphine muses, she thought the light would have her up long before now. The uncovered window next to the bed has seemed to do nothing to rouse either of them from their sleep.

"Are you awake?" She reaches out to touch Cosima's face, carefully adjusting position.

"Nooo..." Cosima rolls over away from her, burying her face deeper into the pillows.

"I have somewhere to be," Delphine leans forward just enough to leave a small kiss where neck meets shoulder, to a little hum from her beloved.

"Mmm too sleepy." Cosima mumbles from her place on the bed. Why is she still so cute? Delphine wonders. Haven't they slept enough? Or is this illness related? She glances at a clock, it's nearly time now.

"I have to go to the midwifery clinic... so I am going to go alone then." Delphine tells her as she pushes up from the bed, and immediately begins to dress herself.

"Shit... Shit... That's today?" Cosima exclaims shooting up in bed,.

"You can stay in bed, if you want to." She shrugs. It doesn't matter, at least it shouldn't matter whether Cosima accompanies her or not. The tests will be the same either way. There's no time to check on the development of the lungs, perhaps sending Cosima straight to the lab could have that advantage.

"No no... I'm coming. Just like, let me throw some clothes on. Do you want to get breakfast?"

Delphine shakes her off. "We're going to be late."

"So what? Then we'll be late."

"I cannot miss this appointment Cosima, it's important." She finishes her sentence, by pulling a sweater over her head and reaching for her coat.

"You have to eat..." Cosima chides her, but she dresses and hurries after her. Cosima forces them to stop to grab a couple muffins from a vendor on the next street.

The still-warm baked good is pushed into her hands by Cosima before she can hurry her away.

The clinic looks much the same at it had the last time she'd visited, though earlier in the morning she did find herself hoping it would be quieter.

She enters, to find four women sitting in chairs, waiting their turn to be seen. One seems nearly ready to pop, her red hair unkempt and her youthful face tired. So young, Delphine muses, they all looked so young. It's impossible not to notice how young some of the mothers are. Their faces round, hinting that they have barely emerged from adolescence before becoming mothers themselves.

"Eat now." Cosima warns, easing herself down beside her on one of the chairs. The clock on the wall tell her that they are already late for her appointment.

"How much longer can this go on?" She begs Kendra, who enters the room with a small paper bag.

The midwife sighs, "You're not quite at term yet, Ruby. And your baby hasn't dropped yet. Another week. Maybe two."

"I can't sleep... it's awful. And all I can feel is him kicking me all night whenever I try. I can't lift anything. I can't work. I can't clean." The young woman begins to cry.

"And your husband? Is he helping you."

"A little. He sleeps like a rock. His head hits the pillow and he's out. It's so annoying. I don't think he wants a baby..."

"Okay..." Kendra lays a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I think we're going to have to have Daniel come with you to your next appointment." She turns to the desk, "I have another client to see, Avalon, can you take Ruby upstairs and sit with her?"

As the sobbing woman is led away by a young, dark-haired, sturdy midwife. Delphine stands. She tries not to think about the end of pregnancy, she hadn't seen any woman that advanced in general practice on Huxley Station, and it did look incredibly uncomfortable.

"Delphine." Kendra smiles, "I'll see you myself, is this your friend?"

"Yes." Cosima hops to her feet with a winning smile, "I'm Cosima."

"Excellent, this way please," Kendra smiles as she leads them both to the back room.

"You're very awake." Cosima comments between bites of her own muffin. Delphine looks down at hers, she's barely eaten any of it. She does have to eat, she makes an attempt to finish it quickly as they settle into the examination room. Three reasonable chairs, a desk and an examination table take up much of the room.

"Yes. I've been up a while." The midwife laughs, her greyed hair braided back behind her head, "I was up delivering a baby at two this morning. Little girl. Her mother's fifth. Very quick delivery."

Paper. They take their notes on paper. Delphine looks incredulously at her file. She'd seen a computer in the reception area, old, but perhaps that was the only one.

"Fifth..." Cosima comments instead, nodding politely, before stopping to chew on her leftover muffin. She supposed that was the reality for people here.

"Ah..." Kendra notices her eyes shifting towards her notes, "Can't rely on the tech out here. Goes down. Gets fried. We lose all our records. So we take hard copies. Of everything." She explains readily. "The computer is just for processing, like for credits. Occasionally we have to order from other colonies. Equipment. Things like that."

"So my tests?"

"Oh. Your blood and urine tests came back fine." Kendra grins, "Nothing to worry about. We do need a address for your file though. And a contact number."

Currently, she has neither, but she manages to give their future address and move-in date. It's enough to appease Kendra, for now. They go through the routine checks, how is she feeling, whether or not she requires a test for STIs, booking the next appointment, and finally, measuring her belly.

The midwife nods at the number and records it on the chart.

"Is it big?" Delphine asks, propping herself up on one elbow.

"No... everything looks good." Kendra reassures. "Besides, from my perspective, 'big' happens near the end."

"You look cute." Cosima says simply, hovering around behind Kendra, in a state of almost pseudo-involvement. Making comments, smiling, but mostly staying in the background and allowing Delphine to handle this.

"Are we done?"

"Nope." The midwife grins, "You're about twenty weeks now, so one more thing!"

Cosima's face shows no shock when Kendra produces a fetoscope for listening to the child's heartbeat, first finding it for herself, a smile breaking out on her face, before moving the earpieces to Delphine's ears to let her listen. Strange how such an old device can still be so effective.

It's quick, and she'd known fetal heart rates were fast, but it's steady. Reassuring and very alive. She looks over to Cosima, who is chewing on the last of her muffin. Is she bored? Or simply preferring to become too involved with this.

"There's your baby's heartbeat. All sounding good. Exactly what we like to hear."

Cosima simply nods and smiles at them, making no movement, or request to hear it for herself.

Delphine laughs, earpieces still firmly in her ears. She's sure that she's smiling like an idiot, but she doesn't care. Instead she reaches one hand up, to offer the earpieces to Cosima. Surely that would help bond them.

"Is that all? Cause I need to get back to work." Cosima interrupts the moment.

She hides her disappointment quickly, maybe it was safer this way. After all, how would these backwoods midwives look at them if they knew? Perhaps Cosima has a reason.

"Yes... of course." Kendra agrees readily. "You can go along, I'm just going to book my next appointment with Delphine. Please call the clinic and confirm your new address once you have moved. We will need to inspect it."

"Inspect it?" Delphine tugs her shirt and sweater down as she sits up, carefully moving to now sit on the table.

"Of course. We'll need to make sure it's set up for the birth."

The birth, of course. The clinic isn't set up for birthing here, at least that that she's seen so far. What will a midwife make of all the medical equipment she has already planned for the second bedroom? Of Cosima's surgery and recovery... if she can even manage to get her supplies.

"Delphine..." Cosima tries to get her attention as they speed towards the lab. Even for such a small town, it still takes time to get to the outskirts.

"What?"

"Are you upset about something?"

Is she? Delphine tries assessing her mood. She would have preferred that Cosima showed more interest in the pregnancy, if she had asked to hear the heartbeat for example. It's quiet, just so quiet between them now. What else doesn't she know?

"Non."

"Okay... you seem kind of frazzled. You were even shocked by the fetoscope."

"I had never seen one before. Only in books, or documentaries on health care in the outskirts." Delphine brushes it off, it's not important. It works, that is the important thing. As for what else they do not have here, it is not worth considering at this point.

"Okay... ummm we have to go back to the yurt tonight?"

"What?"

"Scott will stay over in the lab, babysit the lungs for us." Cosima pauses on the stairs to take a few long breaths. They've barely started the climb up the sturdy metal stairs.

She wants to hover, to press her hand to Cosima's back, to care for her, but knows that if she does Cosima will merely shrug her off and accuse her of mothering.

"Why do I have to back?" Delphine asks, "is there something from last night?"

"Yes. There is something." Cosima nods, but does not volunteer any additional information.

There may not be any point in pressing Cosima to tell her more, Delphine realizes, as she reaches the lab first. She swings open the door to find Scott sitting on the couch reading a long report.

"Hi Delphine. Hey Cosima." Scott barely looks up at them.

"What...what are you doing?" Delphine asks him. Why isn't he working on the lungs? Why is he just sitting there?

"Reading this stupid surveillance report. It's… their source has no understanding of science. At all. It's really bad." Scott winces, still reading the paper.

"But… the lungs…"

"They're fine. I already set loose the first round of programmer bacteria into the artificial womb. And topped up the feeding fluid. Growing organs isn't that interesting most of the time. I came back to the lab after the meeting last night." Scott stops to yawn. "It's under control."

"Ooh.. does that mean we can make moonshine in the lab?" Cosima adds in as she approaches them.

Delphine shoots her a look that clearly shows her opinion on that matter.

"Guess not… so lungs are coming along? Can I see? Or are they like photosensitive?" Cosima perks up a little.

Delphine warns, "I'd rather you don't." Perhaps later, when they are in fact mostly-lungs she'll feel differently about that. "I am going to take a look though, are you prepping them for accelerated growth?"

"Why? And yeah. We're trying to get them grown in a couple months, it's already accelerated." Scott yawns again, not bothering to cover his mouth. "If she wants to take a look. Not lung-like yet though, still looks like an embryo. Or it did three hours ago."

"How long until it's lungs? Or mostly lungs?" Cosima asks curiously.

"A few days." Delphine and Scott answer her together.

"But it's going to take a few months until they're ready." Scott offers, "I will be able to give you a better estimate of date in a week or so."

"Good." Delphine looks around for something else to work on. There's enough equipment here to test Sarah's, and even Kira's, genome against Cosima's. And she wants to, that's impossible to deny. Surely that would lead to the ability to create a new gene therapy, it wouldn't be entirely that different than engineering organs.

Only, Delphine smiles sadly, looking over at Cosima and Scott, that would never be permitted. Sarah hated her. Cosima, she could keep her alive, but without the help of her family what else she could do? She cannot help herself from laughing at Cosima and Scott, who were now in the middle of thumb wrestling over who would have to perform some strange task. How can she be so calm? Like nothing is wrong? Like nothing is happening?

Next, she knows, she must find a surgeon to perform the transplant. There is no chance that a suitable transplant surgeon operates out of the small hospital in town. There's another continent, she knows, but just in case perhaps she should run this through Sarah. Or Cal. Mrs. S is too intimidating to face on her own right now. And she lacks the contacts that this resistance force has built up. She's going to have to work with them.

Scott drives them both back to the farm, with their stuff.

"We'll probably sleep better." Cosima tells her, before falling asleep in the backseat, leaving her alone with Scott for the drive.

"Lucky you. I'll get there and have to head right back. I'll stay in the lab tonight." Scott volunteers.

"Why?" Delphine finds herself asking.

"Cosima's health is poor, and you're, well, you're pregnant. Can't be comfortable there." He shrugs and continues to drive, humming to himself ever so often.

It seems to take longer than before, there's not much to discuss with Scott. He'll talk about his schooling, about meeting Cosima, about the artificial organ growing he dabbled in. Nothing of consequence. He too, it seems, has been trained.

"If I wanted to get a surgeon here, and other medical supplies who would I ask?" Delphine interrupts randomly in a story Scott was telling about his cat.

"Cal. Talk to Cal." Scott says simply, allowing the drive to continue without further discussion.

They arrive in twilight, Scott quickly unloading their stuff, before picking up a couple crates from near the shed. All done in silence. Cal approaches, and waves them on into the yurt. Are they not saying anything to her now? What is this?

Cosima stumbles up into the yurt, pulling Delphine behind her. It's familiar, even if it makes her feel uneasy. Three sets of eyes meet hers, all very reminiscent of Cosima's. Even Kira's small ones as she leans against the couch, just looking at them crowded around the table.

Sarah eyes them, almost as if she's considering her options. She's unsure why Alison is present. To soften Sarah's demands? To seem more diplomatic? Perhaps, she simply insisted on being present.

"So you've found a place to live." Alison comments from her place at the table, "you can eat if you want, it was saved for you."

Cosima eats readily, which encourages her to do the same. She's not expecting poison after all. If they were going to do away with her, Delphine has come to expect something much more dramatic.

"Yeah," Cosima nods encouragingly between bites, "Delphine found us an apartment over this...tailor shop? Or something in town. We can move in this weekend."

"Good." Sarah finally speaks, "So… I want to know. How would we get someone into DYAD?"

Her first reaction is to scoff. "You can't."

"What do you mean we can't? There's tons of staff. Get someone in and like, working elsewhere or in maintenance…"

"That won't work." Delphine tells her simply.

"She's not sabotaging you," Cosima reads her sister between bites of stew, she shakes her head. "DYAD is like intense. I told you, everyone is chipped. It's all really official. It's not something any of your spies could access."

"Except Delphine." Alison motions towards her with an open hand, "Only… you said she can't go back."

"No. She can't." Cosima answers flatly. "You wanted her here, so at least listen to her."

"You'd need a science student. Or scientist. Someone to apply to DYAD, and then it's … it's half chance if they'll get in." Delphine responds, looking from Cosima's encouraging face, to the annoyed faces of her sisters.

"Chance?"

"We could like send Scott… I mean if we could get him in." Cosima laughs to herself, slumping back in her chair.

"Would it work?" Sarah asks her sharply.

"Yes. It could… but we can't lose Scott yet, not until the lungs are much closer to completion." Delphine is cautious not to say too much. Kira is drawing quietly across the yurt, but she's certain the child is aware of everything that is being said. It makes her feel safer, certainly they would not harm her in front of Kira unless she was actively a threat to the child.

"How long?" Alison and Sarah look to her together, "When will you know?"

"A few days." Delphine speaks after a hesitation, it seemed Cosima wanted to leave this to her.

"Cos, do you need anything?" Sarah asks, seeming almost gentle. Was this what Sarah was like with her sisters? With her child?

"Supplies… Delphine has a list. Bed, furniture. Medical equipment."

"A surgeon." Delphine adds, when they look at her with wide eyes she continues, "For Cosima's double-lung transplant when the lungs are mature enough."

"You can't do it?" Cosima turns to her hopefully.

"Yeah." Sarah adds in. "You're a doctor."

"No… I'm not a surgeon, Cosima. We need someone who has done multiple transplants. And… I'll be too pregnant by then."

"Right… add that one to Cal's list." Alison turns to her sister, "The other stuff should be easy enough for us to get… Donnie and I can take care of most of the furniture…"

"Yeah… just give Cal a list…" Sarah nods, looking at her sisters again, "Delphine, leave us… yeah?"

She stands, somewhat surprised to hear her name used in what could pass for a civil tone. "I'll go to the guest yurt."

"That would be best." Alison says curtly.

She has to wait, there's food around and she eats it willingly. Cosima is probably right about her not eating enough. The couch isn't a terrible place to wait up for Cosima. Delphine had made a fire in the woodstove, at at least it was warm, cuddled up in a blanket here, enjoying the small flutters her baby made whenever they felt like it. She's starting to wonder whether she had made the right decision in choosing to wait up when she hears something.

The soundproofing on yurts really is terrible, Delphine muses as she hears voices and two sets of footsteps approaching the yurt. One is definitely Cosima's. The other set is heavier, clomping through the light layer of snow.

It's Sarah's voice she can make out first. "She's pregnant. There is going to be a baby. Have you really thought about that Cos?"

"Yeah I know."

"You don't even want kids." Sarah hisses.

Cosima responds quietly, "I never said that."

"So your lover is going to have a newborn in about 20 weeks. Then what?"

"Yeah. So?" Cosima responds, Delphine can practically see her shrug through the wall. She makes no move to interrupt the sisters. Nothing to alert either of them to her presence, and through the wall, why should she.

"What is she gonna do then that's so exciting? Leak milk on you?" She can easily imagine Cosima's gruff sister rolling her eyes.

"Probably." Cosima agrees calmly.

Sarah shoots back, "While the kid wails?"

"Kira didn't cry a lot, right?" Cosima reminds her, "Babies have to sleep sometime. I mean, they like have to..."

"Yeah well." Sarah stops at what is probably the doorstep, "I'll go for now, but think this through Cosima."

"I have." Cosima shouts back. "My life. My girlfriend. My choice."

"I know you, Cos, I know what your taste in women is like. And your short attention span. Delphine is nothing but a liability." Sarah calls back as she's moving further away.

Is it true? Delphine wonders, is that what she will become if Cosima tires of her? Another liability? At the very least, her rational mind insists, she is a doctor. She could be useful to the resistance in other ways, if need be.

Cosima enters the yurt, careful to bar the door shut behind her before leaning down to slip out of her boots.

"So you heard all that." Cosima surmises quickly, looking at Delphine unmoving from her spot on the couch.

"Oui."

Cosima's closest hand immediately goes for her hip, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Non," Delphine shakes off the loving touch, "I want to go to bed."

"Alright… let's go to bed then."

It's finally quiet, crawling back into the bed here. There's nothing to be heard at all, except for the rustling of Cosima beginning to remove her clothes. It's not exactly safe, at least not for herself. But the yurt is so much more comfortable than the rented room or the lab. It is not, however, safe enough. Not if she cannot trust Cosima's family. Not if Sarah is trying to… divide them?

She sits, fully dressed on the bed. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Cosima's pulling her in by the shoulders, "Listening in? I don't care."

"I don't want you to feel disappointed."

"Disappointed? With what?" Cosima shakes her head, cuddling in closer to her lover.

"With me... with the life we're going to have...if things go well." Delphine cannot even bring herself to think of what will happen if they do not. There are always risks, with any experiment, with any surgery.

"Not at all... No." Cosima begins to kiss her cheek slowly, delicately. A hand coming up to smooth against her free cheek, lips finally dipping to her neck.

Once the worries escape, she cannot quite hold them all back. "I'm carrying your half-sibling and ..." Delphine stops, overly aware that her voice sounds too much like a sob.

"Shh, it's alright. Don't worry about Sarah."

"She's right. There's going to be a baby," Delphine responds distraught, "I probably am going to leak milk on you and sleep a lot and the baby will cry..."

Cosima reassures, "So we'll hold the kid and you'll nurse them, and they'll stop crying." Hands that are near constantly in motion steadily cup her face instead, forcing eye contact.

"But..." Delphine hesitates, surely Cosima must have some idea how much work an infant can be. Can she picture Cosima pacing around the floor with an infant? Just resting besides her when she's too tired for anything else?

"No buts. You know what?" Cosima grins, guiding her backwards onto the bed.

"What?" Delphine looks up at her, Cosima snuggled up to her on her side.

"You're mine." Cosima coos delightedly at Delphine, stroking her cheek.

Delphine smiles despite herself, "I am."

Cosima kisses her slowly, peeling back layers of fabric until she's bare from the waist up, kissing her swollen breasts, the firm roundness of her belly. She makes no efforts to undress her further, seemingly intent on lavishing affection on her. Reassurance, Delphine smiles at the thought, her own hand running along dreadlocks and down Cosima's smooth bare back.

She stops, a hand gently stroking along the curve of the bump, "And you're mine, too." She addresses the baby, before kissing sweetly there. Delphine was not expecting the tenderness, or the surge of arousal that flooded her at Cosima's words, at her lips against her skin.

"I'm not going to be the big sister, if we're doing this? I'm Mommy." Cosima looks up at her, hopefully.

"And I will be?" Delphine asks, a hand stroking Cosima's dreads gently. This pleases her, this at least, is promising for their future.

"Maman, of course. To _our_ baby." Cosima states decisively.

"Say it again." Her eyes close, and a delighted smile spreads across her face. Even here, she's unable to stop it.

"Our baby." Cosima repeats, laying a soft kiss against the swell of her belly, "Our baby," the brunette mumbles into her skin.

It's strange, even though she's certain Cosima's intention is to comfort her, to declare her affection and parenthood towards their baby, her body responds ardently. With each tender kiss pressed to stretching skin, even while Cosima walks her fingers across her belly playfully, tension gathers uncomfortably between her thighs. Any thoughts of tiredness and desire for sleep are replaced with vivid imaginings of other things that Cosima could be doing with that hand and mouth.

"Hi baby…" Cosima mumbles, "are you going to move for me?" Her hand smooths across her belly, in an effort to detect motion.

She doesn't want to interrupt Cosima, but when she begins kissing trails along her skin again she wants to squirm. She resists the urge to push her beloved's head down, she's not even fully undressed.

"What? What is it?" Cosima props herself up on a free arm to gaze back at her, eyes soft and questioning. She doesn't know, Delphine giggles briefly, Cosima hadn't noticed the effects of her attentions.

"Now... take me now..." She grabs Cosima's hand, dragging it down between her legs, tension suddenly unbearable.

There's a slight delay in response. "Really?" Her girlfriend's eyebrows raise, and she doesn't want to delay any long, doesn't want to give Cosima a reason to tease her instead of sating her longing.

"Yes!" She begins yanking her own pants down, Cosima aiding her to expedite the process of undressing. She pulls her beloved to mouth once, kissing her deeply, feeling the need to do at least this much before they continue.

"You're so easy." Cosima mutters under her breath, fingers already toying with her lightly, bodies pressed as close as they can.

"Give it to me." She murmurs back. "Touch me…"

And she does, smiling down at her, probing deeply and moaning happily at her reaction. At her squirming, her noises, the passion of this.

As Cosima works into her, fingers pushing in at an achingly slow pace, she lets herself talk to her. Words spilling from her mouth in a muddle of language. Not only French or English. Not just 'je t'aime' or 'plus fort' or 'comme ça', but silly fantasies, a dream, a desire. She clings onto dreadlocks, and kisses olive skin, groping and pleading with her as they go.

She can take more and more, arousal freely dripping from her sex, Cosima burying more and more of her hand in her, more of herself in her, and she crests, again and again, until they've both slipped into some kind of haze. Where neither of them wish to stop, where every word exchanged is no longer spoken aloud. Until the sheets reek of sex, until Cosima comes against her spent form, heart beating fast and hard. Their baby moving once again, she clasps Cosima's hand to her belly, maybe she can feel it. But the lack of reaction on her lover's face shows her instantly that, for the moment, this is her own private joy.

"Feel better?" Cosima jokes as she's trying to catch her breath. They're both slick with sweat, neither capable of much movement beyond sleepy cuddling.

"Yes…" The smile that stretches across her face is both languid and genuine. "I'm worried about your family…. but… I feel much better. Very satisfied."

"You are my family." Cosima reassures.

The words have her tugging the brunette to her lips again, for another needy kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to twig-height (and cophinaphile) for beta reading this.

Delphine watches Cosima stretch contentedly in the morning. They’d spent two relatively quiet days at the farm. No one had even stopped in to bother them besides Kira. She’d been nervous about the lungs, but Cosima had assured her that Scott had everything under control, and was probably far more relaxed while doing so. The anxiety wasn’t doing anyone any good.

“So... we’re supposed to move into that place of ours?” Cosima twists at the waist, turning around to face Delphine as she sits on the edge of the bed.

She nods, not really wanting to move from their warm nest of blankets. “Mmm yes. Today. I think it will be rather empty without furniture though.”

 “Don’t worry about that.” Cosima smirks at her. “I mentioned something to Alison, it’s all going to get taken care of.”

She frowns in response without thinking, brow furrowing. Exactly what is being done in her absence?

“Just furniture... you gave the list to Cal, right?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods affirmatively. “Days ago.”

 “Then... it will be what you want... I hope.” Cosima groans and stretches as she stands.

“Does anything hurt?” 

“Nothing more than normal... I feel like I might actually menstruate... it’s been a while.”

“Very irregular.” She comments under her breath. She’d known this, known this of all the clones. But watching Cosima live through the effects of DYAD’s alterations was something else entirely. She’s watched her continue to cough, and more often, caught sight of telltale red smears on Cosima’s hands and clothing.

“I’ll be fine.” Cosima reassures. “You just like injected me.”

“I want to test Alison and Sarah.” She states plainly.

Cosima looks incredulous for a moment before beginning to laugh. “They’ll never let you. Sarah especially.”  
“But how are they holding off the growths?”

“I don’t know,” Cosima shrugs, “but we can’t like make them. It’s just not going to happen.”

“Would Alison go get scanned at the hospital?”

“No...” Cosima shakes her head. “We’re not exactly legal immigrants. Besides, what happens when they see three identical women in the hospital?”

“Pass yourselves off as monozygotic triplets. It’s rare,” Delphine admits considering. “But it happens, I think they might be willing to ignore it.”

 

**

It’s not what she expected when she and Cosima arrived in town, a small group of people carrying the last few boxes upstairs into their new apartment.

“All resistance?”   Cosima merely nods in agreement, and permits her to lead her up the stairs. It’s clean now, and it’s enough. Although they’ve had little say in the furniture or colour scheme it has worked well enough. It’s perhaps not what she would have chosen, but what are the options she’d have had here anyway. A small part of her aches to return to her cabin, its modern decor and big glass windows in the middle of nowhere. This, this can be nothing like that. Except of course, that here is with Cosima.

“Do you like it?” Cosima asks her, smiling. Cosima herself seems pleased, leaning over to pat a dark haired man on the shoulder briefly.

“Yes.” Delphine decides looking at the mismatched furniture, a cozy chocolate brown sofa and bright red armchair. The table and chairs are completely acceptable. As is the queen sized bed that has been placed in the larger bedroom.

“There’s a lot of red. I think Alison and Donnie had a hand in this.” Cosima comments looking around.

“You like red?”

 “Like is not strong enough... except for like the blood I’m coughing up. I really don’t like that red as much”

Cal pauses, coming out of the smaller bedroom, “This one is going to take more time.” 

“The nursery?” Cosima asks.

“Nope.” Cal opens the door to reveal an adjustable hospital bed and a few, currently dormant, monitors. It’s not enough yet, but she assumes by the time the surgery takes place that this room will be suitable for Cosima to convalesce in after she is released from the hospital.

“A sick room?” Cosima swings to face Delphine. Eyebrows raise in her direction, and Delphine begins to have the feeling that she might be in trouble again.

“I’ll leave you two to sort this yourselves.” Cal excuses himself and shouts towards the other ‘movers’. “Clear out guys, just leave the toaster oven in the box. And someone look out for that Tom guy, he was getting nervous with everyone clomping up and down the stairs.”

“It’s for your recovery post surgery.” She insists firmly. There’s nothing wrong with it. The room is decently appointed and should fulfill its purpose.

“But why? I am just going to sleep in with you.” The brunette crosses her arms, in what is probably an attempt to get her way.

“Until you need a cannula full time for oxygen, or until after your surgery, whatever comes first.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s that or the hospital.” She lays out the option quickly. Assuming the lung transplant proceeds, Cosima will be in the hospital for two or three weeks. After that, this gives her the best option to recover.

Cosima snorts, “Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you hired a nurse.”

Delphine remains silent. She’d been too fixated on getting Cal to secure a doctor to perform the transplant that she hadn’t asked to hire one yet.

“Seriously?”

She lowers her voice, she has no intentions of other people overhearing this. “I will not be able to care for you by myself. If this works? I’ll be nearly 30 weeks pregnant. I will need help.”

“Okay. What about Scotty?”

“Scott will be at DYAD, they’ve already started drafting papers for him.” Delphine explains, her voice a hushed whisper. “I overheard Cal and Sarah talking last night.”

“I don’t think Scott even knows he’s going yet.”   
“He will. I am going to tell him today.” Delphine states decisively, “after I get a look at your new lungs.”

“There’s going to be another meeting today.” 

The small crowd helping them move suddenly makes sense. They aren’t here for her and Cosima, not simply here to aid the moving process.

“Am I going...?”

“I don’t know.” Cosima responds honestly, “No one has really brought that up yet.”

They spend the rest of the day unpacking boxes, finding kitchenwares and dishes and pots and pans.

Cosima is busy sorting through a box of likely donated linens when a knock at the door disturbs them both.

“We’re meeting here.” Sarah announces, barging in past Delphine and sitting clumsily on the couch. She’s followed by Felix, Scott, Cal, Siobhan and a couple others she does not recognize. They settle themselves on the furniture, and in Felix’s case, against the table.

“And Delphine?” Cosima asks, rising to her feet. She’s already breathing heavily and all Delphine can think to do is ask her to go lie down and rest.

 “Delphine needs to stay.” Siobhan insists over Sarah’s low grumbling.

“Is this about Helena?” Delphine hasn’t forgotten that clone, that woman. If she is even the same as the clone who bit her rather than submit to a blood draw.

“Yes.” Siobhan nods, before moving over to make room for Sarah to speak.

Sarah looks around before beginning, “We have a rescue plan. We’re going to send an operative to DYAD, with the goal of infiltrating and verifying if Helena is alive, if she is, then the goal is to aid in her escape.”

The wording is interesting. Aid in her escape, rather than rescue.

“How?” Scott shakes his head, “Delphine told me about DYAD security. It’s crazy. We’ll never get someone inside.”

“Oh we will.” Siobhan assures him calmly.

 “Delphine,” Cal invites, “Tell us about DYAD security again.”

She answers them in the same nonchalant way. “Security is done by implanted chips. You will find it nearly impossible to procure one, they’re only given to employees and injected immediately on the first day of work.”   Scott flips around nervously in the centre of the room.

“Then how the fuck are we going to get somebody into Dyad?”  Scott looks around baffled. She should have made the time to go to the lab, to warn him in advance.

“Scott.” Cosima grins suddenly, “Scott, how’d you like to take a trip?” 

“Oh no.” Scott seems horrified at the idea. “I... I like living here.”

“Yes.” Cal nods at him, “We’re already doing up your papers. In less than a month, we’re sending you to Ai, we have a contact there who will take care of you until you’re accepted into DYAD.”

“And if I am not?” Scott asks anxiously.

“Let’s not worry about that yet.” Delphine juts in gently, “You’re a good scientist, with good skills. But... we don’t know what branch you will be assigned to.” 

“Right,” Sarah takes the floor again, “Felix is going to go with you.”

“I am?!” Felix balks, “Are you serious?”

He looks to Sarah, but it is Siobhan that answers him. “Yes, love. We need a contact outside of DYAD that Scott can get in touch with, you are just going to be the relay. The back-up.”

“I don’t do back-up.” Felix protests.

“Now you do, okay?” Sarah grabs his shoulder, “We are going to get Helena out of there. And we are going to do it fast.”

“How long do we have until Leekie comes out of cryo?” Siobhan shoots the question towards Delphine.

She has to count, has to think about it, her brow furrowing as she uses her pregnancy to keep track. “Another month I think. Maybe a little more.” But by the time she responds no one is listening to her.

“Wait, we can’t make him go...” Cosima looks around hoping for someone else to speak up, “I think, Scott has to agree to this. They both do.”

“No.” Siobhan cuts in, “He’s going. So is Felix.”

Both men remain silent for the next few moments, a bit of arguing breaking out around them. Cosima insisting they both need to consent and agree to the mission. Sarah and Siobhan taking the side that the ends justify the means, and as members of the resistance, they have already signed up for this.

Her own head is spinning, unsure of what to think of this herself. The only thing she is certain of is Cosima’s voice keeps rising and she can hear her breath catching. Should she tell Cosima to stop, to rest? She doesn’t want to interrupt her, or say anything unless invited to. It is clear she is at this meeting as a source only.

It’s sudden, and unexpected when Cosima begins coughing. Delphine rushes to her and when she falls, drops to her knees next to her beloved watching helplessly as she shakes and blood drips from her mouth.

“What? What’s happening?” Sarah demands,

She’s rolling Cosima onto her side, trying not to panic as her head lolls and she continues to seize.

“She’s having a seizure.” Delphine hears her own voice, a lot calmer than she feels at this moment. Somehow no trace of the panic she feels watching her love convulse is in her voice. Maybe, it’s because she has to be strong.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Un-betaed. I apologize for any errors.

It’s hours before she’s remotely calm again, despite her cool exterior as they had quickly gotten Cosima into the sick room and hooked up to oxygen.

“What about the hospital?” Cal’s voice sounds from the living room, it’s as if they do not consider her a competent medical professional. Her opinion is not asked for, simply left to deal with Cosima as the resistance discusses her health.

“Too risky. Best keep her here, if we possibly can.” Siobhan’s gravelly voice responds. “Delphine seems to have things under control for now, we’ll monitor the situation.”

Cosima for her part stirs in her sleep, a cannula now feeding oxygen directly into her nostrils. The heart monitor beeps slightly, it’s an older model, not even wireless and it seems clunky to Delphine. Back on Leda 4, Cosima would have, or could have had the best possible care. In any major colony, she wouldn’t be fretting about her brain or oxygen or after effects of the seizure. Cosima would have been scanned, and then returned to a private room, with frequent nurses checking her vitals and physicians from reputable universities looking at the results.  
 Instead, she’d handled the crisis herself. Waited for the seizure to pass, and then hooked her little love up to oxygen and monitors, allowed Cal and Scott to lift Cosima to the adjustable bed. Would this become the new normal? Or was this just a particularly bad day?

“Lève-toi, mon amour...” Delphine whispers softly, “I need you to wake up soon.”

“Is she awake?” Sarah ducks her head into the room briefly.

“Non. She’s in and out, but not really awake.” Delphine notes, it’s examining Cosima like this that she notices the bruises forming on her arm, the blood draw she’d done was clumsy. How could she have been so careless?

Sarah slouches against the furthest wall, crossing her arms defensively. “Scott’s going to run her blood at the lab, look at oxygen and something... anyway... Is this what is going to happen to us?”

“This is why I want you and Alison to submit to testing. I don’t know.” Delphine tells her honestly, “I can start giving you both the immunotherapy shots, to control it - I don’t know why Cosima’s is so advanced and you and Alison seem fine. But it begins in the uterus; you may not have it.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have Kira.” Delphine emphasizes this again. Does Sarah not understand? The child should not have been possible.

“Right... we’re all supposed to be infertile. Alison definitely is. Cosima too, I guess.” Sarah shifts uncomfortably. “What do you need?”

“Cheek swabs, and blood samples,” Delphine blurts out without thinking. “To start.”

Sarah meets this with a demand of her own. “For?” 

“A comparison of the three of you at a genetic level.” She hopes that those terms are easily understood. Surely Sarah does not want specifics.

Sarah falters, her gruff persona retreating for a moment, before she shakes her head firmly. “You’ll have to find another way.”

Delphine jumps to her feet, approaching Sarah as she emphasizes. “There is no other way.”

Sarah throws up her hands and walks out. “Find one!” She calls out from the living room.

She cradles her head in her hands, gazing at Cosima, watching her stir slightly, the rise and fall of her chest punctuated by brief gaps in breathing. The oxygen stream is steady, Delphine assures herself. This will work, this will help her.

Within six hours, she finds herself alone with Cosima. She breaks only to eat, picking at few pieces of fruit while sitting vigil on the chair next to Cosima’s bed, taking her vitals and checking her over.  Her love wakes once or twice, only to mumble and fall back asleep within moments.

Finally she hears creaking from the adjustable bed, it makes her startle in her chair, half-asleep herself.

“Delphine?” Cosima croaks out, and is quickly handed a bottle of water to drink from. She supports it with her hand, babying her, but Cosima doesn’t complain.

“What happened?”

“A seizure.” She tells her simply. There’s no point avoiding the subject. She intends to assess Cosima for any permanent damage as soon as possible, but she seems very much the same.

“Oh.” Cosima breathes, before taking another long sip of water.

 “I... I thought you were okay.” Delphine sobs at her in response. “I thought that you were getting enough oxygen.”

Cosima takes in in stride, her voice is calm and steady when she speaks again. “How… how long?”

“Less than 12 hours,” Delphine is well aware she looks tired. The bags under her eyes alone are enough to tell that. 

Cosima notices.  “God... you need to rest. Have you been eating?”

“A little." It’s nowhere near the amount of calories she needs, even if she weren’t pregnant.

“Go eat, Delphine.” Cosima orders her, “I’ll be fine for an hour. Can you toss me a book or something?”

Delphine finds the nearest device possible, and quickly returns it to Cosima.

“Thanks… How long do I have to wear this thing for?” Cosima’s free hand gestures around the cannula in a round motion.

“Until your surgery.” She responds quickly, becoming aware that eating is probably the best course of action. 

 “No… no way. I’m not staying hooked up to an oxygen tank-“ Cosima shakes her head insistently, her voice firm.

“Yes you are. Not…constantly. But you must have it with you. Another seizure…” She trails off, not wanting to say the words. Cosima dead. Cosima damaged. It’s not a future she’s willing to consider.

Cosima interrupts again before she can continue. “Could kill me. Could damage my brain. Well, my artificially created body is already killing me.”

“You are not artificial.” 

“I have genetic sequences that are.” Cosima shrugs. “And until we find a way to keep them from killing me…”

“I will. I will find a way.” Delphine insists, clasping Cosima’s hand in her own. “I’m going to study your sisters, and I am going to treat all of you.”

“Except Sarah… I don’t think she needs it.” 

“Non.” Delphine agrees. “But she and Kira may be the answer to an actual cure. A gene therapy. I … I think we have the equipment. Plus, the injections…”

“Which work, short term.” Cosima agrees, “but we are going to need an alternative plan. I mean, my new lungs could just end up like my current ones if we don’t.”

“Yes… but I am beginning to think I do not know everything. I don’t know why Alison isn’t sick. She should be… but she’s not. And… perhaps Scott will be able to provide us with the answers when he returns.” She doesn’t particularly like the idea of forcing the young man to perform reconnaissance, but if there is no other option Delphine will happily go along with it.

She cooks quickly, enough for two, filling two bowls with the quick stir-fry and rice, she brings the first back to Cosima, who adjusts her bed to sit up.

“Thanks.” Cosima mutters, taking hold of the offered fork.

She returns with her own to sit on the chair, her belly not yet large enough to balance the bowl on, she opts for holding it with one hand and eating with the other. It’s fairly bland, but Cosima does not complain. She eats, more for the calories than out of enjoyment.

“Are you just like going to leave me in here? Like… do I have to sleep in here?” Cosima looks at her very seriously.

“Non.” Delphine says before adding a caveat, “Not permanently, just for a couple nights until I can make sure that you are stable enough.”

 Cosima pouts at her between enthusiastic bites, at least she seems to have an appetite. Delphine reasons, this is likely a good sign. Unless she’s faking in some attempt to be let off oxygen and out of the sickroom. 

“You need sleep. Got get some rest.” Cosima instructs calmly, “it’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“Okay.” She agrees finally, hesitating outside the door. She doesn’t want to leave, but even Cosima is too tired by her ordeal to protest when she returns to the bedroom

It hits her when she’s curled up alone in the large bed that she’s no longer accustomed to sleeping without Cosima. She stays to her ‘side’ and when she wakes during the night, the first thing is notices is the lack of warmth. Arms reaching out from habit, seeking Cosima and her warmth. She is too used to having hands on her, to spooning most of the way through the night, the difference is startling. 

Delphine finally wakes to sunlight, instead of dark and shadow. Only to notice that Cosima is laying down on top of the other half of the bed, cannula still in her nose and oxygen tank propped up against the side of the low bed.

“Good morning.” She mumbles, kissing Cosima on the cheek, too delighted to see her there to even try to be mad. As long as she has the oxygen, it should be fine. Concern fills her and she looks over her sleepy lover, who blinks and smiles, reaching out a hand to bring her into closer proximity.

It should be days before Cosima is on her feet again. Days spent resting, and enjoying the higher saturation of oxygen from the sick room. Instead, Cosima is up with her the day after, panting and dragging her oxygen tank around behind her as she watches Delphine unpack, though there’s not much left to do. At least they’d both managed a modest breakfast. Getting supplies would fall solely to her now. Could Cosima even make the walk to the lab? Would she need to rent another vehicle? Buy one? How long could she care for Cosima on her own? Would Sarah or Cal send someone to help her? Spy on her? Perhaps it would be both.

“It’s mostly done, you know.” Cosima tells her, sitting down on the couch. “I think we both need a rest. Cal and his crew did a good job setting us up.”

“I know, it’s already done for us.” For you, Delphine thinks to herself. It’s for Cosima that they did this, not for her. 

“Mmm. Come here, let’s enjoy this..” Cosima insists, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek, she feels the cannula and chooses not to be disturbed by it as Cosima leans in for another kiss, and another, before snuggling into her neck. They’re both too exhausted for much else.

An unexpected sound disturbs them both. The shopkeeper? Why would he come up here? Resistance? Scott? Sarah?

“What’s that?” Delphine flips around to face the door at the sound of someone heading towards the apartment.

“I don’t know… Could be resistance. It doesn’t sound like Sarah.” Cosima considers this for a minute. “Wait, is anyone supposed to be coming? Did you like, call for a house call for me?”

“No. I think the midwife is coming to see the apartment.” Delphine warns her, “I … it could be today… It could be, later this week.”

“Well, umm it sounds like today.” Cosima points out the sound of footsteps headed for the door. “Or… it’s someone else. You think our landlord is onto us and our sapphic inclinations?”

The thought doesn’t bother her at first, until the look on Cosima’s face reminds her that it should. This is not Leda 4. This isn’t the inner core. They’re out in the boonies. A worse fear, one she’d never say aloud, is being found by DYAD. Or one of their subsidiaries. Surely, they wouldn’t go after her. She’s not worth it to them. 

“Hello?” A voice calls from the other side of the door. Knuckles rapping against it. “Midwife here.”

“I don’t think that’s Kendra.” Cosima says, as Delphine gets up to get the door. She’s careful in opening the door, blocking it with her body, and opening it just enough to see who is knocking.

To her relief, it is just one of the midwives from the clinic. 

“Hello.” She greets Delphine with a genuine smile, a large bag in one hand.

“You’re Delphine Cormier, right?” She pokes her head in and looks around the small space, forcing Delphine to back up.

“Yes.”

“I’m Avalon, we met briefly during your last visit.” Avalon introduces herself, and she backs up to let her in.

“Why are you here?” Cosima props herself up on the couch.

“Hello. Well, I had a home visit down the road, and I decided to verify your address, check in, make sure everything is okay.” Avalon explains herself, blue eyes darting around the room. She’s inspecting it, Delphine acknowledges, but chooses not to say anything.

“We just moved in. Cosima and I.” She gestures towards Cosima, but makes no further explanation of her presence.

The midwife turns her attention to Cosima on the couch, “We are nurse-midwives, we do other care as well, when needed. Though usually on children. I didn’t expect to see medical equipment here.”

“I’m sick.” Cosima tells her flatly, refusing to elaborate.

Delphine jumps in immediately. “Yes. Cosima is quite ill, she’s awaiting a lung transplant.”

Avalon’s eyebrows raise in response, “I wish you the best of luck. But it seems you have what you need.” Their reputation for having money seems to have spread around, she realizes. But, at most, she will just make a donation to the clinic after the child is born. That should be enough to satisfy them, Delphine rationalizes, a suitable ‘payment’ for their services, for not asking questions.

“We do, thank you.” Delphine finds it safest to close down the conversation.

 “If you require help.” Avalon’s hand finds her elbow gently, “ask us and we can have someone come in to help you care for Cosima. We’re nurses, too.”

The rest of the visit is questions, mostly about her diet and fetal movements and the results of her last blood test. Minor observations, blood pressure, fetal heartbeat - nothing surprising, nothing that she cannot handle with quick automatic answers.

Avalon is polite enough, not asking questions unrelated to the pregnancy or her health. She doesn’t even ask what exactly is wrong with Cosima, or comment on the oxygen tank.

Does she know? Delphine wonders. Can Avalon see what she and Cosima are to one another?  

“How are you feeling about the home birth?” Avalon asks finally, packing away her blood pressure cuff into her bag, “we have some time to discuss it. And we do have a birthing class for first time parents that you are welcome to attend.”

“Nervous.” Delphine answers honestly.

Avalon attempts to soothe her nerves. “If there’s a problem, Kendra can be here in twenty minutes. In fact that’s what she’s doing right now.”

“But not a doctor? Just Kendra?” The question in her voice is clear, what if something goes wrong? It’s unlikely, she knows this.

“Where is Kendra?” Cosima finally chimes in, she’s pale and tired, leaning back against the couch but insisting on remaining present.

“Oh. Twin birth, so Kendra got called to that.” Avalon is unconcerned, brushing it off, “now let’s talk about your diet. I don’t think we need to be worried about birthing just yet, you’re only about halfway through.” Her voice is light, why should she be concerned as a patient, if her care providers are not?

“But Kendra said that twins would get you transferred and sent away?” Cosima looks to Delphine, “didn’t she?”

“She did. Is it going to be alright?” Delphine is unable to stop the concern from showing on her own face. What is wrong with this place that this would happen? On Leda 4 every moment of a pregnancy was monitored and recorded, births took place in hospitals or clinics, with a plethora of medical staff and equipment. It was nothing like this.

“Ah, don’t worry about Kendra. She’s done it all before. Seen it all before.” Avalon advises them, “I’ve seen her deliver a footling breech without batting an eye. You couldn’t be in better hands, and if we need to, we’ll call her out if things with your birth get too complicated for a younger midwife to handle.”

“Footling breech?!” Cosima blinks trying to decipher exactly what said term means.

“Feet first.” Delphine responds, translating quickly with a shudder. 

“It’s unlikely,” Avalon assures the two of them. “And we can handle almost anything.”

“Almost.” She echoes, that one word is enough to worry her again. Was it a lie then? Simply made to get her to not request a scan? Were they not capable of it? Or was this an accident? Either way, she doesn’t ask. Not now, it’s early still.

She shows Avalon out, and Cosima goes back to lie down. A quick jaunt out to the lab should be easy enough. She bundles up for it, it takes over half an hour to walk, there’s no way Cosima could make this walk. Not for a while.

Delphine reaches the lab, climbing up the metal stairs without problem. The door opens easily to reveal Scott hunched over a microscope looking at a sample.

“Hello, Scott.” As expected, he startles and jumps to his feet as if he expects to be kidnapped and thrown on a transport at any minute. And for all she knows, Delphine reasons, he might be.

“Oh. It’s just you, Delphine.” He relaxes noticeably. “The lungs are coming along nicely, you should take a look.” He gestures towards the tablet next to him, some monitoring equipment has been set up since the last time she’d taken a peek.

It doesn’t take long to activate, though the words hovering at the top of the screen ‘lung cam’ were probably meant more for Cosima’s benefit than her own. She can easily picture her beloved laughing in response. 

It’s much as she has imagined, lungs already significantly larger and more prominent than the remaining fetal  
‘support’ organs sustaining them. It looks good, promising and Delphine smiles, as grotesque as it appears. Like some sort of monster from a fairytale, only it’s Cosima’s best chance at survival.

“Yeah. The lungs look really good, I topped up the feeding fluid, it’s nearly automated other than that. Everything is going well.” Scott seems absolutely terrified by this proposition. His time is running out, unless they can find another reason to keep him here just a bit longer.

“Yes. But I have another job for you.” Delphine instructs. “I am trying to get Sarah and Alison to give us cheek swabs. I want to compare their DNA to Cosima’s. Particularly the synthetic sequences.”

“I could do that.” Scott agrees readily, “but I don’t think Sarah would ever let me.”

“Leave it to me.” She tells him automatically. Alison, she suspects, will be more forthcoming and it may be possible to obtain samples from Kira as well. After all, the girl does appear to really like her Aunt. No harm would come to the child, it was simply a test. There was little reason to refuse it. 

“What are you planning?” He looks over, suspicious for a moment.

“Just more tests. It’s all to help Cosima. And the others as well.” That much is true, they’ll have to let her do that much.

“Cal contacted me this morning about that.” Scott volunteers readily.

“Oh?” Delphine turns to face him, resting her weight against the table.

“They’ve found a surgeon for Cosima.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sometimes, it was easy to forget. The last two weeks had gone so smoothly, it was hard to truly believe Cosima was ill. Other than the cannula, of course, which she still made use of most of the day. It had come more quickly than she’d anticipated, Cosima was stabilizing, the lungs were still growing.

Getting Cosima to the lab, is an adventure by itself. Unsurprisingly, Cosima insists on accompanying her frequently. Though they’ve fallen into a pattern, Scott coming to get them with a car and driving Cosima there, so that she could sit on the couch or putter around the lab dragging her oxygen tank behind her and continuing on best she could.

“Scott will be here in less than ten.” Delphine reminds Cosima who has barely begun to drag herself out of bed. She’d been in and out of the sickroom. And still attempts to spend most nights, or at least the early mornings lying next to Delphine.

“I know… I’ll get dressed.” Cosima assures her, quickly finishing her breakfast and disappearing off to their shared bedroom.

Delphine finds herself looking around, it’s odd how much a place can come to feel like home so quickly. “Cosima… do you think we should get a cradle?”

“For the baby?” Cosima calls back from the bedroom, voice clearly sounding through the small space of their apartment.

“Yes, I saw one at the market yesterday.”

“It’s still early, right? We could get one. Just tuck it away till we’re ready for it.” Cosima emerges pulling her sweater over her head. Red again, as seemed to be her preference. Alison seemed inclined to keep them all clothed, with or without their input on fashion.  
 A rap on the door has Cosima rushing to answer the door herself, still dressing.“Must be Scott.”

“Mon amour, your cannula…” Delphine sighs, rushing into the bedroom to fetch it.

“Oh come on Delphine, it’s not like — Cal!” Cosima stops mid-rant, surprised by an unexpected visitor.

“Is Scott still here?” Delphine peeks her head out from the bedroom. She means, of course, on Persephone. All she can do is hope that this is not the day that her assistant, as she has come to think of him, is sent away.

“Yeah. We haven't sent him away yet.” Sarah calls from the other room, as she forces her way into their apartment and stands, trying to make herself look as tough as possible.

 

“Why are you here?” Delphine asks. Will Sarah finally relent and permit her to take a cheek swab? A bit of blood for testing?

“Your doctor arrived.” Sarah tells her flatly, as if she expects her to be impressed by this news. “Siobhan is with him now, working out the details.”

“Won’t I be working out the details?” Delphine turns to face Sarah, looking between her and Cal. “I am the physician, and certainly, Cosima will have a say - it is her surgery he will be performing.”

Cal immediately moves between them, hands up defensively, “We’ve got it taken care of. You deal with the medical side. You’re a doctor. I’m not… just a washed up nanoengineering geek. We’ve dealt with the rest.”

“And he’s good?” Cosima questions her sister and Cal. “Like, he’s the guy we want doing my transplant? He’s done them before?”

“Yeah. A few times.” Cal responds. “He’s good. He’ll do the job.” 

“And then he’ll leave. No questions asked.” Sarah adds in.

“Sounds good.” Cosima nods, “So… the lungs won’t be done for another what? Five weeks minimum? Delphine is pushing them as fast as she can, Scott too - but you know, there are limits. Especially out here.”

Delphine finds her next words sounding more like a demand. “I will meet with this doctor myself. I need to meet with him, see his qualifications.” It’s not like she’s under any delusions of having power, but if this individual will be operating on Cosima, he better be good. Risks must be as minimal as possible.

“Sure. We’ve arranged it. Just don’t tell him about… well the two of you. Be her doctor. Being anything else with this guy could cause major problems.” Cal advises. “I know where he’s from, and he probably won’t take it well.”

Cosima speaks first. “How much does he know?”

“Well,” Cal laughs, “We had to bribe him from the other continent, where he makes a shit ton of money offering medical services not usually available here. He travels around outer colonies, basically making a killing.”

“How much will I owe him?” Delphine wonders aloud. 

“We’ve paid part of his fee already.” Sarah jumps in. “Apparently, it’s special shit being able to do what you do. Dr. Yuil is impressed, and he’s been paid off. He won’t ask questions. He’ll examine Cosima, and when the lungs are ready, he’ll do the surgery. And then he’ll just take off.” It’s supposed to be reassuring, but what if there are complications? She is not a surgeon, and what she’s seen of the doctors here, they are not up to dealing with transplants.

It is, and she knows it. But keeps her face steady. “I can pay…” Why should she permit herself to become indebted to this resistance that keeps her at arm's length?

“You could.” Cal says diplomatically, “But we’ll pay what we can - it’s not a terrible thing to have this guy in our debt. Just in case.”   
She’s been around long enough to know that she would not get an answer on whatever ‘just in case’ meant. Perhaps Cosima would have some idea, perhaps she would share it. But there were no guarantees.

“I understand.” Delphine says after a long pause. She will have to be merely Cosima’s physician. But… what idiot would look at the two of them and believe that? Could she even appear to be detached enough? Perhaps, he would believe that she was Cosima’s private physician, her caretaker, and that the money in question was Cosima’s.

“You’re going to meet him at the hospital, for an initial appointment.” Cal informed them casually. “We’ve set it all up.”

“When?” She finds herself asking, looking back at Cosima, whose face remains impassive.

“Now.” Sarah tells them, “Cal will take you, and Siobhan will bring Dr. Yuil to you. I’m going to stay out of sight, Alison too. We don’t want this guy selling us out to the highest bidder.”

“Alright,” She rises from her seat, offering hand to Cosima, “let’s get this over with.” She supposes that is a risk, but surely he won’t be able to tell that Cosima is a clone, not from performing a surgery.

On the way down the stairs, she reaches out to Sarah’s elbow, in an attempt to get her attention. But Sarah merely yanks her arm away before looking at her in disgust.

“What? One clone not enough for you?” Sarah tries to shame her, unsuccessfully.

Delphine shakes her head, that is definitely not her interest with Sarah. “Non… I want to know if you have considered letting me take a genetic sample. A cheek swab, a blood draw. I need to look at your genetic code, and Alison’s to compare them to Cosima’s.”

Sarah scoffs openly. “You get Alison’s?” 

“Alison said she will agree if you do.” Cosima chimes in without turning around.

“No!” Sarah lashes out at her sister, as if Delphine isn’t even present.

“Okay, can we just get this done before attacking the next thing?” Cal suggests hopefully. “Let this go for another two days Sarah, we’ll talk to Siobhan about it. Besides? Where the hell is Delphine going to go? Really?”

“Back to Leekie.” Sarah grumbles.

She should take offence, or get angry, but Delphine merely smiles coldly and gets into the car. After all, one thing at a time.

**

When they arrive, they’re shown to a small private room, within the hospital. It was obvious made for these sorts of consultations, a large desk separates the two smaller chairs from the larger one, and an examination table is against the far wall. She wonders how in depth the examination will be, or if this doctor will just want the data, the results. The plain white walls seem ominous, even to Delphine who has spent much of the last few years of her life in hospital, clinics and labs. It’s all so old fashioned, like something out of another century.

 “He’ll meet you here.” Cal nods at them both, before closing the door and walking away.

“So… they paid off the hospital staff?” She turns to Cosima wondering.

“Yeah. Probably.” Cosima laughs. “That’d be like S. And Sarah too I guess.”

“How are you feeling?” Delphine turns to Cosima, wondering, her lover seems alright. Other than the need for extra oxygen, she seemed stable. Perhaps not enough for what her own base instincts frequently demanded, but enough to get through their days. The next five weeks.

“Delphine, I’m fine. I told you.”  Cosima brushes her off, yet again. Fine, she was always fine. She could be rasping for breath, or dripping blood from her lips, and still that same four letter word was offered to her as if it could possibly ease her worrying.

“About the transplant.” She clarifies quickly, giving Cosima’s hand a quick squeeze. Somewhere in the back of Delphine’s mind, she already knows that she will always be concerned about Cosima’s health.

“Well, we don’t have much choice? Do we?” Cosima look at her seriously with her dark eyes.

“Non. Not if you want to live.” Delphine surmises honestly, reaching to stroke Cosima’s dreads. To her surprise, the brunette permits this small affection, even leaning in as if she’s enjoying the attention. After two weeks of Cosima insisting that she could do things herself, and that she didn’t need or want to be mothered.

“Where is he?”

“Probably being a pain. He is a surgeon after all.” Delphine admitted quietly. She was used to these sort of professionals, and no doubt this doctor had amassed quite the ego performing risky and otherwise inaccessible surgeries out in the outer colonies.

“Just like doctors.” Cosima mutters, “Just wants to keep us waiting.”

“Some do.” Delphine agrees warmly, squeezing Cosima hands. A strong squirm from inside her reminds her that three of them are waiting here. The movements she can feel within her are stronger these last few days.

“Cosima.” She calls softly, pulling the smaller woman closer. “Come here.”

“What?” Cosima grinned at her, removing her cannula. “Are we sticking it to Cal? Going to tell the doctor what we really are?”

“Not that. Give me your hand, I want to try again.” Delphine gestures towards her belly, surely, the baby is large enough now that Cosima should be able to feel it. Cosima cautiously goes along with her request, but her lack of excitement shows.

Cosima moves one hand over her belly, permitting Delphine to press her hand more firmly, essentially pinning her hand where it could feel the most movement.

“Hah.” Cosima smiles giddily, eyes gleaming with delight. “Finally, I can feel you, tiny human!” 

Delphine sighs contentedly, for a few quiet moments she concentrates on this, their baby moving, Cosima’s curiously probing hand enjoying the little movements.

“Is it like this all the time?” Cosima inquired, “like is it always moving like this?”

“A lot of the time.” Delphine confessed, “especially whenever I lie down.”

Footsteps outside the door, cause Cosima to drop her hand, turning to face her new surgeon.

The mood changes instantly as the door swings open as if kicked, revealing Siobhan and a tall pleasant-faced man in his early 30s. He wears a lab coat, the only sign that he is actually a medical professional, his dark hair is cropped short to his scalp and shows no sign of greying. He carries no obvious equipment. But perhaps as this is just an introductory meeting the rest can wait until later.

 “Hello.” Delphine greets him politely, extending her hand to be shook, rising to greet him.

 "You must be Cosima.” He comments upon entering the room. “I’m Dr. Yuil.” Like most surgeons, he has no patience for pleasantries. He makes no attempt to shake either of their hands, but regards them curiously for a moment or two.

“Yeah. That’s me.” Cosima responds from her chair, waving.

He looks between them again. “And, Dr. Cormier?”

“Yes,” Delphine nods affirmatively, “I am Cosima’s private physician.”

The words have their desired effect, she’d guessed correctly. She watches his eyebrows raise slightly, as he begins to look at her a little differently, perhaps even a little more impressed.

“So you are the one doing her day-to-day care?” Dr. Yuil clarifies.

“Yes.” She answers, again, watching her little lover bristle at being ignored. Hopefully, Delphine thinks, Cosima can keep her mouth shut long enough to get through this appointment. As long as this Dr. Yuil was a decent surgeon, she didn’t care much about how much consideration he shows either of them.

“Yeah. Delphine’s my physician. I am the patient here.” Cosima jumps in, her cannula still in her nose.

“Yes. And I will get to you.” Dr. Yuil pulls a small device from his pocket, and placing it on the table, taps it once before it emits a small hologram displaying medical data. “Cosima Niehaus, double lung transplant candidate, suffers from an unknown autoimmune disorder. All correct?”

Delphine cannot stop herself from answering for a fuming Cosima. “Yes.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.” Cosima glares at both of them, before settling back in her chair.

“And the lungs, I am assuming they weren’t just printed or grown. Not transgenic alteration? Are you going to cover the immunological side of this? I am only a surgeon. I do the surgery, pop in the lungs and I make sure they work. Everything else falls to you. Immunosuppressants, whatever else she needs is outside my scope of practice.” Dr. Yuil rails this off nonchalantly.

“Yes, I grew the lungs from a compatible embryo, altered for near-perfect histocompatibility. It should be more resistant to Cosima’s illness than lungs that are genetically identical to her current set.” She brushes over this vaguely, but it seems Dr. Yuil has no interest in digging deeper into the the science, or the source.

“Impressive idea. Immunology background?” He tilts his head, something intriguing him enough to ask.

Delphine responds without really thinking. “Immunologist.”

“She must be loaded.” Dr. Yuil glances over at Cosima, who is quietly stewing in response to being ignored. “Though it must be terribly boring to have one sole patient and be stuck here on Persephone.”

Cosima cuts in, standing up to get more attention. “My finances aren't relevant. As long as you get paid, right? Neither is this planet. So drop it.”

“Would you like to examine the patient?” Delphine glances over nervously at Cosima.

“No need. I’ll take your test results. When do you want to do the surgery?” Dr. Yuil changes the setting on his personal assistant device to record.

“In about five weeks, the lungs are not yet fully mature.” Delphine saw them yesterday, the accelerated growth was on track, but even she could not speed things along any further. “Then they will need to be drained and prepped for transplant, but that should only take six hours.” She estimates quickly, yes that should be enough time.

“Good. I’ll want to see Cosima about a week before her surgery to conduct my own examination. I would rather not perform a transplant on an unstable patient, and you will have to sign a waiver.” Dr. Yuil concludes nonchalantly.

“A waiver?” Cosima looks between them. “Why?”

“It’s a high risk surgery. I don’t want to get sued.”

“I will add twenty percent to your commission, no waiver.” Delphine counters, “if you’re as good as they tell me you are, Cosima will be fine. You won’t need your waiver, as long as you aren’t committing malpractice. Besides, out here, who would sue you?”

Dr. Yuil considers silently for a moment or two. “Single adult. Risky transplant. No next of kin, no family to sue…” He contemplates aloud, having absolutely no filter. Or perhaps simply wanting to make them both uncomfortable.

“So?” Cosima prompts.

“No waiver. And I will do my best, I do bring my own surgical equipment, everything is sterilized. I’m no hustler.” Dr. Yuil looks between them. “I can perform this surgery, and then I will leave for the southern continent. I have a couple patients lined up there for less complex procedures.”

“Then we are agreed. I will need your contact information to send you Cosima’s data.” Delphine informs him.

“Good. Well, Dr. Cormier, Cosima, we’re all done here. I gave my information to that Siobhan woman.” Dr. Yuil stands, shakes both of their hands, and gives them a once over before marching out of the room.

“Ugh. It was like I was barely here.” Cosima complains. “They are my lungs. This is my surgery.”

Delphine reaches out to soothe her. “And I am your doctor. He’s a surgeon. Don’t take it personally, mon amour, most of them are like that.”

“He was checking you out.” Cosima grumbles, “and I want to see his credentials.”

She cannot help but laugh softly in response. “He was not.”

“He was. I can’t blame him though.” Cosima sets her jaw and stares her down for a matter of seconds before Delphine is leaning down to kiss her cheeks affectionately. Her silly love, perhaps it is the lack of physical affection lately. She can compensate for that, if only in small ways. She doesn’t want to resist this, she avoids the tubes but she’s not going to deny herself this. Especially if Cosima is going to play jealous.

“I am too big.” Delphine shakes her head, after she decides Cosima’s face has been sufficiently kissed. She smooths a hand over her belly. “He must be able to tell.”

“I don’t think you’re too big,” Cosima raises her eyebrows and manages a suggestive look, even with her cannula in her nose.

Delphine sighs, “You are out of breath already, you know that...”

“I’m willing to try.” Cosima coaxes, “let’s go home.”

“The lungs.” Delphine reminds her pleadingly.

  “Scotty can handle it without you for one day.” Cosima persuades her, arms looping around her neck to tug her closer. “Take me home.”

Delphine waffles for a minute before deciding. “Okay.”

After all, Delphine thinks as she guides Cosima back out of the antiseptic whitewashed corridors of the hospital, who knows how many more days like this they’ll have?


	14. Chapter 14

She grins at Cosima, completely nude and stretched out on their bed. It's perfect, or would be, if not for the cannula still in her nose, and its tubes connecting to an oxygen tank.

"Hurry up." Cosima teases her, rocking her hips against the bed in a teasing fashion.

Delphine giggles undressing herself slowly, half to taunt her lover. "What did I say?"

"That I need to lay back and keep my cannula in, or sex is not going to happen?"

Delphine smiles, "And?"

"And …" Cosima cannot resist jabbing at her, and grabbing at her hips when she finally settles herself over her.

"Does this sound familiar, mon amour?" Delphine eases herself down against Cosima, straddling her hips. "I'm going to lay back, and let you do all the work. I promise I won't strain myself…" She mimics her beloved as best as she can.

"Mmm." Cosima hums, rocking upwards slowly again, "sounds vaguely familiar."

"Oh…" Delphine moans, straddling Cosima easily on their bed. She lets her hips roll, leaving a slick trail of arousal against her lover's skin. Cosima's hands move from her hips, to her ass, to smoothing over her rounded belly and reaching up to cup heavy breasts.

"You're so gorgeous." Cosima murmurs. "Come here, lean in closer."

She does, kissing Cosima, squeaking slightly when her lover becomes more aggressive in her motions. A hot mouth claims one breast, as hands grope her excitedly. For a few moments she permits it, moaning openly, rocking her hips down. After all, Cosima looks good, her cannula is in, and there's little to be truly concerned about.

"What happened to laying back?" Delphine looks down in amusement as Cosima flops back, the need to draw more regular breaths taking precedence.

"You're just too tempting," Cosima grins, attempting to cajole her into permitting this sort of attention. Fingers continue to play with her breasts, pinching her. The sharp pinch of Cosima's fingers hurts, she'd be annoyed if she weren't quite so worked up.

She smiles back, before groaning. "I want your hands lower."

"Like this?" Cosima teases, dropping a hand to her belly, rubbing it leisurely. It's sweet, but certainly not her desired result.

"Brat." She drops her own hand between them instead, only managing to stroke her sex twice before a surprisingly strong hand grabs her wrist, yanking it up.

"I'll do that." Cosima's hand replaces her own, and it's easy to move her hips against her, to ride her lover's fingers to a delicious oblivion that has her panting into Cosima's face, trying not to fall and crush the tubes of Cosima's cannula.

Will this be their last time? Delphine thinks to herself, wondering as she supports her weight on her hands, holding her quivering body over Cosima's. Dark eyes looking up at her, all the love in the world shining at her from Cosima's soft face.

"Je t'aime." Delphine leans down to kiss her, she still looks so perfect to her eyes. Even though she can notice Cosima is thinner, that although the stem cell injections are holding off the worst of it, her little love is still sick.

"You always say that." Cosima mumbles affectionately, withdrawing her fingers to smooth over pale skin, one hand to feel for any tiny kicks or punches, drawn out by all the commotion.

She's not sure why it makes her nervous, even as Cosima's smiling at their baby kicking away within her.

"There you are." Cosima laughs softly, "hah!"

"Sex seems to make him or her move." Delphine shrugs. Orgasm? Increased heart rate? Either makes enough sense to her.

Cosima gives her a contented look, "Mmmm. Yup." She pokes into her skin trying to encourage more movement.

It's sweet, Delphine acknowledges, but she doesn't want to be done yet. And she doesn't just want to take, there is something else she finds she's craving more.

She shifts to move down her lover's body, nuzzling olive skin on her way down. It's getting more awkward, Delphine admits, but she doesn't want to stop doing this. Her tongue makes eager first contact, lapping at the arousal she finds.

Cosima's sounds alone are reason to keep trying to make love to her like this, even if it means her ass must be up in the air to keep the pressure off of her belly. She has an addiction, a fixation, and it must be satisfied, as long as Cosima is healthy enough to do this. This must be gentle enough, soft enough, that it will not hurt her.

"Yes…" Cosima whimpers, clinging to her hair, letting her hips buck up without care or thought.  
She moans greedily, devouring Cosima, slipping hands under her to cup and grope at her ass. To hold her open to her. Logically, she knows Cosima is sick, that she isn't well. That all of this is just a temporary reprieve, but it doesn't stop Cosima from crying out or coming under her mouth. It does't stop either of them.

Afterwards she doesn't want to move, and only reluctantly repositions herself as to not lay across the cannula tubes and inadvertently cut off Cosima's oxygen. Lying on her side, she tries to cuddle her as much as she can.

She stroke a hand along Cosima's back, her side, enjoying the feel of her skin, the smell of her after lovemaking.

"Mmm." Cosima hums in a small voice.

"What is it?" Delphine changes position again, bringing Cosima's hand into contact with a once again wiggly fetus. Surely this will cheer Cosima up

"Nothing really." Cosima shrugs, rolling onto her side to quickly eliminate physical space between them, face impassive.

"Is it the surgery?" Delphine tries cautiously, unsure how much her beloved will let her speak of it.

"No... I know I need it." Cosima admits tiredly, "The injections keep it from progressing, but they can't repair the lung damage. It's not that."

"Then what? We ... I think Dr. Yuil is your best option." Delphine advises gently.  
"He's my only option." Cosima deadpans, unamused.

She concedes, "Yes... if you want to live."

"Why? What do you want?" Delphine asks gently, enjoying the feeling of Cosima tucked in against her side, of Cosima's hand pressed against the swell of her belly, intent on not missing another kick or movement from within.

"Marry me." Cosima pleads.

She's stunned at first, not sure how to best respond to this impossible request.

"Delphine?" Cosima prompts after a minute, leaning towards her until their faces are mere inches apart.

"It... wouldn't be legal." Delphine shakes her head, surely this is silly. Romantic maybe, but do they really have the time to waste? Is Cosima truly suggesting that they invest their limited time and energy into planning some odd variation on a shotgun wedding? Who would even go? Scott?

"I don't care. Marry me." Cosima insists, dark eyes burrowing into her own, convincing, begging.

"When?"  
"This weekend, as soon as possible. Before the surgery. As quickly as possible. We'll go have it on the farm, my whole crazy clone family can watch, if they want to. Or just us two... but it'd be nicer out there, even if there's snow."

Delphine finds herself grinning madly at the thought, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"We'll have a wedding. A small one." Delphine accepts happily, "But you cannot over exert yourself, and we are bringing an oxygen tank."

Cosima deadpans, "I'm not taking my vows with a cannula in my nose."

She pauses to kiss Cosima's nose. "No, but before and after the ceremony you can use it."

"Okay, I'll like call Alison, see what she has for us. And Scott. Let's do this thing." Cosima beamed.

**

It wasn't what she'd imagined, not that she'd ever imagined a wedding at all. She's in a long black knit dress, for warmth, her belly is round, her pregnancy fully obvious to all of their guests. Although, the only one she thinks actually likes her is probably Scott.

Cosima is lovely, fake flowers had been fashioned in a crown for both of their heads, in reds and oranges, and Cosima's dress was red, her oxygen tank sitting just to the side.

She's still beaming at her, hands linked, she doesn't dare look at the guests, other than Scott and the children. Kira seems happy for them, content to watch her aunt get married. Alison's children as well, don't have any malice for them.

She can tell without looking that Sarah is scowling, she knew that she'd tried to refuse to go. But Cosima wouldn't let them miss it, intent on making them watch.

There is no officiant, there doesn't need to be, they'd had a few days to plan this out, she sets in on her vows, shaking despite herself. This wedding was for Cosima, it was what Cosima wanted, and yet, it feels real to her as she promises her life away to Cosima.

Love, honour, cherish. They hadn't done anything fancy, nothing particularly strange, even though Cosima had suggested they make their vows more unconventional.

As long as she lives, Delphine tries not to tear up as she says the words, she will love and honour Cosima.

Cosima has an easier time, with her vows, or she simply doesn't care when a couple tears go trailing down her cheeks. She supposes this is why people have rehearsals, to get the crying out before the actual event. Either way, it touches her, and she can no longer restrain her own tears.

Either way, they're two crying brides before it's over, and Cosima is kissing her, as passionately as she dares, in front of her entire family.

It hits her, as Scott is congratulating the both of them, attempting to make up for the general lack of excitement, that she'd promised her life away to Cosima, months ago on Leda 4.

Married or not, they were inescapably entwined, for the rest of their lives.


	15. Chapter 15

Lights flicker in a darkened room, the low hum of Huxley station, totally inaudible to its inhabitants continued as usual. 

Dr. Aldous Leekie lay on an adjustable bed, connected to both painkillers and a sedative as his body continued to thaw. Unlike most individuals undergoing either side of the cryogenics process, he was almost calm, but perhaps that was just the drugs after all. A squawk or two emerges from his half-frozen mouth, the doctors and nurses attending him happy enough to ignore him for as long as possible.

Eventually, the process is near complete and he begins the process of testing his reflexes.

“Welcome back Dr. Leekie.” The nurse comments brightly, before instructing, “please raise your left leg.”

He does so, with a bored expression on his face. He’s been through cryo so many times that this is nothing. Routine. Rote. Dull. He raises his legs, squeezes his hands into fists, wiggles his toes. Whoever had come up with these assessments had not tried very hard. He can think of several other activities he’d rather try to test his functionality, and ensure all of his blood vessels were thawed. Although, it was probably less than ideal timing.

Eventually the exercises peter out, and his voice slowly returning he speaks. “Will you get Dr. Cormier for me?” He considers for a moment asking whether or not Dr. Cormier is pregnant, before deciding that it doesn’t matter. He stares expectantly at the nurse, what was taking so long. It was a simple com call, a summons.

“Umm.” The nurse’s eyes dart around, glancing behind her, trying to flag down one of the senior staff. “I think we better get one of the doctors to clear you for release first.”

“Nurse, I asked you a simple question. Fetch Dr. Cormier for me and release me to my quarters.” He swings himself on the table so that his legs are dangling. They appear to be thawed enough to support his weight after all.

“Dr. Leekie, Dr. Cormier is missing.” The nurse tells him finally. “She went missing around the time you went into cryo. No one has seen or heard from her since.”

“Missing?” He repeats.

“Yes.” The nurse shuffles slightly, waving over Dr. Nealon from the hallway. “There is some speculation that Dr. Cormier is dead.”

“Dead?” No, he wasn’t going to believe that. “What were her last transactions?”

“I don’t know.” The nurse looks increasingly uncomfortable, before exiting to attend to other patients.

Nealon nods at him, “Good to see you back with us, Dr. Leekie.”

“Where is Delphine?” He asks again, more directly, his voice becoming clearer by the moment.

“Dr. Delphine Cormier is missing, presumed dead. Officially.” Nealon smirks at him slightly. “Unofficially, we have no idea. It looks like she ran for it, got sick of you perhaps.”

“And the cryo tube? With that clone she ran off with?” Leekie remembers her name of course, Cosima Niehaus. And her tag number, 324b21. But neither is particularly relevant to this.  
 There is a brief pause, as Nealon calls up information on the nearest terminal, the holographic interface glowing a transparent blue. “Incinerated. Your orders.” Dr. Nealon states finally. “A day before Delphine vanished, do you think she found out?”

“I did not have any of my clones incinerated.” He tosses back,“I didn’t order any cryo tubes incinerated.”

“It was your code.” Nealon shrugged at him, “whoever did knew your pass codes.”

“Delphine.” He repeats grimly, realization coming over him. “Delphine could have done it.”

“Had the clone incinerated? Why?”

“Because she didn’t.” Leekie realizes at once. “Find her records from when she left Huxley station. Ship manifests. Cargo. Everything. I want to know where she went, and where she vanished.”

“She stole her, right out from under your nose.” Dr. Nealon laughs humourlessly. Perhaps, he was gunning to replace him after all.

“Your nose. I was in cryo.” Leekie squeezes his temples, attempting to cool his frustration. “This is on you.”

As Nealon walks away, probably to procure the required records, another doctor comes to release him, signing off his fitness for duty. Of course, it would be another day or two of relative rest before he was truly fit to resume.

“Delphine.” He shakes his head, poking at the terminal himself, trying to find some information, some clue. “Where are you?”

**

Delphine pauses to breathe as she clears snow from the metal stairs up to their lab. She’s not cold, perhaps it’s the warm coat, perhaps it’s the pregnancy but the winter chill doesn’t effect her at all.

Unlike Cosima, she thinks to herself of her beloved. Her new wife, sort of. She’d left Cosima at home, snuggled up on the couch in a nest of blankets, hooked to her oxygen tank. A few weeks, they’d tried to get Cosima up to the lab as often as possible, but it became more and more difficult as winter set in, and her own ability to help Cosima up the stairs is increasingly depleted. There was no way she could have done this today, not after Scott failed to show up yesterday.  
 A car pulls up behind her, but she continues her work, halfway up the stairs.

“Delphine.” Mrs. S’s voice calls towards her.

“Where’s Scott?” She asks without looking behind her. Is he gone? Is that the last she’ll see of the young man?

“He’s gone, love.” Siobhan tells her gently. “I thought someone should let you know.”

Delphine feels herself tearing up, remembering Scott toasting them at the wedding. His smiling face during the whole reception in the large communal yurt she’d later discovered was half-school, half-meeting house.

“How do you expect me to continue on my own?” Delphine demands, turning, her patience growing thin. “Do you think I can handle a sick Cosima, the lab, the lungs… all of this by myself?”

“No… I’ll clear the stairs for you.” Siobhan offers, “I’ll have someone out to clear them every morning… but that’s all I can do.”

She accepts the help reluctantly. Leaning against the bottom railing, watching as shovelfuls of snow land around the stairs.

“Scott said the lungs are really close.”

“Another three weeks.” Delphine tells her decisively. The thought is overwhelming, they are now the lungs of a child. Nearly large enough, nearly good enough to be implanted.

“But you’ll be… nearly 30 weeks along then.”

“Twenty nine." Delphine corrects instantly, as if she could forget. Her belly got larger, and heavier, it seemed nearly every day. She could tell what was a foot now, and an arm… and so could Cosima to her absolute delight.

“So it’s just growth fluid and checking them… it’s not difficult. That’s what Scott said.” Siobhan reasons it out to herself just as she reaches the door, quickly clearing away the last of the snow. “I should salt these stairs, I don’t think I want you falling.”

She’s not one of them, Delphine knows well. But perhaps her marriage to Cosima has had this one slight benefit. She’s been claimed, publicly, and perhaps her lover’s family will start to respect that. For Cosima’s sake, if not her own.

When she finally makes it to the lab, she checks on the lungs. Everything seems fine, stable so she administers more of the accelerated growth serum. She quickly downloads the growth data onto a portable device, taking a simplified holographic image. That should be enough for Dr. Yuil, at least for now.

The lab seems empty without Scott, without Cosima. And far too clean. As she works, she keeps looking up, as if some part of her expects to see Cosima lounging on the couch. Or glancing into the cell cultures.

As it is, she checks the cultures, extracting a syringe worth for Cosima, and caps it, storing it quickly in her bag. Delphine runs through her to-do list; lungs, Dr. Yuil, stem cell injection for Cosima, research into an actual cure… A gene therapy seems almost impossible.

Turning off the lights, she moves back towards the heavy door, locking it automatically behind her as she makes her slow way down the metal stairs gripping onto the railing.

It doesn't take that long to walk to the hospital, after all, she’s just dropping off data. Dr. Yuil would likely cling to the hologram and dismiss her altogether within minutes. It leaves her plenty of time to run home to inject Cosima and take her vitals.  
 She’d left her sleeping, cozy in her bed this morning.

“Dr. Cormier.” Dr. Yuil greets her formally, after she’s made it into the room he’s requisitioned for this hand over.

 “These are the lungs,” Delphine leans over and positions the device on the table, a quick tap has the hologram displaying and a readout of stats rotating next to it. She’s proud of her work, or she should be. It doesn’t feel triumphant now, it just feels tiring.

“They look good. It’s impressive you’re able to do all this in your condition.” Dr. Yuil speaks without thinking as usual.

She pastes a smile on her face and looks back with what she hopes is a look of sheer nonchalance. “What condition?”

“Your pregnancy.” He misses it, unsurprisingly.

“My pregnancy has nothing to do with Cosima, the lungs, or her treatment.” It’s not exactly true, but certainly at this point her unborn child is its own little life. Separate from Cosima’s treatment.

“I cannot imagine a man letting his pregnant wife run off to the frontier for a patient, no matter how good the money is.” Dr. Yuil thinks it out, “I’m assuming you don’t have one.” He’s blunt, but accurate.

“I don’t.” Delphine confirms curtly.

“And the baby’s father?”

“Is irrelevant.” Delphine responds, growing impatient, “he might as well be dead, if he isn’t.”

For several minutes, Dr. Yuil says nothing, concentrating instead on the lungs, manipulating the image to get a better look at them, at her work. Delphine fumes silently, this is ridiculous. Why is she angry? But why is he even asking?

“And you said it’ll be another three weeks? Excellent. I will book the OR for the surgery. Anesthesiologists, nurses… I will take care of that. But I will want to see the patient two days before for a further physical exam.”

“Yes. I will let Cosima know.” She stands up, shakes his hand and leaves as quickly as possible. She has neither the time nor the patience for this.

She makes it home, climbing yet another flight of stairs in the process, to find Cosima puttering around the kitchen, making her lunch. The smell is delicious, soothing in the best way as she steps into the warmth of the apartment.

“Hey!” Cosima greets her happily as she arrives, oxygen tank safely within reach. “So… I’m making us some sandwiches and a lentil soup. Are you hungry?”

“Yes, come here.” Delphine unfastens her plain black coat, shoving it back into the front closet, she sits to take off her boots. Pleased that Cosima had not moved the chair she had placed near the door for this purpose.

“Why?” Cosima tilts her head with a smile, somehow managing to look adorable even with a cannula in her nose.

“More stem cells.” Delphine reaches in her back for the capped syringe, “it’s a stop-gap, yes, but you need it. I want to make sure you pass the physical exam before your surgery.”

“Alright.” Cosima flicks off the stove. “Let’s get this over with.”

It’s near automatic now, but she feels Cosima’s trust in her, her unwavering patience as she injects her again with another shot of stem cells.

“There. That should help.” Delphine smiles, leaning over to kiss her cheek sweetly.

“Okay, I’m going to finish lunch… I can at least do that.” Cosima reminds her, playfully pushing her off as she moves back to the kitchen.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, she’d only intended to recline on the couch for a few moments to rest her eyes. But it’s clear what has happened when Cosima’s gently shaking her shoulders.

“Come on… lunch time.” Cosima reminds her, laying a quick kiss to her mouth as she awakens.

“I’m sorry… I am hungry.” Delphine pushes herself up.

“You’re doing too much, Delphine.” Cosima informs her as she ladles soup into a large bowl, a roasted vegetable sandwich already sitting on her plate.

“I don’t have a choice.” 

Cosima shakes her head, setting her lunch in front of her. “You’re wearing yourself out. I only have so many hours of energy a day… but I know that. I sleep a lot. I think, maybe you should too.”

“Then who will take care of you?”


	16. Chapter 16

She wakes the morning of Cosima’s surgery to a kicking, squirming fetus and a warm hand cupping her belly, savouring the motion.

“Morning.” Delphine greets Cosima sleepily, but this greeting isn’t for her, she realizes in minutes.

“Hello tiny human!” Cosima greets her belly cheerfully, “I’m your mommy, and I love you.” She opens her eyes, and surely Cosima’s cannula is in place, providing her with a steady stream of oxygen from the tank.

 She should tell Cosima to go back to her own room, to the adjustable bed and the monitors and contraptions. Instead, Delphine hums and smiles, running her own hand down to press against Cosima’s, pushing both of their hands into their baby.

“I’m not going to be able to talk to you for a while... or sing to you... So I just want you to not forget my voice. I’ll be back.” Cosima strokes her belly again, laughing slightly at the kicks and trying to suppress her cough.  
   
Tears fill Delphine’s eyes, she does not want to be reminded of the risks of surgery. Possibility of infection. The small possibility, that even these altered custom lungs may be rejected by Cosima’s body. She’s not even sure she trusts anyone enough to let them do something so invasive as operate on Cosima, but there is no choice.

“It’s going to be okay.” Cosima turns her attention to her face, “I trust you.”

"And Dr. Yuil?” Delphine tries to offer the subject up diplomatically. The man is as difficult and awkward as ever.

“A means to an end.” Cosima concludes with a shrug. “So, before I’m out of commission want to talk baby names?”

"Can it wait?” Delphine groans, shifting her weight on the mattress. Why now? Was Cosima trying to guilt her into naming the child something in particular? Or was it simply time to discuss such things? Quietly, she’d thought of several possibilities, but it was not important right now. Not a priority.

Cosima shakes her head, leaning into kiss her belly before responding. “Why wait?”

“We have enough to think about today, mon amour.” Delphine releases Cosima’s hand. Looking at her pointedly. “Your surgery.”

“Okay, tiny human, Maman has decided that we’re going to wait to find you a name.” Cosima addresses her belly, punctuating the sentence with another kiss. “I am against this idea, and really do want to give you a name. I promise.”

“Cosima!” Delphine laughs, unable to help herself, even as Cosima’s breathing thickens, spluttering as she laughs as well.

“Let’s get going.” Cosima looks up at her once her breathing has evened out again. “I’m too tempted to just stay here cuddling you and talking to the baby. It’s not like I’m allowed to eat anyway.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Delphine agrees, stroking at her lover’s hair. “Je t’aime.” She feels an inexplicable need to confess her love, just in case.  

“I know. I’m not going to forget that.” Cosima smiles back at her, leaning up to kiss her mouth briefly, just the sweetest brushing of lips.

**

Cosima seems unsettled, waiting for the anesthesia to be delivered. She’s already been hooked up to multiple IV lines, examined, poked and prodded to the extreme.

“You’re alright.” Delphine reassures her. Glancing over at the large vat that has been serving as an artificial womb for the lungs - now comparable to the lungs of a 16 year old. Good enough, mature enough, to implant them both into Cosima. She plans on finishing the draining process as soon as Cosima has been put out.

“Hazel.” Cosima looks right at her.

“What?” Delphine wrinkles her brow

“I want to name the baby Hazel, if it’s a girl.”

“We’ll talk about this later...” Delphine glances around, no one seems to care - all more concerned with prepping Cosima for surgery. It’s not the time, not even the time to tell her that that name sounds awful in French.

 “They have to like break my ribs, recovery is going to suck.” Cosima shakes her head. “Just… tell me what you think, quick before…” Cosima trails off, looking pointedly towards the OR door.

Dr. Yuil reappears, “Okay, so as we discussed, we’re going to do a double-lung transplant. Quite amazing, really, growing her new lungs.” He addresses Delphine as Cosima rolls her eyes, the anesthesiologist moving in to sedate her.

“Yes. They have been altered to be more compatible.” Delphine smiles, this was her doing, she is saving Cosima. “And I am confident that they will reduce the need for immunosuppressants.”

“Better outlook than with regular donor lungs.” Dr. Yuil nods knowingly, “She’ll last much longer with these.”

“I hope so.” Delphine echoes an earlier conversation, her hand not leaving Cosima’s until she’s out. Another few years with Cosima would not be nearly enough to satisfy her.

“You shouldn’t get so attached to your patients, Dr. Cormier,” Dr. Yuil shakes his head at her but he’s smiling, “She’ll be fine, probably. You’ve done all you can do. More than anyone can expect out in these parts.”  

**

She observes the entire surgery, not wanting to leave Cosima alone. In the end, she does avoid holding her hand, but only to stop the strange looks that the nurses are giving her. It’s too obvious, she realizes. Some of the nurses seem to suspect the truth of them. Dr. Yuil, however, appears to remain completely ignorant, or simply entirely self-absorbed.

“You should step outside, Dr. Cormier.” Dr. Yuil addresses her calmly, the sleeves of his surgical gown coated in Cosima’s blood as he manipulates a growth filled lung from the chest cavity of her wife.

“I’m fine.”

He doesn’t even look back at her. “Then sit down.”

A nurse offers her a folding chair, closer to the door and she takes it. At least she’ll sit, watching this. She feels nauseous and unsteady, ever since draining the lungs. A steady hum of machinery, the false lung, the heart monitor. It all makes her head spin.

It’s strange, she wants to immediately blame the pregnancy, as if that is responsible for her feeling ill watching medical staff operate on Cosima. But, perhaps it is merely her attachment. Or both. She can barely see gloved hands digging into her love, assumably suturing the new organ into place. It seems so unnecessarily rough, but she sits, and says nothing.

“First lung is in.” Dr. Yuil calls out, “nurse, get me the second lung.”

It takes nearly six hours to complete the surgery, tubes continuing to extend from Cosima, artificially sustaining her life, providing extra blood and fluids, and by the end of it, Delphine is exhausted.

Cosima is left there, fully sedated with a breathing tube extending from her face and more tubes and IV lines than she cares to count extending from her body. Drainage tubes lead from the fresh sutures on her chest - one incision on each side for each new lung. The scars are long and fresh, stretching out under her breasts and meeting at her sternum. Nurses hover around checking her vital signs and making notes on their tablets.

“It went well.” Dr. Yuil assures her, as he guides a reluctant, fatigued Delphine from the room. “Come, let’s get you something to it eat.” Leading her out of recovery and down to the cafeteria. “I don’t want a pregnant woman fainting.”

She eats in silence, listening to him yammer on about the surgery, and how impressed he was with the lungs and Cosima’s final test results.

Through the meal, he is his usual awkward self, stuffing his face. Talking about his other cases. It’s the same as usual, though when he takes her tray and clears it for her she falters.

She brushes it off... it can’t be. Dr. Yuil is just being kind to her, she reassures herself. Probably pities her, believing her to be single and increasingly pregnant. Pity, apparently is one emotion this man is capable of expressing.

“Let me drive you home.” He offers, “Your patient will be sedated for a few days. You should get some rest, Dr. Cormier.”

“Alright.” Too tired to protest, Delphine accepts. The drive is quiet for the first few minutes.

“You need anything?”

“I was going to go grocery shopping.” Delphine admits, “But I’m too tired.”

“I’ll take you.” Dr. Yuil smiles a strange smile. He has the sort of face she couldn’t quite picture smiling. Nonetheless, he takes her to the store, waits around while she gets her things and then drives her home, unspeaking.

When he follows her up the stairs she is confused, “I just want to make sure you get home safe.” He carries her bag of groceries for her... flirting? Delphine wonders. But she’s 29 weeks along, her belly is round and her child kicks near constantly. He cannot possibly be flirting with her. Cosima still wanting to make love to her is one thing, a stranger would be quite another.

Delphine unlocks her door and steps into the apartment, Dr. Yuil follows behind her. She’ll have to find a way to get rid of him. All she wants to do is strip down and sleep, get some rest before she takes up a bedside vigil next to her love. How long could she keep that up without some sleep?

“Just put the bag on the counter, I’ll take care of it.” Delphine assures him, removing her coat and hanging it by the door. She hears sounds of groceries being put away, she needs to shoo him out. She’s in no mood to have guests.

“Have a nice night.” Delphine tells him firmly on his way to her door. But he’s not leaving, Delphine realizes. “Thank you for your help.” She tries again, more assertively trying to shepherd him out of the apartment.

His lips are on hers before she has time to think about it, arms pulling her in tightly. Shocked, Delphine simply responds.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this with benedryl wearing off which makes me pretty useless. Unbetaed. Sorry for any errors. Will catch and correct when I can.

She’s kissing Dr. Yuil, or rather letting him kiss her. His hands are already impatient on her ass. Merde. He feels nothing like Cosima. Nothing earth-shattering or all-consuming. Cosima. She thinks, what would be best for Cosima? Allowing this? Refusing this?

She pushes firmly at his shoulders, forcing him back to arm’s length. “No.”

“I’ve never fucked a pregnant woman before.” Dr. Yuil admits, breaking their kiss, his hands reaching for her shirt.

“No.” Delphine repeats, shaking her head, pushing his hands off her body. This is not a requirement for treating Cosima, this is not part of a deal. She doesn’t have to do this.

He looks back at her, bizarrely surprised.“Why? You’ve made it clear - no husband, no boyfriend - baby’s father not in the picture. You shy?”

“No, I don’t want to.” Delphine takes a step back, putting distance in between them. Even if not for Cosima, she’s exhausted. Any outcome for this that does not involve him leaving and her going to bed alone is unacceptable. She’s never quite understood how otherwise educated men get away with kind of repugnant behaviour.

“You’re allowed to have a life too, Delphine,” Dr. Yuil is shaking his head at her, “Your patient is going to go back to her family when she’s well. And I’m going back to the southern continent. And you need to figure out a life for yourself. Why not just enjoy this?”

“I...” Delphine struggles for a moment, should she disclose that Cosima is so much more than just her patient? She remembers Cal’s warning when he had arranged for Dr. Yuil to be flown in for Cosima’s surgery. “I think you should go.” She decides finally.

“If you really want me to go, I’ll go. But the offer stands.” Dr. Yuil smiles at her and reaches to touch her face, before leaving through the door and closing it behind him. He doesn’t seem to notice her scowling even as he leaves. She locks the door quickly, not wanting to leave any question if he turns back.

Exhausted, Delphine collapses into bed, adjusting the pillows to prop her legs apart and cushion herself. For once, sleep comes quickly.

When she wakes during the night, she’s halfway to the sick room before she remembers and stops herself. Cosima is at the hospital. Cosima will be recovering for a week there before they even let her come home to recuperate.

She goes back to bed, but it’s a long time before she sleeps again. She tosses and turns, little kicks not helping with her sleeping. Perhaps, she thinks foggily as she drifts off, the baby misses Cosima too.

Delphine wakes up late, pushing herself up from her bed, still dressed in her rumpled clothes from the night before.

She showers as quickly as possible, counting the kicks and movements of the baby as a habit. After dressing, she’s out the door in minutes heading for Cosima’s bedside.

The nurses look at her strangely when she enters, as if they didn’t expect a doctor to be so concerned with the status of their patient post-surgery.

She visits Cosima while she’s sedated, tries not to be perturbed by the mess of tubes and wires.

“She’s stable. She made it.” The nurse shrugs at her, before moving on to the rest of her patients. “Once she’s stable enough, we’ll be releasing her to her family.”

“Allo ma chérie.” Delphine whispers, bringing Cosima’s free hand to her belly when their baby kicks, “Can you feel that?” It’s not close enough, and she knows she will not feel relief until Cosima is awake and talking again.

Delphine eases herself down on the nearest chair, leaning over to stroke Cosima’s forehead. “How long will she be sedated for?”

“Another day, we want her up and trying to walk.” The nurse seems to consider this, “maybe tonight. She’s breathing fairly well, but recovery will be painful.”

“Did you give her the immune blockers?” Delphine strokes Cosima’s forehead again.

“Yes…” The nurse eyes them warily, she knows, and Delphine sees it instantly. It shows all over her face how much more to her Cosima means than just a patient.

Whatever Cal has told her, there’s no point pretending anymore. She leans down to kiss Cosima’s forehead. It’s only then she sees Dr. Yuil and another nurse hovering in the doorway.

“What is this…?” Dr. Yuil speaks without thinking.

The nurse looks at him incredulously, crossing her arms across her chest, “You can’t tell?”

“Cosima and I, are more than patient and doctor.” Delphine responds simply, holding Cosima’s hand as she turns to face him.

“Fucking foreign perverts. We don’t get them out here.” The nurse shakes her head, seemingly freaked out by something as small as a kiss on the forehead. “So much for her being a physician, she’s just another muff-muncher.”

That was not a term she’d expected to hear.

“You’re…dykes… homosexuals.” Dr. Yuil grimaces, correcting his initial slang. “Well that explains things…but you cannot be. You’re pregnant!”

Things, Delphine thinks with a small huff of breath. Things that would prevent a nearly 30 week exhausted pregnant woman from having casual sex with a near stranger. Her relationship with Cosima aside, she still cannot imagine a scenario when she would have been interested. Either way, she’s not inclined to enlighten him to the details of her child’s conception.

“I’m afraid we are going to have to ask you to leave.” The nurse states firmly, “Cosima is in good hands, we will be releasing her in 48 hours, please have transport ready.”

“I will… but you cannot make me leave. I am still her physician.” Delphine stands to her full height, attempting to intimidate.

“You’re her girlfriend. This is unprofessional. Out.” Dr. Yuil is looking at her with undisguised disgust.

The nurse agrees, ushering her out of the hospital room.

Unsure of what else to do, she permits them to escort her out. “I am just going to keep coming back.” Delphine informs the nurse. “Cosima needs me.”

“The patient needs her rest. Not your lips all over her.” The nurse grimaces again, seeing her out. “I don't think you're fit to be her physician at all.”

“But I am a physician. An immunologist.” Delphine protests as she walks towards the exit.

Once outside, she looks around at the snow, pulling her coat more tightly around herself. A few staff linger near the doors, some peering out at her through the windows.  
 With nowhere else to go, Delphine heads for Felix’s. She knows that the rude man is away, with Scott. But perhaps that would help her find Mrs. S.

**

“What are you doing here?” Siobhan looks her over as she enters the building. She’s clearly walked into something, she looks between Siobhan and Sarah, but there’s no telling exactly what they were discussing. They both look at her expectantly.

“The hospital kicked me out, they saw me kissing Cosima.” She explains quickly.

“Kissing her? That was dumb.” Sarah leans out of the door, holding her coat in her arms. Her boots still on as if she’s just arrived from somewhere. “I thought you were supposed to be smart.” 

“Her forehead.” Delphine reiterates. “They plan to release her tomorrow… but I should be with her. Can you or Cal…”

“No.” Siobhan responds. “Go upstairs and wait with Kira. Sarah, go be with your sister. I’m sure we can just pass you off as twins.”

“Alright.” Sarah nods, “you’ll watch Kira for me?” 

“Yes… just go now. I don’t want Cosima waking up alone.” Siobhan decides. “They never sedate patients as long as they say they will. They’ll want to get her up and moving as soon as possible.”

And with that, Sarah throws on her own heavy coat, pushes past her with a quick shove, and marches out the door, heading for the hospital.

Delphine pulls off her coat, clunking up the stairs in her own boots. She finds Kira on the landing, sitting down and leaning over, quite clearly caught eavesdropping.

“Hi Auntie Delphine.” Kira whispers. “I’m trying to listen in on what mum is saying to Mrs. S.”

“Anything interesting?” Delphine leans down next to the child. Who simply nods. She doubts she can get any information out of Kira, and she’s not really willing to try.

 “Why are you here?” Kira looks at her curiously, “I thought you were staying with Auntie Cosima at the hospital. You’re supposed to be helping her, she just got her new lungs.”

“I’m trying to help your Auntie Cosima.” Delphine tells the child gently, “but the doctors at the hospital don’t want me there.”

“That's silly.” Kira blinks at her. “You’re a doctor.” 

“Yes, and your mother won’t let me take a cheek swab.” She sighs, pushing her hair back from her forehead with one hand.

"What for?” Kira pushes herself up to her feet, beckoning Delphine away from the ledge, and towards one of the apartments.

Delphine drops her voice, she doesn’t see the point in lying to the child. Who is probably far better informed that her about nearly everything. “To compare her DNA to Cosima’s to see if I can find something that will help her.” 

“But that’s why you grew the lungs.” Kira looks up at her. “That’s why she’d had her surgery.”

“But if I cannot find a way to stop the autoimmune diseases, Cosima will get sick again.” Delphine offers, “but she can breathe easier and she’ll be able to help me.”

“Why don’t you take my cheek swab?” Kira asks. “I’m her niece, that should help.”   
“It might.” Delphine strokes the child’s hair. “I can take it now, it’s quick and it won’t hurt.”

Kira nods, and she reaches for the small collection kit in her pocket. She’d been hoping for Sarah, but Kira… Kira may be useful as well.

She swabs the inside of the child’s cheek and recaps the device, pushing it back down into her pocket just as she hears Siobhan’s footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Come on Kira, love.” Siobhan calls her downstairs. “You too, Delphine. We’re going to the market.”

“What for?” Delphine asks.

“Oh we have a shipment to pick up. Come on.” And with a last wave of Siobhan’s hand, Kira retrieves her own coat, and she follows the girl downstairs.

**

She waits next to Kira, several merchants selling goods from other colonies, mostly those nearby. But a few of the travelers look more worn, thinner and exhausted from longer journeys. Had she and Cosima looked like that when they’d arrived?

The snow does nothing to slow this market, it’s set up outside a warehouse not unlike the one that concealed her own lab. She must go there, and soon, to begin culturing Kira’s cells. She could, at least, compare those to Cosima’s. Perhaps the child would be a match for her. But even if Kira was, Sarah would never allow her to extract cells of any kind from her child.

Kira seems to be listening in again, as she no doubt usually does. The child is bright, Delphine surmises with a small smile.

“Well that about settles it.” Siobhan speaks more loudly across from the merchant. “But what about my special package?

“We don’t have it yet.” The older woman responds from across the table. “But we do have your usual order.” She indicates the crate. “Once you provide the proper payment, it’s all yours.”

Siobhan leans forward, lowering her voice again.

Delphine looks around instead. Perhaps she should be starting to purchase more baby items. With only ten weeks or so to go. But when she asks about baby items, Kira leads her towards other merchants. Plain folded cloths, and what seems to be multiple layers of foldable fabric sit on the table.

“Need diapers?” The man looks at her, “My wife makes the covers. A lot of them anyway, and the cotton is grown here mostly.”

“Diapers…” Delphine repeats looking at the pieces of cloth. She picks one up. “It seems far too thin.” It seems to have three part, divided by seams.

“Ah, that’s a prefold. We also have flats… covers are in that bin.” The man looks at her as if she’s an idiot. “You wash it until the oils are washed out, it fluffs right up. Super absorbent. But if you’re handwashing, take the flats… they all need prewashing before baby comes.”

She’s unsure why, but she hadn’t quite expected this. Archaic technology. Perhaps it was effective, but she thinks back to Leda 4, disposables were typical, though some cloth existed, services and the like. The raising of this child, Delphine acknowledges, will not be exactly what she’s expected.

Kira doesn’t seem disturbed. “How many will my aunt need?”

“Umm at least two dozen diapers per size, plus the covers..” He rummages for a box. “We’ll make you a deal. I’ll sell you thirty diapers and five covers for… oh 214 credits.”

“170.” Delphine counter offers with a smile, “and I’ll buy them. Is that a good price, Kira?”

The girl nods. Delphine leans forward to pay, Kira takes it upon herself to pick a few covers, some are colours and the girl happily chooses an assortment.

“Is your aunt dumb or something?” The man whispers to Kira.

“Something.” Kira responds with an odd look. “We’ll take these ones.”

Delphine takes the now heavy box from the man, and balances it on her hip. “Well that’s one thing done.”

Siobhan appears wheeling a crate on a cart. “Ah, you’re ready. Let’s go… I have to drop this off before we go home. And it looks like you need to go home.”

**

She’s home only briefly, tossing the cloth into the wash. She might as well start preparing and have them ready for the child’s arrival.

Delphine heads for the lab, the stairs have been cleared for her, but it still takes several minutes for her to maneuver her heavily pregnant body up them. She cultures Kira’s cells immediately, setting them up to grow in a petri dish. A comparison with Cosima is only a day or two away at most. She’ll have it done before Cosima is released from hospital. At least then she’ll know a little more about how she might be able to treat her wife. If only Sarah would consent to a swab… Delphine cups her face in her hands, unsure why she is so tired. It’s not even lunchtime yet.

She makes herself a cup of tea and settles herself on the couch. Soon, soon Cosima would be released and within a few weeks they could be coming to the lab again, working together again. They’re find the cure, together. They have to.


	18. Chapter 18

It is the longest ten days of her life. Ten days since Cosima’s surgery. Since being kicked out of the hospital. Her efforts to return were constantly thwarted, and no one updated her. Not on the lung function tests. Not on anything. She’d only seen Siobhan twice, and Cal once; both had assured her that Cosima was fine and not to worry. The last message she’d received, had simply said Cosima would be released this afternoon and to be home and ready for her.

At least they hadn’t released Cosima early, and yet, Delphine wonders if she herself can provide a higher standard of care. She certainly has the equipment, but would likely need help with the heavy lifting. She’d researched the possibility of a gene therapy, theoretically, it should work if she can target it correctly. 

Kira, strangely enough, was a very good match for Cosima. Good enough for bone marrow, Delphine smiled at the results. She’d made her records, and froze the sample; there was no way the child would be permitted to donate to Cosima, but perhaps in case of a grave emergency it was good to know. She packs up the lab, it could be several days, or longer, until she has the chance to return.

Delphine huffs slightly on the stairs, it was an odd and excruciating feeling, having one’s ribs kicked from the inside. And not one she wanted to get used to.

“Arrête.” She speaks to her belly, even if the child cannot understand her maybe it would at least give them both a distraction.

Her way home is as rushed as she can make it, picking up a little more food en route. She climbs the stairs to the apartment, already winded by her day. As much as she already loved her baby, pregnancy was becoming more and more tiring.

“Hey,” a soft familiar voice calls from the living room as soon as she’s opened the door.

“Cosima.” She immediately drops her bags and rushes towards her love, but stops short of embracing her. She doesn’t want to injure her, or squeeze her still healing ribs.

“I’ve only been home an hour… the nurses said I have to keep moving, as much as I can.” Cosima grabs her hands in her own and squeezes them. Cosima’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing else, probably easier to get in and out of than more complex clothing.

“Yes,” Delphine agrees, “that’s right. Are the stitches all out?”

“Yes, finally.” Cosima smiles. “Took out the last ones this morning. I really missed you. Sarah told me what happened.”

‘She did?”

“Yeah I guess I am just that irresistible unconscious.” Cosima smirks, trying to make it into a joke. “Sarah told me you couldn’t keep your lips off me. Got yourself kicked out.”

“I kissed your forehead.” Delphine reiterates, clarifying the action. “Were they cruel to you?” That is the more important thing after all, that Cosima was well taken care of and not given less than standard care because of what she is or who she loves.

“No,” Cosima shakes her head. “Few comments, nothing more.”

“Good… let me see.” Delphine reaches for the hem of the shirt, Cosima yielding easier and permitting her to strip it off. They both know this is almost entirely medical, that she must inspect the incisions and how they are healing, especially after not seeing Cosima for ten days.

The scars don’t surprise her, the hard red lines where Cosima’s flesh tries to knit itself closed, the longest scar stretching out under both breasts, tube incisions heal lower on her chest. It seems the stitches were recently removed, it looks so raw - but about as good as can be expected.

“There’s no sign of infection.” Delphine assures Cosima with a smile, even as she returns the garment to cover her again. Relief floods her, the primitive hospital had done this much right.

“Good. Cause it doesn’t feel great.” Cosima smiles tiredly. But she can hear the steady breaths now, finally her love is getting enough oxygen.

“Is your breathing easier?”

“Yes and no… my ribs hurt, but I don’t feel lightheaded or anything.” Cosima shrugs. “It’s easier. I passed the lung capacity test. Which was actually pretty exciting.”

“Good….” Delphine looks over Cosima again, more tenderly. But holding her might be out of the question. She squashes the desire to cling to Cosima.

“So… can you get Cal to bring me some pot?” Cosima pleads gently, “I asked him, and he just kind of put me off.”

“No.” Delphine answers instantly.

“You’re the one who told me I couldn’t smoke.” Cosima tosses back under her breath. “I take it you got to them too. You’re going to make me go off cold turkey.”

“New lungs. Nothing burning should be inhaled into them.” Delphine stirs fully, looking up.

“Hmm… we’ll negotiate that one.” Cosima advises her, tucking herself into her arms, wrapping her own arms around them. The choice has been made for her, and she puts up zero resistance.

It feels good to be held by Cosima, even lightly like this. Cosima pushes herself forward playfully, until she wraps her arms softly around her.

“Are you alright? Does this hurt?”

“Not really.” Cosima sighs. “I really missed you.”

“Mmm.” She hums into an unexpected, but very soft kiss.

“And that.” Cosima smiles when she breaks away. “No cannula required.”

“Non.” Delphine agrees stroking Cosima’s face. “You don’t need it anymore.”

“But… the autoimmune disease, I still have it.” Cosima shrugs, “so I guess when I recover more we have work to do.”   
“You need to rest.” Delphine informs her lover softly. “Do you want me to make you lunch? Do you just want to nap.”

“Can you just sit with me?” Cosima asks, gesturing towards the couch. It’s easy, sitting down next to Cosima, smiling as a hand finds her belly within minutes.

“Mmm.” She hums contentedly.

“It’s bigger.” Cosima comment, hands taking a thorough survey. “You feeling okay?”

“I’m fine.” She assures Cosima, no need to tell her sleep is becoming more challenging. Or that the child’s movements are getting strong enough to be uncomfortable.

“So… Hazel?” Cosima looks at her hopefully. “For a girl,” she adds unnecessarily.

“No. It sounds awful in French.” Delphine shakes her head. “Not a Hazel.”

Cosima pouts at her, keeping her hand pressed to the roundness, caressing it. “No?”

“Non.” She shakes her head, “we’ll find something. We still have, what? Eight weeks?”

“Okay, just give me a day or two to get over this.” Cosima sighs, cuddling it. “Oh this is nice.”

 

She bites her lip, hesitating before she continues. “Do you have an idea on what you’d call a boy?” Is her suspicion correct? Does Cosima have a preference? Will she be terribly disappointed if their child is a boy?

“Not yet.” Cosima tilts her head to the side. “I guess I’ll have to think about it.” The brunette’s nose crinkles slightly as she contemplates this possibility.

Delphine’s heart sinks a little at the look on Cosima’s face. She hadn’t thought much about the sex of the baby. Either sex was a possibility. She knows which embryos were put in after all. Leaving it to fate seemed a good a tactic as any. The lungs were grown from one of two XYs, the XX and the other XY were logically, the ones that were implanted.

“I’m okay with whatever.” Cosima assures her, speaking after a lengthy silence. “I mean, it’ll still be our baby, right?”

“Yes. Our baby.” Delphine nods.

She’s not sure when she drifted off, Cosima had fallen asleep after lunch, and lounging on the couch seemed the best option. Even when compared with returning to the lab. At least here she could be available for whatever Cosima needed when she woke.

She’s trying to rest, lying on the couch, but even with her eyes closed she can tell that it is Cosima shuffling around trying not to disturb her too much.

Fingers press into her belly firmly, repeatedly until she feels kicking from within.  
 The game continues, Cosima poking the baby, until they kick back repeatedly, making it quite clear that as long as this game goes on she isn’t going to get any rest at all.

“Stop it, both of you.” Delphine grumbles, annoyed.

“Aww, but it’s fun!” Cosima teases. “They’re getting really strong now. The kicks.”

“I know.” Delphine snorts with slight laughter.

“Leo?” Cosima says softly. “For a boy?”

This, this one she’ll give her. “Yes.” Delphine agrees, without hesitation, that name will do nicely.

“Hah. Wait til I tell Sarah.” Cosima grins sleepily, prodding her belly again, soliciting more motion. “I’m naming the baby.”

“We’re naming the baby.” Delphine corrects. “And we still need a girl’s name.”

“We’ll find one.” Cosima assures her. “And we might change our minds. I mean, you must have had some thoughts about names.”

She groans, pressing her head back into the sofa. “I have childbirth education classes tonight.” Delphine is embarrassed to admit that she’s barely thought about after the birth, she’s been so fixated on Cosima’s health.

“Oh… Am I like supposed to go with you?” Cosima looks concerned. “If I nap now, I can probably make it.”

She hadn’t planned on it, but perhaps having Cosima with her would make it easier.  
“It’s all first time mothers.” Delphine shrugs, “the midwives suggested it would be helpful for … for us.” She decides finally. She will be bringing Cosima with her, even if Cosima needs to rest in a chair nearby.

“Sounds…interesting?” Cosima suggests uncertainly. “I guess it could be useful… it’s not long now is it?” Cosima grins down at her belly, at their future.

“No… not too much longer.” Delphine agrees.

**  
They’re all teenagers. Delphine assesses the round faced girls sitting near her, six of them. To add insult to injury, her belly is clearly the largest. Cosima, to her credit, has said nothing. A few young men hang around nervously, and one girl appears to be accompanied by her mother instead. Avalon flits about the room, the basement of the clinic, gathering supplies and clearing up whatever else this room is used for when not a birthing class.

“You’re huge.” One girl comments, “you must be really close… 40 weeks?”

“No…” Delphine responds uncomfortably, “I have eight weeks to go.”

“I don’t know how you can get any bigger.” The girl mumbles, “you’re a month behind me.”

“Ladies,” Avalon calls in a no nonsense tone. “We’re about to begin. We’re going to have three sessions. Tonight will focus on preparing for labour. Next week we’ll cover birthing in greater detail. And the final session will focus on breastfeeding and infant care. Husbands, mothers and… friends,” Avalon continues with a kind glance in Cosima’s direction, "are welcome and encouraged to attend.

“Do we have to come all three weeks?” A young man, a boy really, asks …as if he can escape this.

“Yes.” Avalon tells him, “you’re going to be a father, and you should want to support your wife in labour. This is no time for squeamishness. I have to warn you, there are photographs and many contain nudity and graphic birth.”

“Graphic images warning.” Cosima giggles quietly besides her. She knows, they both know that Cosima is tired. Too tired for this, and yet, she refuses to leave, even as she has to sit rather than move around.

It’s informative, and helpful. Delphine has to admit by the end of the hour.

“Your friend isn’t well.” A woman she now knows as Xana’s mother tells her shaking her head. Sure enough, Cosima is pale, her eyes closing slightly.

“I’ll take her home.” Delphine assures her. “She’s recovering, don’t worry.”

“Good. Otherwise I’d have to tell you to find a new support person.” Avalon tells her, handing her a small envelope, no doubt full of required reading.

The girls stare at her, probably due to her age. Or perhaps the size her belly has managed to swell to a full two months before her due date.

“Cosima…” Delphine has to stir her awake, help her into her coat, and guide her out the door.

“I’m fine.” Cosima insists, walking slowly beside her.

It’s not until they’re home, until Cosima is settled comfortably in her room, the sick room. That she remembers what she has to tell her.

“I have a surprise for you.” Delphine offers softly, stroking Cosima’s forehead.

“Mmm?”

“A new treatment possibility.” She continues, “I’ll leave the information out for you tomorrow morning when I go to the lab.”

“What is it?”

“A match… Kira, is a match for you. And her genome is similar, maybe enough to help devise a treatment. But… with Sarah’s genome.”

“You analyzed Kira’s genome?” Cosima blinks, her eyes flying open. “Without her mother’s permission?”

“I was left alone with Kira, and she offered.” Delphine shrugs. “It was only a cheek swab.”   
“It doesn’t matter.” Cosima exclaims, her voice much louder than it had been all day. “If Sarah finds out what you did…”

“She won’t.” Delphine drops her voice. “No one knows, except you, me and Kira.”

“Right…” Cosima sighs. “Just… don’t get yourself killed. Please.”

“I won’t.” She assures her. Even as she stands, turning to go to her own bed, to undress and try to get some sleep. As if she needed another reason to fear assassination in her sleep. 

“Please Delphine…” Cosima begs softly.

“I’ll be careful, mon amour. Everything is going to be fine. We’ll treat you. I’ll have the baby, and we’ll have… our future.” Delphine breathes into the room, trying to soothe Cosima with her words. She has to try to be positive, to believe in that much, their future. Perhaps Cosima could come to the lab, they could work together and see what they could do together. Eight weeks should be enough to start a real treatment, to stabilize Cosima.


	19. Chapter 19

“Relax your birthing muscles.” Avalon instructs, leaning over Delphine as she leans over a small mat on all fours.

Delphine stifles a laugh, she’s not even sure what the midwife means, even as she shifts her hands and encourages her to try to relax. She knows she’s only the example because she’s alone, she’d left Cosima sleeping on the couch and hadn't been able to bring herself to wake her wife.

“See how Delphine is shifting her weight?” Avalon looks around the room, to what is likely the wide-eyed stares of teenagers. Though she’s since learned some of the girls are twenty or twenty-one. They’re just all so young, Delphine thinks again as a large yoga ball is rolled towards her and she’s encouraged to lean on it, rolling her hips. She drops her head, and seemingly relaxes every muscle in her upper body before Avalon is satisfied that she has performed labour accurately.

“This position may also be a comfortable one in labour. Vocalizing or moaning during contractions can help too.” Avalon places a hand on her back, “Delphine here is going to be an expert. Now, who’s next?”

Delphine finds herself resting, under the guise of practicing the moaning techniques from earlier in the session. Around the room, all the other pregnant women are reassured and cradled by their partners, often prompting correcting from Avalon as she repositions them.

Cosima cannot do that, Delphine realizes quickly. Her wife’s short stature aside, she’s recovering from surgery, she could not lean her weight into Cosima like that. And it makes her almost sad, she alone will have to find alternatives.

The class disperses, the other women helped to their feet by their partners or mothers, and the room begins to clear.

“Come here Delphine.” Avalon helps her to her feet and beckons her over to an examination room.

“What is it?” Delphine asks curiously.

“Oh, you seem off. I just want to check the fetal heartbeat, weight you… would you mind giving a urine sample?” Avalon attempts to make this sound very casual as she hands her a small sealed collection cup. It doesn’t look like there will be any arguing with this.

 

“Now?” Delphine looks down at the cup. She’s certain she could fill it, but why now? Why at night? She’s seeing the midwives every other week now. It’s mildly irritating, especially outside of her normal appointments.

“If you don’t mind, go fill that and then we’ll weigh you and check you over.” Avalon assures her pleasantly, and unable to think of a reason to protest, Delphine enters the small washroom. Sighing, she obediently fills the urine sample, before capping it and washing her hands.

“Just put it in the basket, thanks.” Avalon chirps at her cheerily, “On to the scale, let’s see where we’re at.”

Delphine steps onto the scale, careful to keep her eyes fixed straight ahead. “I do not want to know the number, take it, but do not tell me.” She informs Avalon. She’d seen the number last time, and she doesn’t need that thought bouncing around her head all night, again.

“Ah looks good. Excellent weight gain.” Avalon seems cheered by it, and pulls out the fetoscope, “do you mind lying down?”

She eases herself down and her shirt up, permitting Avalon to probe at her belly, smiling all the while.

“Everything looks and sounds great. Thanks Delphine, you can go now.” Avalon helps her to her feet again. “No Cosima this week?”

“She was asleep.” Delphine shrugs, “I didn’t want to wake her.”

“She’s not well, is she?” Avalon nods in agreement. “Though, her colour is better than when I first met her.”

“Cosima had lung surgery.” Delphine says as little as she thinks relevant. “I’m helping her as much as I can, but I am not…” She gestures around her belly. It’s obvious her physical capabilities are limited. Luckily, Cosima gets around well enough, grumbling about the pain half of the time. There’s no lifting involved, simply checking for infection, ensuring she takes the immunosuppressants, and monitoring her health. Though, soon enough she’d wean Cosima off the drugs, after all the lungs match perfectly, or nearly perfectly. She shouldn’t need them, theoretically, but it makes her nervous nonetheless. Despite countless other transplants she’s seen, despite all the research. Nothing has prepared her for her own lover having one, for the risk, even a slight one, to Cosima’s life.

“I understand.” Avalon grins again, “When I had my daughter I don’t think I was up to much the last couple weeks.”

 

“Just one child?” Delphine’s brow furrows again. That is unusual here, she’s seen most families have at least three or four children.

“Just one,” Avalon agrees nonchalantly. “Now, you go home and get some rest. And make sure to put your feet up.”

“I will.” She promises, that she can manage. If only for a few hours. She exits into the snow, coat pulled around her body. She feels like a whale, her feet entirely blocked out by her enormous belly.

The lab is quiet, there’s not much reason to stop off before home. Except that she’s fairly certain that Cosima will still be there. They have the test results, a planned treatment that should administer a more effective gene therapy, enhanced by Kira’s DNA. Not as effective as it would be with Sarah, necessarily, Delphine admits to herself, but should still be an improvement on the shorter lasting injections of stem cells that they have now. She manages her way up the stairs, unlocking the lab and opening the door, only to find Cosima still dozing, on the couch. This time with her limbs sprawled out.

“My love, what are you still doing here?” She glances around the lab, things seem messier. Like Cosima had been working. She'd thought perhaps Cosima had gone home, she'd left a note after all.

“Delphine?” Cosima blinks blearily. “I thought I’d get a start on this gene therapy thing. I mean, you were gone…”

“Did you inject yourself?!” Delphine drops her coat on an empty table and waddles forward. That shouldn’t happen. “You should have waited for me. I know the skin test looks good, but I want to do this for you.” Need would be a better word, she needs to know that Cosima will be alright. Will recover, and she is still the best one to help her.

“Nope, waiting for you for that. But I guess you went to childbirth ed without me… so it’s only fair to start without you.” Cosima pushes herself up with a smile. “It’s all ready, let’s give this a try.”

“You know, this would be better if we had Sarah…”

“We’re not getting Sarah to give a sample. It’s just not going to happen. Let’s just do this and then we can destroy any evidence you sampled Kira. I mean, the kid is good at keeping secrets, obvs, but I don’t want to tempt fate here.” Cosima tilts her head, observing her affectionately. “Everything okay?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods, not wanting to say too much. Now is the time to be the doctor, to inject Cosima with the gene therapy that should start reprogramming her DNA, stop the growths in her uterus.

“Just, inject me,” Cosima pleads. “Let’s get this started.” Perhaps Cosima too is concerned about the size of her belly, that she'll go early and be absolutely useless to her before the treatment can be begun.

“Alright.” Delphine agrees, moving to wash her hands as thoroughly as she can. “I’m not sure how much longer I can manage the lab anyways… you might have to do it. You’re okay on the stairs now?”

“I’m fine.” Cosima brushes her off, “I mean, I’m sore as hell sometimes. But my breathing is so much better. It is kind of weird to think about my lungs though. I mean, they’re like… half you.”

“Does it bother you?” Delphine asks, moving to prep the needle. There is no reason to discuss that, it's done now. “This should be pretty quick, and then we can go home.”

“I wonder what else we could do with gene therapy…” Cosima wonders aloud, even as she winces during the injection.

“Like?”

“I don’t know… maybe fix my reproductive organs so they actually work… Not like, to have a baby. Just to not have pain and just… be normal?” Cosima lets out the words in a muddle.

“Cosima…” Delphine softens, dropping the syringe and disposing of the sharp. She pulls the small brunette into her arms as best she can, her belly is a barrier with having Cosima as close as she’d like. She kisses her sweetly, Cosima can breathe, and she can certainly enjoy this, any sort of gentle attention. Cosima responds happily, arms going around her again, squeezing firmly and feeling...strong.

“Mmm.” The brunette hums as their lips break apart. “Let’s go home.”

Cosima doesn’t even let her clean up, instead she taps her watch and practically drags Delphine out of the lab. Pulling her through the snow, home as quickly as the two of them can manage, between Cosima’s recovery and her own waddling gait.

More stairs later, she’s finally in bed, her feet up, as instructed. Her belly ripples with motion from within, movements stronger now and she squeaks in pain when a sharp kick hits her ribs. That is something she doesn’t think she can get used to, even though she’s mostly enjoyed the pregnancy.

“Delphine?” Cosima stumbles in nearly as quickly. “Is something wrong?”

“Just kicking.” Delphine yawns, pulling the blankets around herself.

“It sounded like it hurt,” Cosima leans in, brushing blonde hair back from her face. She knows her roots are obvious now, but Cosima hasn’t said anything about them. Probably thinks it best to pretend that she doesn’t notice.

“Kick to the ribs does hurt.” Delphine summarizes quickly.

“Like… really?” Cosima leans in, both fascinated and concerned. “Are you sure it's supposed to hurt, maybe -”

She shakes her head. “Go to bed, Cosima.” It’s best that they both get their rest now.

“I want to sleep here.” Cosima pouts at her. “I don’t need the adjustable bed and the contraptions. I’d rather be here, even if you and your pillow pile take up more than half of the bed.”

“Soon.” Delphine promises, though she knows it’s likely the child may arrive before that point. “Go sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Cosima grumbles her way back to the other room. “I’m fine.” If she were to lean on Cosima in the night, if weight were to be put on her healing ribs that would be too painful. She misses Cosima, even as she adjusts herself for sleep, tossing and turning until the movements easy and she slips into an uneasy sleep.

**

Delphine wakes to Cosima sliding into her bed in the early morning, “Are you alright?” She asks sleepily. Sleep was harder for her now, and she didn’t appreciate being awoken. The grayish light tells her that it’s barely morning.

Cosima’s hands go to her body, “I want to feel close to you.” Her little wife spoons in eagerly behind her, probably hoping, that barely awake she will be less difficult.

  “Mmm.” Delphine hums and pulls Cosima’s hand around her belly, pressing it so that Cosima can feel the child move within. She feels gigantic, her belly now impossibly large. Often feeling like her child is an octopus the way it moves around inside her. And she’s just so content, for a moment she thinks she may drift back to sleep in Cosima’s arms.

For a few minutes, all is quiet, Cosima delighting at the motion against her hand as she leans in to lay kisses against her neck. It takes a few more sleepy moments to realize the kisses are not merely affectionate, neither are the hands reaching into her nightgown to fondle her breasts.

“Cosima… I… I am not sure I can do that anymore.” Delphine starts as Cosima pulls off her own nightgown, revealing her deep pink transplant scars, they’re healing yes, but still look so raw.

“Do what? Sex? Of course you can.” Cosima answers, unthinkingly, continuing her efforts, leaning in for a long deep kiss.

“I’m really too big now.” She giggles as Cosima encourages her to roll onto her back, happily shoving a pillow under her ass as if she hasn’t heard her. It’s too much, she wouldn't even be able to see Cosima if she were to choose to go down on her. “Cosima, I don’t think I can do much for you.” Delphine warns gently.

“Then just lay back,” Cosima insists gently, with a smile, “let me take care of this.” She adds another pillow, totally unfazed by her attempts at dissuasion.

“Shh.” Cosima lifts up her nightgown to reveal her belly, “Wow... when did that happen?” Cosima’s fingers gently touch at her stretch-marks. As she’d grown impossible larger, her skin had finally given in, pink marks across the sides of her belly like stripes. Delphine prefers not to think about them, to ignore them completely, and yet Cosima is drawn to them, tracing the lines curiously.

“A couple weeks ago.” Delphine responds apologetically.  She hadn’t been trying to hide them, but she wasn’t going to advertise it either.

“They’ll fade.” Cosima hums, “More importantly this little one is growing.” Cosima returns near instantly to her deep teasing kisses, sucking on her lower lip.

She can’t help it. She wants to laugh, she’s sure she looks absolutely ridiculous. She may only be a week or two away from giving birth and Cosima is trying to climb on top of her like some sort of horny adolescent.

“What is it?” Cosima murmurs out between kisses, working her way down her neck.

Delphine laughs, “I am too big… You can’t possibly want to… You can’t possibly be serious.”

“We’ll see about that.” Cosima responds with determination. “And I do want to, as long as you do.”

She giggles again madly, but lets her own hands trace a gentle path between Cosima’s ass, going up her back, careful to mind her ribs. She’s not sure they’ll get too far, but she’ll enjoy whatever closeness that Cosima offers. Surely, Cosima will give up. It seems like too much trouble to her.

“Kiss me.” She urges Cosima, they can manage that much. It’s gentle at first, until she teases Cosima with her tongue, and the reaction is more than she expects.

“Ah…” She lets out a noise as Cosima attempts to...mount her. There’s no other way to phrase it, and she’s giggling again.

“Shh… I’m doing my best here.” Cosima jokes back happily, kissing her again.

She’s too big, and not certain she believes that Cosima’s desire is genuine. Delphine knows that she couldn’t feel less sexy, but Cosima begins to touch her. Hand to an inner thigh, moving upward, stroking gently at her swollen sex.

“Oh I’ve missed you...” Cosima breathes. “It’s been too long.” A soft whine from her love is enough to stoke her desire further, and she whimpers back.

She feels fingers part and enter her easily, stroking deeply as Cosima leans back over her, intent on capturing her lips again. A first slow easy thrust, is quickly followed by another, growing steadier but never forceful.

“Yes…” Cosima sighs, as if she were the one being pleasured. “Yes. Yes. Yes…”

And it’s almost easy, at least from her reclined and comfortable perspective. Cosima is the one on her knees, balancing against her thighs and hovering over her. Her breaths steadier than she’s ever heard them, even in passion. She’s not sure what to do with her own hands, she wants to touch Cosima, to haul her in tight against her, but she must be gentle.

She can’t forget that she’s pregnant, not the stronger fetal movements, not the large belly between herself and Cosima. But she doesn’t care, not now in Cosima’s arms, not as Cosima’s lips leave her own, venturing lower, over swollen breasts, down over her belly until she disappears altogether.

“Cosima….”

“I’m right here… I want to be here.” Cosima assures her, leaning in once again. Her lungs strong enough to withstand this sort of passion.

And she can’t even see her Cosima, save for the arms moving up to hug her around the belly. But Delphine can only think of her beloved’s sweet tongue, teasing against her, soft lips bringing her ever closer to her peak.

Coming down, she’s soon spooned again, after a lengthy session of Cosima stroking her belly and cooing to it. More soft words emerging, as she kisses Delphine’s neck, her shoulder.

“How do you feel about… all of this?” Cosima whispers the question into the room, the growing daylight.

“Good…” Delphine sighs, there’s not a single complaint she can think of now. “What about you, are you happy?”

A soft laugh is the only response. “You can’t tell? I think I could get used to this, all of it.”

“Even the giant belly?” She teases back.

Cosima shifts from behind her. “I’m enjoying all of it,” Cosima assures, moving to meet her eyes.

“You… you are very weird.” Delphine decides finally. Though her smile clearly tells another story, of course she wants Cosima to want her. Wants all of this, as long as she can have it.

“Good.” Cosima shifts at the sound of a knock on the door, followed by another.

“It’s too early.” Delphine whines, moving to cover herself with the blankets.

“It’s too early for good news,” Cosima shakes her head, reaching for clothing to throw over her body. “I better get that.”


	20. Chapter 20

She stays huddled in the bed, sheets and blankets bunched around her. The voice she recognizes near instantly. Mrs. S. But the words remain muffled.

“Well… we don’t need to tell her that.” Cosima responds, much more clearly all of a sudden. “It won’t change anything.”

“Cosima…” Delphine calls out. “Who is there?”

“It’s Mrs. S… She just has news about DYAD, and Scott.”

Delphine struggles to pull on garments, at least enough that she’s covered, in the end she throws a nightgown over her head and wraps her dressing gown around herself. It feels wrong, vulnerable somehow, but it’s the fastest option.

“Scott got into DYAD.” Siobhan tells her casually. “Felix has lost contact with him, or had, this message is two weeks old.”

“That’s bad?” Delphine offers.

“Could be very bad.” Cosima wraps an arm around her, leaning her head into her shoulder. “But, it’s too soon to say really.”

“And you’re a fugitive.” Siobhan laughs, “there’s a whole press release on Delphine Cormier, stole several million dollars worth of DYAD property. You have a bounty on your head.”

Siobhan seems to find this very funny, sharing none of Cosima’s quiet concern.

“So much for using you later on…” Siobhan shrugs. “You’re useless in this fight now, except as a scientist.” Useless? As a pawn? As a spy? Delphine doesn’t have to reach far to see what the resistance had thought they might make her do. No, she was neither of those things.

“I have always been a scientist.” Delphine objects, “and a doctor.”

“See?” Cosima smiles tensely, “it doesn’t matter.”

“I am worried about Scott.” Delphine admits to Cosima privately, once Siobhan has left.

“Me too.” Cosima agrees, “but all there is to do is wait. It’s too soon to say anything except it’s too hard to contact Felix from the inside. Felix will keep trying. I hope.”

“Of course he will.” Delphine tries to reassure her, hands gently on her shoulders. But inwardly, she doubts it. Won’t Felix just leave him? The man hadn’t seemed to care much for her at all. Or Scott. Or anyone but his sister and her clones.

 

**

The weeks had dragged by, no news from Felix or Scott came, and if it had, it wasn’t directed at her. Delphine sighed, she hadn’t bothered to go the the lab. She didn’t want to go anywhere, her midwives had said to stay close to home. But when her due date came and went she found herself increasingly frustrated.

Somehow she had managed to delude herself into the fantasy that she would go early. That her baby would be so eager to be born she wouldn’t even make it to 40 weeks.

“It’s not unusual for first time moms to go 41 weeks.” Cosima says casually one afternoon. She’d read, she’d napped, she’d tried every stupid distraction she can think of. “A few more days won’t hurt.” Cosima said, in a tone Delphine knew was supposed to be comforting but just enraged her further.  
“I’m a beached whale. I cannot even see my toes! I can’t stand for long periods of time. I can’t sleep! I can’t do anything anymore!” Delphine exclaims quickly falling into tears, weeping on the couch. Nothing was easy, nothing was comfortable. Her bladder demanded near constant emptying, her child’s kicking, though more restrained, was enough to keep her awake on the many occasions throughout the night she woke to empty her bladder. And worst of all, the only sign of labour, braxton hicks, had turned out to be nothing. And according to her reading, could go on for days or even weeks without baby making his or her appearance.

“Woah... okay.” Cosima nods at her, reaching out for their couch to steady herself on her feet. “I wouldn’t say you can’t do anything, I mean, we made dinner last night. That was nice, right?” Cosima offers with a hopeful wince.

“I was supposed to give birth over five days ago.” Delphine whines finally. She’s overdue, and she’s huge and terrified that the baby is going to be absolutely enormous. Or worse, that it will be twins after all. Babies always end up coming out, one way or another. But why must her child have zero desire to make his or her exit?

“You know… I think this just happens sometimes.” Cosima offers cautiously. “It just takes some kids more time to cook. At least we know baby’s lungs will be done. No one stays pregnant forever.”

“They should be done now!” Delphine cries again, tears dripping down her face. She’s ridiculous, she’s faintly aware of it now, even as Cosima kisses her cheek. “I’m too big. And I am a failure… I can't even go into labour!” She exclaims finally. 

“No, no you’re not.” Cosima reassures. “I think you’re amazing.” Cosima’s hands reach to hold her belly, “and this, this is incredible…”

Cosima’s hands reach to pull up her dress, but she resists, making it difficult for her. Holding down the dark fabric with her hands.  
 “Cosima… no…” Delphine shakes her head between tears.

“I just want to see it.” Cosima pleads, continuing to push gently at the fabric until Delphine concedes and lets her. She watches Cosima kiss her protruded navel, kiss along one spectacularly pink stretch mark along the side of her enormous belly.

The child moves again, half of her belly shifting in the process. “Sors bébé,” Delphine pleads with her belly tearfully. “It’s time to come out.” Then Cosima can deal with you, and I can sleep, she thinks to herself. Though, the reality will likely prove very different.

“You have done a fantastic job.” Cosima tells her reassuringly. “Look, you did all this.” Hands run across her stretched taut skin. “This is gorgeous.”

Cosima has quite clearly lost it. Delphine decides instantly. Either that, or she wants to make love again really badly. Since she’d rather believe the latter, she pulls the dress the rest of the way off, letting her heavy breasts rest against her belly. She’s unsure of the attraction right now, but at least maybe sex would be a distraction. Even if Cosima lacks the ability to force her body into labour via direct delivery of prostaglandins to her cervix.

“Oh…” Cosima looks up in surprise. “You want to?” Her voice is hopeful, delighted.

She nods, not trusting her voice as she pulls Cosima to her mouth, pulling her up onto her knees. Cosima’s body, though scarred, feels good in her arms, even if a little small.

Cosima removes her pyjamas willingly. “Let’s go to bed then,” Cosima encourages after another lengthy kiss. “I want you to be comfortable.” 

Delphine scowls even as they walk slowly hand in hand to the bed. “I’m not…”

“Yes, I understand comfort is a very relative term right now. Which is why I am going to prop you up with pillows and you can just lay back and enjoy.” Cosima sighs, letting her body flop down on Delphine’s bed. “Unless you want to be on top…”

“I’m too heavy.” Delphine shakes her head. She’d probably crush Cosima in her current state. And Cosima is still delicate, still recovering. Though the even sounds of her breaths is so reassuring, even now.

“Nah… besides if you’re on top the belly is out of the way. “ Cosima grins, holding out her hands for her.

“Do you really want to?” Delphine asks, even as Cosima’s pulled her in, stretching up to kiss her, this time slow and open mouthed.

“Yes…” Cosima sighs. “Always.”

It’s awkward, and probably ill advised, even as she lets Cosima shake off what little garments separate them. It’s nothing adventurous or fancy, Cosima just touches her, kissing her face, her neck, her breasts. And it doesn’t really satisfy, her uterus stretched to capacity makes it too difficult to slip over the edge. Eventually, it leaves her unsure if she does, Cosima raises her eyebrows and looks about to double her efforts when she changes her mind.

“Let’s try you instead,” Delphine offers, and this seems even more impossible, but they manage to find a position, lying next to each other, where she can touch. And it’s been too long, far too long for either of their liking.

Cosima’s body, Cosima’s sounds, are at the very least a temporary distraction, though even her love’s pleasure can’t make her forget she’s overdue and uncomfortable. Delphine knows she’d like to be able to just collapse on top of Cosima, to work into her like she used to, when it was easy, when her belly was small, or before the child was conceived at all.

“That feels good.” Cosima smiles at the gentle brush of her fingers, at the easy way they slip in, curling just so. It’s much like she remembers it, Cosima’s body, Cosima’s sex, Cosima’s orgasm.

When she slips from her, Cosima scoots in, immediately moving to cuddle, to rest her head on her chest.

“I really love you.” Cosima whispers, laying a kiss to her shoulder. “Like... crazy head-over-heels, love-of-my-life, mad insane love.”

“Je t’aime aussi.” Delphine responds, it’s not the time to whine about being pregnant. Even though she wants to complain again. It just feels too peaceful cozied up with Cosima, in their bed. This is lucky. This is something they may not have time for tomorrow, or next week.

It’s silly, but in her heart, this all began on Leda 4. Their love. This child, even though … that was truly later, without Cosima, without all of this, the child would not exist.

Somehow she manages to drift off to sleep with Cosima playing with her hair. When she awakens, a few hours later, it’s dark again. The late afternoon sun long gone as Cosima snores beside her, body turned away in sleep and face pressed into a pillow.

She feels strange, nauseous, and sore. She cramps again, her body tightening like before, only now she notices the muscles relax after. Relief.

Is this it? Delphine wonders. Has she finally gone into labour? Unable to sleep she lies awake, waiting for the next wave, for confirmation that this is it.

**

She manages to drift in and out of consciousness, in bed beside Cosima, but the small noises she makes when the cramping comes again makes her worry that she will wake Cosima. That is the last thing she wants. Cosima should rest, as long as possible. She’s still delicate, still recovering, Delphine knows this well.

She settles for the sofa, leaning over it during the worse of it, swaying her body like in her ridiculous childbirth education classes, ass stuck in the air. She loses track of the minutes, she’s not timing them, it is at the very most early labour after all. But her stomach churns unpleasantly.

Her nausea propels her to the bathroom, retching as she vomits. Rinsing out her mouth she feels another wave hit. Contraction? Delphine wonders again.

She turns on the shower, cranking the heat before practically crawling into the tub on her hands and knees, letting the spray hit her lower back, she moans loudly, feeling that now Cosima won’t hear her.

It’s quiet, restful almost, and at least if she is having stupid contractions, she’s not going to be overdue much longer. She lets herself lose count, lose track of everything but the pains in her body and the water pressure on her body.

The light switches on suddenly, she hadn’t turned the light on. Delphine blinks in confusion for a moment, before the curtain pulls back. She’s woken up Cosima, she notices between the waves of her contractions.

Her love looks down at her, at first with concern, and then with a small smile.

“Hey. You alright?” Cosima mutters at her, pulling back the curtain of the shower to find her on her hands and knees in the tub.

Delphine stops, looking up at Cosima. “Yes.” What else is there to say? None of this was unexpected. Though perhaps on Leda 4, she’d have had access to a wide array of pain relief, though at this moment she doesn’t really want it.

“Wow. It’s like showtime isn’t it? I’ll call the midwives.” Cosima moves from the room slowly, looking back over her bare shoulder. Her entirely bare body, Cosima hasn’t bothered to dress.

“And get dressed.” Delphine calls out after her, before dropping her head again, wanting to resume her comfortable position. Another wave crashes over her and she groans, rocking under the spray of the shower.

 

The memory of getting from the bathroom to the living room is fuzzy, however, burying her face in Cosima’s lap as she leans on her knees over the couch is where she is when the door clicks open.

“I’m here.” Kendra’s voice calls out, “thanks for leaving the door open. So, baby finally decided he’s done cooking?”

“Looks like it.” Cosima tells her, as she strokes Delphine hair, as she listens to the noises she makes. “So… what do we do now?”

“Well, when this contraction is over, I’ll examine Delphine. And then we wait.”

“Just wait?” Cosima balks. “You can’t like.. Give her gas? Sarah had gas when she had Kira.”

“Yes. No. And there is a lot of waiting in labour.” Kendra informs her. “Most of it, very boring. Boring is good. A boring birth is a safe birth.”

“Hear that Delphine? Baby?” Be boring.” Cosima jokes, but the tension in her voice is clear enough.

“I’m okay.” Delphine reassures her, when she pulls her head up to look at Kendra, and then at Cosima. “I’m fine.”

**

  
Fine doesn’t last, the intensity builds, her quiet moments between contractions disappear. But instead of screaming, Delphine goes quiet, makes the stupid low vocalizations she’s supposed to make. They’re still in the living room, turns out leaning over the couch is the only way she can cope with contractions after all. Any attempts to move her to the bedroom, or even the suggestion of filling the bath make her cranky.

“You’re doing so well. So well.” Cosima’s voice reassures her, as fingers stroke gently through her hair.

“Je peux pas... Je peux pas,” Delphine chants, groaning with her contractions, now seemingly ceaseless, eyes clenched shut. She buries her face in Cosima’s neck and moans deeply.

Even without looking she can tell Kendra is asking Cosima to translate.

“You can, you can.” Cosima repeats, “You are...”

“Non...” Delphine whines, “Je peux pas l’accoucher. This is a mistake.” This was a terrible idea. Having a baby. Giving birth. What had she been thinking?

“Bit late now.” Cosima teases, unable to help herself.  

“Transition.” Kendra nods, “We’re so close now, so close to meeting your baby. Your body is going to do it, like it or not.”

“Cosima.” She whines into her lover’s neck, not caring, for the moment, if Kendra suspects the truth of the two of them.

Cosima jumps to reassure her, “I’m here, right here with you. You’re not alone.” 

This is insane, this is ridiculous. Why had she wanted a baby again? What sort of stupidity was this. And yet, there’s an undercurrent of excitement, the waiting is almost over. Her child is almost here. Their child is almost here.

 

She’s pushing before she’s told to, her body instinctively reacting. She feels something, fluid, her waters breaking as soon as she tries to push.

“What?”

“Just your waters, totally normal.” Kendra pats her hip with a gloved hand. “Keep going, you’re fully dilated, push away.”

So much instinct, dropping to her hands and knees, strong uterine muscles pistoning down. She can still feel the child moving downwards, so close now.

“Oh that’s good.” Kendra pats her back during a break to breathe, “Good Delphine, you’re doing this.”

“This is better than contractions.” Delphine breathes out in relief, able to push with the pressure, off and on. And she can feel it, the baby’s head. She wants it out, as soon as possible.

Delphine breathes her words, not censoring anything. “Viens mon bébé.”

Kendra announces happily, “Oh, look at that, baby has hair.”

“Reach down and feel!” Kendra encourages her, and she does, hand finding her child’s head, covered in hair, “We’re almost there, one more push and you’re done.”

She breathes as instructed, waiting for the next contraction to push her child out. To get this birthing over with. The thought elates her.

“Do you want to catch, Cosima?” Kendra offers, “Come here.”

Cosima moves away from her and she’s not sure why for a moment. “Cosima. No... ” Cosima’s hands move away from her face and she doesn’t want it, not like that. But there’s no time as the next pain hits, she’s pushing again.

“I’ll be right back,” Cosima assures her, patting her hip.

The last of the pressure subsides with push and a squirm from inside of her, she feels the child slip from her body with a tiny cry.

“I caught her.” Cosima’s breathless with delight, another little cry follows, “Oh she’s perfect. Hello tiny human.”  
   
Her arms are instantly far too empty, “Mon bébé.” Delphine insists, “Give me my baby.” 

“Okay, we’re going to pass her through your legs, reach down and take her Delphine.” Kendra nods, motioning to Cosima. The baby squirms, slippery but she takes her with shaking hands.

“Elle? Her?” She draws her, wet, red and wrinkled into her arms, pressing her child to her chest, “Oh mon bébé...” She coos at her, strong hands guiding her down to sit again. The baby’s umbilical cord is wrapped around her body like little suspenders, still dark purple and pulsing. Dark hair covers her head, and she squirms against Delphine’s skin causing her to laugh, little legs now kicking from the outside.

“It’s a girl, Delphine, we have a daughter.... you have a daughter.” Cosima tries to censor her speech too late. Moving to hover behind Delphine, hands stroking back her sweaty hair, before pulling away.

“Yes. You have a daughter. Good size too!” Kendra nods with a smile, reaching for a warm towel to lay over them both. “Go on, Cosima, hold her. Delphine.” She clarifies with a shake of her head when Cosima’s hands reach for the baby.

“You knew?” Cosima looks over, one hand on their baby’s back.

“Yes.” Kendra nods again, palpating at Delphine’s belly, “The whole time... I let you catch, didn’t I?”

Delphine lets herself sink back for a moment, reclined and resting against Cosima, “The cord blood.” She remembers suddenly, “We need to harvest the cord blood.”

“No, it belongs in her.” Cosima argues, “Let it pulse, she needs it Delphine, not me.” 

“Cosima...” Delphine finally turns to look at Cosima pleadingly. She knows they have a treatment plan, but what if? What if they need it?

“I advise against cutting the cord right now.” Kendra states firmly. “We usually let it finish pulsing completely.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Cosima reassures her. “I am not going to cut the cord right now.”

“We’ll wait a bit." Kendra advises them both. “It’s time for a little rest.”

 

“You’re going to need a name tiny human,” Cosima coos happily as they admire their baby.

“Céleste.” Delphine suggests, “I want to call her Céleste.”


	21. Chapter 21

Delphine feels so peaceful, laid back on Cosima’s lap, her newborn daughter on her chest, that she’s not sure she’s ever felt so elated. Perhaps it’s hormones. Or the relief from labour ending. Either way, she tears her eyes away from the baby’s face to look up at Cosima.

“Hey.” Cosima murmurs down at her, still stroking her hair.

“Hi.” Delphine smiles, returning to face her child. The name could wait, she and Cosima could bat it around until they agreed on something. But for now, this was perfect.

“Great job.” Cosima offers somewhat meekly. “You did really great. Like, way better than I would have done.”

Delphine just shakes her head, “I did what I had to do. I’d do it again to get her.” She pauses, stroking her daughter’s wet head. “I guess I should try to latch her on.”

“No, leave her between your breasts. She can latch herself on.” Kendra assured them. “Some babies will. I’ve seen it, can take a while though… I guess it’ll depend if we have enough time.” She doesn’t put away her equipment, but Delphine assumes the midwife is surveying the...damage between her legs. Did she tear? She wasn’t even sure anymore.

Cosima looks doubtful.

“Can she really?” Delphine asked, stroking fingers down her daughter’s slippery back.

Small slippery legs kick at her as her daughter draws a hand to her salivating mouth. The baby turns her head against Delphine’s skin, mouth open and searching.

“She can.” Kendra reassures as the child pushes herself up, seeking. Without success.

“She’s… strong?” Delphine looks down, mystified by this. Her baby can move like that? Propel herself against her body with her leg, lift her head.

“Can’t we like… help her?” Cosima suggests. “The poor kid just wants to find the nipple.”   Celeste lets out a small cry as if she agrees, moving again still seeking.

A small hand grabs for her breast, failing twice before managing to squeeze at her nipple.

“If she needs it…” Kendra pauses considering, before checking her watch under her glove. “It can take a long time, we’ll see if she gets there… if not, we might speed things along for her.”

“Well she found it.” Cosima tilts her head curiously, brushing sweaty curls back from Delphine’s face. It’s slow, and minutes pass with half mumbled conversations, resting back on Cosima’s lap seems perfect right now, her love’s thighs as a pillow, her child squirming on top of her.

She watches the child edge closer to the breast, raising her head several times before she has success and latches on. She thought they’d have to cut the cord, but the baby is still attached by it and it doesn’t impede either of them.

“Oh.” Delphine exclaims in surprise. “Déjà faim ma belle?” Of course there is no answer, just more suckling in response.

“Shouldn’t we like weigh her?” Cosima asks, “like, are we supposed to?”

“Soon.” Kendra assures them, “we’ll let her have her first little feed, cut the cord and then I’ll weigh her for you.”

“Good!” Cosiam grins madly above her head. “Because I want to hold her.”

The calm sets in, like it’s finally over. All the waiting, all the agony, all leading up to this. Their perfect little human. Cosima is happy. She’d had a girl, like her love had wanted, and soon she’ll sleep without pressure on her bladder.

The door clicks open, Avalon’s tired face appearing. “I came as soon as I could. I had another delivery across town. Little boy. He’s doing well. We should send someone to check on them this afternoon.” Why another midwife? Why now when everything is over with. Unless Kendra is going to leave them in Avalon’s care. She thinks quickly they should protest when she watches brown eyes skim over them both, eyebrows raising briefly.

Avalon, to her credit, says nothing of how she and Cosima are reclined, or the intimacy of it.

“You missed it.” Cosima comments laughing, “we’re all done here.”

“It’s barely started.” Avalon looks at her directly, and begins unpacking her case.

“Avalon.” Kendra warns, from her spot, crouched on the floor.

“What?” Cosima looks between the two midwives. “But we’re done? Right? Baby’s out. Placentas can’t be that complicated.”

Her suspicions hit an all time high, she reluctantly looks up, away from the tiny perfect face of her newborn. “Is there, just one?” Delphine asks finally, directing her question to Kendra.

Kendra shakes her head, “two heartbeats. But we didn’t want to raise your anxiety. Your test results were good - there was no reason to do anything. Except keep an eye on you. First time moms usually get two midwives anyway, Avalon was supposed to join us sooner, but her last delivery was complicated.”

“What?” Cosima scoffs, looking back at the midwives, “you’re joking, right? We… we get another one? Like… you could have warned us!”

“Non…” Delphine breathes very softly. It’s second twins they always worry about. That they warn you about. Not to mention, having to labour and push again.

“Ready for baby number two?” Avalon asks as she joins Kendra on the floor. “How did the first one go?”

“First baby was easy, normal presented. Birth about a half-hour ago. Looks like baby two is breech, but not quite engaged yet.” Kendra comments, “low though, it shouldn’t be long.”

“What?” Cosima glances around again, as if she expects to be told this is all some kind of prank. As if midwives thought this was funny.

“Jumeaux…” Delphine mumbles, “Je ne veux pas des jumeaux.” A familiar tension returns to her body, as her uterus contracts yet again. Though this time, she only wants to cry. Not that she’s not concerned for this baby. For his safety, because the karyotypes she remembers, there was only one XX embryo and two XY, this child… will he be alright?

“OK,” Avalon looks them over, “let’s get that cord cut.”

“What next?” Kendra regards Avalon, much like a teacher quizzing her pupil, as if to them, this was just another stage in education. Despite knowing Avalon was fully trained.

Avalon reaches over, removing the towel, and adjusting the baby’s position as gently as she dared, this first feed cut extremely short. “You can try nursing her again after. But she’s been out nearly 30 minutes, and I want this clamped so we can work on getting this other baby out.” Avalon is brisker, more business-like, and perhaps it’s because of them, their relationship. But she clamps the cord without much second thought before pulling out her sterilized scissors.

“Cosima?” Kendra prompts, “go take the scissors from Avalon and cut between the clamps.”

Avalon hands the scissors over with a shrug, “go on.”

Cosima does, smiling all the while, “now it’s my turn to hold you, tiny human.” The name, it seems, is still undecided, but there’s time for that Delphine decides. Surely she and Cosima can come to some agreement.

“Delphine, we want this baby out, so up on your knees for a bit.” Avalon instructs, passing the child to Cosima in a towel, and physically helping Delphine up. “Don’t panic, just relax and we’ll see if we can get these contractions going again.”

“Should we…” Delphine bites her lip, “should we go to the hospital? Call for an ambulance?” Though she has to admit she hadn’t even seen an ambulance since she’d been here, if it even exists.

Kendra pulls out the fetoscope leaning in for a long listen, “I have delivered twins before, this is nothing I can’t handle.”

“Is he… okay?”

“He… or she is fine.” Kendra smiles, “maybe a little too comfy.”

“Well, it explains a few things.” Cosima shushes her, their daughter tucked safely into her arms.

“Second twins are easier, “ Kendra attempts reassurance. “He or she will come right out.. Second sac, so we may have a little wait on our hands. But nursing your little one, may just help us get things moving again.”

“What is time of birth on the first twin?” Avalon asks, apparently making notes on her delivery.

“7:15 am.” Kendra tells her without hesitation. “I got here around 3:30 am. Everything looked really good, smooth delivery. I’m just going to weight this one,” She briefly takes the infant, placing her into the fabric sling of her portable scale and raising it to get a measurement. “3.26 kilograms. Just over 7 lbs.”

Small. Delphine thinks, her baby is on the smaller side, but still in the realm of normal.

“We’ll get this one out,” Avalon assures Delphine with a kind hand to the shoulder, she sees her smile when she notices her tense with the next contraction. “Good… “ A firm hand checks the baby’s position, palpating firmly.

“Cosima, take the baby,” Avalon instructs, “and sit back.”

“Breech. And engaged.” Kendra announces, “looks like this one is coming out ass first.”

Avalon giggles, “not ideal. But we’ll manage.” It’s strange hearing such a serious midwife make that sound, she almost forgets Avalon is on the younger side, perhaps, not that much younger than herself.

 

“Non…” She feels the urge to push again, but she resists. Not a breech. Not a twin… She should ask for a doctor, demand for more attention. Was it too late to turn the baby?

“Delphine,” Kendra tries reassuring her, trying to soothe her with her voice. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Non… it’s dangerous.” Delphine cries. It’s not the ideal position for delivery, she knows a handful of doctors that will deliver breeches, others who would have immediately scheduled a cesarean upon learning that there were twins, or that the child was breech. Avalon continues to palpate her belly, smiling when she feels her contract again.

“Oh god…” Cosima looks on at the scene, clinging to the baby already in her arms. “Is… is everything okay?”

“Everything will be fine, Cosima.” Kendra says softly. “We’re just going to get baby out, nice and easy.”

“It’s fine. Stop crying, you’ll waste your energy.” Avalon’s no-nonsense tone tries to curb the panic. “Delphine, listen to what I am telling you, I want you back on your hands and knees and I want you to push.”

It hurts, Delphine thinks, it’s much worse than pushing out a head, it’s awkward and she fears she’s not making any progress. What if the baby becomes stuck? What if they both die? What if….?

“Good girl, Delphine. Now stop thinking, and just push.” Kendra pats her, moving to support her as she switches places with Avalon, letting the younger midwife be more hands on.

“Good… just with the contractions, there’s no rush to this.” Avalon instructs, “deep breaths, and little pushes. Slow is better, you already have a skidmark and I don’t want you to tear.”

She strains, and pushes again. She doesn’t want to ask what Avalon means by ‘skidmark’, she certainly doesn’t want to tear.

“And … it’s a bum.” Cosima announces. Delphine can only presume Cosima is watching the delivery from a safe distance, as she pushes again, wanting this child out so badly. Not just for the relief, as with his sister, but to know that he is alright, that he won’t be harmed by his slightly unconventional delivery. That the cord won’t be too short. That his head won’t become trapped.

“Stop thinking, breathe and push.” Kendra instructs softly, patting her head. “That’s a girl, and again.”

“And legs.” Avalon addes, as Delphine feels a finger help pull the child’s feet free. “And… it’s a boy. One of each, mommy.” She addresses Delphine, but perhaps Cosima thinks it is for her.

“Let’s get him the rest of the way out.” Kendra rubs her back again, “breathe, and push… little pushes.”

“Arms are free.” Cosima’s voice rings out happily, almost cheerfully, “just the head to go.” Delphine wonders for a moment if Cosima is completely deluded.

“Non… I don’t want to hurt him…” And it’s irrational, fearing the boy’s head will become trapped, that his little neck will be damaged.

“Stop thinking and push!” Avalon shouts at her, hands moving to catch the child as he finally slides free. He cries instantly.

“He’s okay.” Delphine lets herself breathe, lets herself relax. “He’s okay.”

“He’s perfect.” Avalon tells them, seeming very satisfied with all of this. “I’ll just untangle him from his cord and then you can hold him.”

“He’s tiny!” Cosima squeals, “oh…”

This time, she lets Kendra move her, they lay her back on the floor, grabbing a cushion to put under her head, before placing her second child into her arms. He’s fairer than his sister it seems, but still has a fair amount of wispy wet hair stuck to his head.

“Allô bébé…” Delphine greets him, unable to resent this immediately. “Allô Léo…” She remembers the name Cosima wanted, and she’s certain that Cosima is beaming at them.

“Here.” Cosima returns his sister to Delphine’s chest to lay next to him. Putting the towel over the three of them. “You earned it, you’re the one doing all the work, maman.”

“At least it’s over.” Delphine lets out a sigh, she’s elated and terrified, but expressing something other than joy would be wrong, would be completely out of place. She has two healthy, breathing, pink children with delicate tiny fingers, and perfect little toes. Their tiny lips move as they whimper and squirm, seemingly content in her arms.

“We still have placentas to go.” Kendra looks back at them, “but yes, we are much closer to done.” She smiles, looking at the babies. “It won’t be long now, usually takes about a half hour on its own. And we don’t speed things up unless there’s an emergency.”

“Well done, Delphine,” Avalon pats her shoulder. “Well done. Now you get your break, enjoy them.”

“Delphine, look at how perfect they are.” Cosima coos, “oh look at them.”

She looks at the tiny naked people pressed to her own body, they squirm and grunt, but seem content pressed to her skin. Perhaps they can smell the milk, she wonders if the midwife had a point.

Delphine regards her second born, her son, with concern. “He’s very small.”

“But he’s healthy.” Kendra subs in, “they both look really good Delphine. And we’ll give them both a thorough check before we go. And someone will be by tomorrow morning to look in again.”

“You did an amazing job.” Cosima assures. “Just… oh …can I hold one? Again?” Cosima’s voice betrays only excitement, none of the fear Delphine feels at instantly having two children.

“We want to make sure they can both feed before we leave.” Avalon informs her, “we’ll make sure they can nurse, make sure we get all the placenta out… and then we’ll be on our way.”

 

**

At last she gets to go to bed, with her new children. But sleep doesn’t come. She stares at them, admires them, fusses over them. Worries intensely about her life now, when she feeds them both her arms are occupied and she still needs help, mostly to get them into position. And it’s mid afternoon and she’s stuck in bed, useless, except to her infants.

But perhaps it is Cosima’s reaction to their children that bring her the greatest joy. And the fact that she was finally done, that maybe she could sleep, if not through the night, then at least without having to empty her bladder during the small stretches of sleep she hopes to accumulate. But when will she sleep with two of them?

“Oh, tiny humans.” Cosima looks down happily, a blanket wrapped bundle in each arm. “Look at you…”

Delphine tries to rest, she’s fed them both multiple times, lain with the two of them on her bare chest under a towel for the better part of the last three hours. But, despite feeling wired, Kendra and Avalon had insisted she try to rest as much as possible. Rest, rest may never be possible again with two squalling infants demanding her attention with loud wailing pleas for milk and comfort. How was she going to manage to finish treating Cosima? How was she supposed to tie two tiny delicate babies to her body and carry on?

“Celeste and Leo.” Cosima grins down at their babies, completely oblivious to the problems they have just inherited. “You are both so perfect.”

She loves them, she knows she does, even as her son squawks and she shushes him. “Ne pleurez pas mes anges.” Delphine coos, even as Cosima is passing her a loosely wrapped baby in a blanket.

“We’re going to need more diapers.” Cosima grimaces slightly.

“Yes.”

“And maybe, some help.” Cosima suggests, “though honestly, having Alison here even just doing our laundry would probably drive both of us insane… she’s a total control freak.”

“We’ll manage.” Delphine says, trying to sound a lot more confident than she feels. They will manage, she thinks as she moves to latch a whimpering, rooting newborn to her breast, because they have to manage. There is no other option.


	22. Chapter 22

Delphine looks down at her babies, and can’t help but smile even through her tears. It’s not even been a full day and already she was unable to hold her composure at all.

Cosima had been horrified by her tears, attempting to calm her, offering her more food, offering to take an infant and pace with them to give her a break.=  
She didn’t need a break. Not yet, she didn’t need anything. There was nothing else to do. A child latched to each breast, each suckling colostrum in gulps, before dozing off, the nipple still in their mouths. Beginning again, cycles of this, and her milk wasn’t even in yet.

Cosima… She wasn’t even sure what Cosima was doing. She’d made her run the placentas down to the lab yesterday - if only they’d still had Scott. Or the cord blood, irritation stirs beneath her tears. Cosima hadn’t listened, hadn’t even bothered fetching the collection containers. It wasn’t that she was unaware of the benefits of delayed cord clamping, it was that she had plans for those cells. Now lost. Placenta would yield some stem cells, some fetal, some her own… it was better than nothing, Delphine decided. If Cosima had even followed through on that.

This was her life now, Delphine thinks bleakly looking down at her needy babies. She adores them, loves them already, like an idiot. But what kind of life was this for a doctor? For a scientist? For her Cosima? She’s supposed to take care of her. Supposed to ensure Cosima’s recuperation continues as planned, not stuck in a bed attending to infants. Her newborns seem to barely sleep, though supposedly that will improve when her milk comes in. Which could not happen fast enough for her liking.

“I don’t get it.” Cosima’s voice wanders in from the hall. “She just keeps crying…”

“No, not the baby. Delphine.” Cosima emphasizes, “all Celeste does is eat and sleep.”

Does Cosima resent her? Resent their lives? How will she ever make it back to the lab with two babies in tow? What was she supposed to do? Tie them both to her body and struggle her way to the lab? She supposes she could, in another week or two. But Cosima wouldn’t even let her leave the bed for longer that it takes to shower or relieve herself.

“She made me run the placentas down to the lab to collect fetal and maternal stem cell samples… the day they were born… like she’s just gotten worse.” Cosima worries into the phone.

Delphine sobs harder, all this. Hormonal crashing post-pregnancy, and Cosima thinks she’s lost it. This could not get worse.

“Like… yeah. We want as much baby diapers and clothes and crap as we can get… in the meantime I just keep washing diapers… Woo. Yeah. Bye Siobhan.” And with that Cosima hangs up.

Delphine lets out a wail, and no sooner has Cosima entered the room that she can’t hold it together anymore.

“Oh… Delphine…” Cosima slips off her shoes, crawling onto the bed to lay beside her. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No… it’s not.” She chokes out in response.

“We’re fine…”

“Non…”

“Why are you so upset? Is this postpartum hormone crash? Or is this something else?” Cosima eyes her, looking at not only the babies filling her arms, but her tearstained face, her still somewhat swollen body.

“I can’t… I can’t take care of you like this.” Delphine cries apologetically. She’s useless to Cosima like this, especially until she recovers from giving birth.  
“What? You don’t have to.” Cosima assures. “I mean, look, surgery is done. I’m breathing… will you please let me sleep in here with you now?”

“But the babies… they’ll wake you.” Delphine tries to remind her.

“Yes… so?” Cosima tosses back. “You can do feedings. I’ll do diapers… we’ll manage it together.”

“But your disease… the lab…” Delphine looks up at Cosima, hoping she’ll understand. Instead a familiar hand keeps stroking her hair, staring down at her. Down at their babies.

“Delphine…” Cosima looks at her pleadingly. “You have to let me take care of you now, okay?”

She sobs a little more. But there’s nothing left to do. “Okay.” She answers, looking at her wife tearily. A sweet kiss is pressed to her mouth, followed by a kiss to the neck.

“We’ve got this.” Cosima assures her. “Plus with the nurses looking in, and … Alison rallying more baby stuff for us… it’s all going to be fine.”

She tries to believe her. She has to. Two little humans depend on her, and Cosima as well. But perhaps now, they will depend on each other.

 

**

  
“You sure you want to do this?” Cosima eyes her warily, Leo already attached to her own chest in a wrap.

“I need to get back to my lab. And we have an appointment.” Delphine insists, as she finished tucking Celeste into the wrap on her own body, ensuring the newborn is secure. With both infants fed and sleepy, now was the time to leave and she can’t have Cosima arguing with her anymore.

“The midwives said they could come by… even though it’s been three weeks.”

“No, let’s go…we’ve got them on, we’re bundled up, the diapers are packed, the blanket for them… let’s go now.” Delphine insists, finally leaving the apartment. Any longer in the confined space and she was going to go completely stir-crazy.

“Okay… Just take it easy, please.” Cosima eyes her as she makes her way down the stairs in front of us. “Hah.. if my former advisors could see me now. Taking my babies to the lab.”

“If mine could see me.” Delphine laughs as well, making sure to watch her step cautiously. Tom, of course, is in the shop and offers them a wave as they make their way outside. Their landlord has said little about the babies, or their obvious coparenting. Perhaps he didn’t notice or was happy to look the other way.

“Uh… wasn’t your advisor Leekie?” Cosima looks at her with a grimace.

“Yes.” Delphine nods. “For the PhD… Anyway, I don’t think this was quite what he had in mind.” She looks to Cosima, to their joined hands, as they make their way to the clinic, the overstuffed diaper bag slung over Cosima’s shoulder.

Cosima smiles at that, at least.

“Oh wow…” Avalon gapes at them when they arrive. “You made it.”  
Other mothers sit with tiny babies, or children. They still look too young to Delphine, but at least one of the mothers she recognizes from her childbirth class, now holding tiny babies. Little more than a child herself, Xana sits nearby another young mom cradling her child.

“Twins?” Xana laughs looking over at them, her own son latched on to feed. “That explains a lot.”

“I know.” Delphine nods, adjusting the wrap to pull Celeste from it. “Céleste and Léo.” She points at her daughter, and her son, barely visible sleeping against Cosima’s chest.

Twins it seems, were uncommon enough to draw a few stares and more than a few comments. Which one was the good one. How did they handle it. Or, in the case of a few strange mothers, how lucky she was… The whole thing made her furrow her brow. She’d never wanted this…. it was just the result of a choice she made almost a year ago.

Avalon eyes the two of them, “Delphine, we’ll take you now… get your babies weighed and looked at before one of them gets cranky.”

“They don’t get cranky.” Cosima subs in, “they just get hungry, they eat, and then they fall asleep again… mostly.” She shrugs.

Either way, they stand and follow the midwife. No sense sitting here getting far too much attention for either of their liking. Especially considering their relationship.

She watches Avalon place Celeste, and then Leo in the scale, smiling as she records their weights. She knows they’re gaining, she knows that soon they will be chubby on her milk the way things are going. It provides a strange sense of pride, if a lot of exhaustion.  
“Now, we need to talk about family planning.” Avalon informs them dryly. “It is my responsibility to warn you that we cannot accurate predict when fertility will return for the average woman - typically if you’re nursing around the clock you can trust it for six months, but there’s huge variation. So do not rely on breastfeeding as contraception. Please take a pamphlet.”

“We really don’t need it.” Cosima looks over at Delphine with a half-smile, “no sperm… plus… she’s not even six weeks postpartum… isn’t that like the bare minimum?”

“You’d be surprised how many babies we wind up delivering far too soon after a sibling.” Avalon shrugs, directing her attention solely at Delphine. “This is just part of the job. We can give people condoms, usually… but we can’t guarantee a constant stock…”

“Avalon, Cosima and I are a couple.” Delphine offers, as she leans down to coo at her sleepy babies. So perfect, especially when they are asleep.

“Well, you had these two somehow… so I am assuming you know how that works.” Avalon looks at her critically. “Just take a pamphlet so I can say I’ve done my job, and then we’ll get you examined as well.”

“Great…” Cosima teases, “another pantless exam. I’ll watch these two.”

“Cosima…” She chides her, but hops up onto the table the same, shrugging out of her pants and underwear. She hates being exposed now, things still look too different. There’s no bothering with hospital gowns out here, or paper sheets. No show of leaving the room for privacy, people out here simply don’t care enough.

Avalon gloves up, and takes a look. “Oh, your lochia has stopped… when?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods. “No discharge since yesterday morning.” She’d been happy when the blood had turned to discharge, but pleased it had stopped altogether. It was another annoyance she didn’t need.

“That’s good.” Avalon nods. “Well, you’re fine to have sex.”

“Awesome.” Cosima mutters from somewhere behind her.  
“What?” Delphine sits up suddenly. “It hasn’t been six weeks!”

“The risk of infection stops when the lochia does.” Avalon surmises simply. “Anyway, take a pamphlet. You’re healing up well… skid marks are better than tears…”

Delphine looks behind Avalon, Cosima is sliding Leo back into the wrap with a mischievous look on her face. She sighs quietly.

“Any concerns?” Avalon looks over her chart again, “I know they’re eating well, so keep that up…”

“No… they eat. They sleep. They’re babies.” Delphine summarizes quickly.

“We’ll see you and the babies again next week.” Avalon holds the door open and ushers the four of them back out into the waiting room.

“Well that was quick.” Cosima comments, “Lab?”

“Lab.” She agrees, as they quickly get themselves, and the babies back outside to the cool early spring day.

The lab stairs are a little less daunting than she remembers them, and watching Cosima practically bounce up them is reassuring, until she remembers that Leo is still attached to her chest.

“Gently Cosima!”

“He’s fine…” Cosima calls down at her, “come on…”

She sighs, following Cosima up the stairs, the lab looks much the same, although the couch has been replaced with a new one, and in the far corner several quilts have been laid down. A few baby toys, including a handmade gym with toys dangling from string, sits in the middle of it. Extra pillows sit on the couch, along with a blanket.

“Our family-friendly lab!” Cosima announces, “surprise… well at least until these two start crawling and become hazards.”

“You did this… for me.” Delphine smiles, taking Cosima’s face in her hands to lay a sweet kiss on her lips. “Thank you.”

“Well… we have stuff to get done, and we need to put them somewhere. There will be a playpen… at some point.” Cosima promises. “I mean, I assume we’ll wear them a lot… but it’s nice to have like a place to put them down.”

“And the stem cells?”

Cosima points, “three cultures, one from each baby - labelled C and L, maternal cells are labelled M.” The screen displays three genomes, exactly as expected.

“Are you running a genetic analysis?” Delphine leans in, taking a look at the screen.

“Yup.” Cosima nods. “And, good news, they’re definitely yours.”

“And….?” Delphine prompts.

“They’re both in range for half-sibling for me… Leo and I share about 24% of our DNA, Celeste is closer to 28%.” Cosima smiles at her.

“Are either of them a good match?” Delphine inquires hopefully, glancing for the immune compatibility results. Perhaps Celeste would be a decent match for Cosima, for if anything ever happened.

“Not quite good enough…Neither is as good as Kira.” Cosima offers gently giving her hand a squeeze. “But it’s okay, we’re doing well. Neither of them is Leekie’s. All is right with the world.”

“Did you really think…” Delphine shakes her head.

“Not really, but…I don’t trust him. Or DYAD, it’s not that I don’t trust you.” Cosima smiles at her. “They are beautiful, aren’t they?”

“They are.” Delphine agrees.

“Let’s lay them down for a nap, get some work done.” Cosima suggests.

In the end, they only get about 2.5 hours of work done, having to stop to hold and nurse her babies again, especially since they sleep best in close contact. At least neither Sarah or Siobhan turns up, perhaps the best news was no news at all.

It feels strange, Delphine muses. Allowing Cosima to take care of them, letting her take care of their little family. Do most of the cooking, the majority of the laundry, though Alison had popped by to clean a few times over the last two weeks, they were largely on their own.

“Dinner?” Cosima offers, unplugging their slow cooker and serving a largish portion of stew into a bowl.

“That much?” She knows better than to argue, she’s easily burning a ton of calories.

“You’re nursing.” Cosima responds, as if that settles the issue instantly.

She’s the one that gets to eat, and put her feet up. The one Cosima brings a large glass of water to after dinner as she throws in yet another load of laundry.

“So…” Cosima sits next to her on the sofa. “How… are you feeling?”

“Good. I should probably lie down with Celeste and Leo, at least for a little while.”

“Okay, I’ll like finish up here.” Cosima waves her hands around the kitchen. “And join you. If you’re lucky, I’ll bring you some dessert.”  
She hums and allows herself to be ushered to bed, she doesn’t bother wearing a pyjama top, it’s simply an added hassle with the night feedings. And Cosima seemed inclined to ignore most of the changes to her body, the larger breasts excluded.

Delphine settles herself down to feed her babies, as soon as one begins fussing and trying to chew at his own hand. No sense ignoring early hunger signs when they can avoid wailing for food, and disturbing the landlord.  
She’s sure she drifts off, a baby under each arm, but when she wakes the babies are moved, toes to toes in the nearby crib.

“Hey…” Cosima leans over her, putting down a book on the beside table. “You’re awake.”

“I am.” She smiles up at her wife, this much, this much still felt perfect.

“So…” Cosima raises her eyebrows with another grin, “wanna fool around?”

“Cosima!”

“What? The midwife said it was fine…” Cosima grins again, “I miss being close to you.”

Delphine sighs, looking up at their boring ceiling. She could certainly. She has the energy… but why now? Why so soon? Will she even be able to become aroused?

“I still have a belly.” Delphine winces, looking down. Stretch marks too, though of all of that Cosima is well aware. She’s made no attempts to hide the changes from her. Sitting around half naked nursing twins hasn’t been a discreet endeavour.

  
“So?” Cosima kisses her cheek again, “I don’t care. You gave birth like less than month ago, give it more time.”

“You find me attractive, like this?”

“Totally.” Cosima responds without hesitation.

They’ll have to resume at some point, should she really try to put it off another month? She knows Cosima wouldn’t complain. Delphine considered briefly, she certainly doesn’t feel sexy, but she could give to Cosima. Perhaps Leo would wake before then and demand her attention anyways.

“Get on the bed.” Delphine instructs, pushing herself back up. A quick look to the crib shows her both babies are still asleep for now. But who knows how long that will last?

She’s remarkably efficient about it all, leaning in to kiss Cosima, falling back into their old rhythms, only now she can rest her weight on her, her soft belly squishing easily against Cosima’s body.

“I missed this.” Cosima murmurs, stroking curls back from her face. Those same hands, move along her body, likely cataloguing the changes. The drift from her back, up her sides towards her breasts. Cosima’s mouth kisses along her neck slowly, and it feels good, she can’t deny that.

“No sucking.” Delphine informs Cosima sternly when she notices her love trying to shift her way down.

Cosima stops instantly. “But… why?”

“I just… not this time.” She settles finally. It’s too much. Far too much, and the last thing she wants is to leak milk all over the bed.

She lavishes attention on Cosima instead, working her way down her body, enjoying this more and more as they go along. It doesn’t take much to excite Cosima, to get her ready.

Delphine slowly makes her way down Cosima’s body, drawing out the teases, heightening the arousal. She’s missed this too. She repositions herself between Cosima’s legs, wrapping her arms around soft thighs before lowering her head. It’s been too long, she thinks, letting her tongue gently taste Cosima, teasing her, before beginning to work her with purpose. After all, who knows how much time they will have?

A few minutes of her tongue between Cosima’s legs proves enough, and her wife trembles out a silent orgasm, her mouth falling open and jaw going slack.

She grins when she raises her head, viewing Cosima spent and giggling form. She’s more aroused than expected, maybe she’d be able to finish after all.

“Shh… you’ll wake them, mon amour.” Delphine doesn’t stop smiling, even as she reaches over to kiss her wife.

She eases herself down next to Cosima, maintaining as much body contact as possible.This she had missed more than anything.

Cosima rolls onto her, her scars now concealed in shadow. “So…good…” Cosima coos, kissing her again, lips teasing lips.

 

Delphine yields control, not yet used to Cosima feeling strong again. Hands push her down as Cosima settles over her.  
“This is so much easier now…” Cosima mumbles with a laugh. “I loved the baby belly but,” Cosima sighs as she drops weight down on her.

And she knows she’s wet, but the touch of Cosima’s hand to her sex makes her jump slightly.  
“It’s fine…” She reassures her, “it doesn’t hurt.” Though the thought that recently two newborns passed through there worries her. How different will this be?

“Does this feel okay?” Cosima strokes her gently, making her bite her lip. She glances over to the crib, but everything is silent.

“Yes.”

“Hey… look at me.” Cosima’s fingers probe gently, deeply, expertly working her to climax. At least Cosima isn’t teasing, not when soon she’ll be feeding babies again.

It feels good, and she forgets for a moment, she rolls her hips into it, clinging to Cosima. Pleased that this is easy, that it doesn’t hurt. It takes time to work her up, but Cosima soothes her with kisses, never stopping the movements of her hand.

Finally she slips over the edge with a tiny cry, gripping Cosima tightly in her arms. Her delight is near instantly replaced by mortification, milk leaking down all over the bed. She’d triggered letdown. Oxytocin, she should have thought of this. Why hadn’t anyone warned her this could happen?

Her milk is still running between their bodies, dripping down onto the sheets.

“Oh non.” She closes her eyes, hoping that this goes away. That she won’t have to get up and change the bedding, again. When she opens them Cosima has moved to sit up, to get a better look.  
Cosima is grinning madly, “Wow.” Cosima giggles, glancing down at the droplets of milk on her skin. That same cheeky face ducks down, tongue taking a broad lick under her breast. She supposes it was only a matter of time before Cosima did that.

“Cosima…” Delphine whines halfheartedly, Cosima seemingly content to try to ‘clean’ her up with her tongue.

“What? You said ‘no sucking’, you didn’t say no licking.” Cosima announces when she’s popped her head back up, curiosity sated.

“Noo…” She covers her face with her hands. “We are such a mess.” It’s on Cosima too. They’ll both need a shower.

Cosima shakes her head. “Nah, it’s not like ... Delphine, I like it. I’m making love to a fertility goddess. It’s amazing.”

“Who will change the bedding?”

“I will…” Cosima offers. “Next time, towel?”

“That might be best.” Delphine agrees, a tiny whimper alerting her that this moment is over.

“I’ll grab her,” Cosima announces, standing up and reaching into the crib. “Hi Celeste… you have good timing, your mommies just finished.”

“Just give me the baby… and go get the spare blankets.” Delphine waves an exasperated hand, reaching out for Celeste. She should ask for Leo too, otherwise she’ll be feeding him right after.

“Leo too?” Cosima hands off Celeste and returns to the crib, picking up their still snoozing son.

“That would be good.” Delphine nods, “then bed… we could be up half of the night.”

“Right, that’s why it’s quickies from now on.” Cosima sighs, “no more marathon sex until these two sleep nights… you know, somewhat reliably.”

“Blankets” She reminds Cosima practically, as she accepts Leo into her arms, shuffling position until she can feed both twins.  
She watches Cosima cheerfully change their bedding, with minimal interruptions to the feeding. She’s tucked back in bed soon after, but this new rhythm of frequent waking is slowly becoming normal. She’s sure there are things she forgets now, but hopefully Cosima remembers. Unless they are both pathetically sleep deprived.

She falls asleep feeding, again, but when she wakes during the night, Cosima is there. Cuddling into her or snuggling a baby on her chest. They’re in this together, and they’re going to be okay.

**

When she wakes again, it is to the sound of intense knocking on the door. The landlord? Mrs. S? Sarah? What was wrong? Had something happened with Scott.

The shower running tells her instantly that Cosima is not available to do this for her

She blinks blearily in the early morning light, stumbling her way to the door, robe easily tossed around her body. She’s decent, at least.

 

“Hey.” Sarah stands outside of the door nervously, hands on the shoulders of a smiling Kira.

“Is… is something wrong?” Delphine clutches the robe, one of Cosima’s, shut.

“Kira… well go on and tell her.” Sarah squeezes her daughter’s shoulders.

“I want to meet my new cousins. Mom made me wait… said I had to let you settle in more.” Kira explains. “Can I see them now?”

“What do you say,” Sarah asks, adding after a brief hesitation, “Auntie Delphine?”

The smile that crosses her face is genuine, “I need to go put some clothes on.” She can think of some, pants, the loose tank and sweater she usually wears out so it’s not too hard to nurse in.

“Okay, we’re going to let her get dressed.” Sarah guides her daughter into the apartment. “It sounds like Auntie Cosima is in the shower, so we’ll wait to talk to her.”

She hears somewhat excited chatter from her sofa while she throws on clothes, needing to be decent, she looks in the crib, plucking out Leo first. He’s smaller, and would be easier for the child to hold.

“Do you know what we named the babies?” Delphine asks Kira, returning with Leo in her arms, dressed in a light blue sleeper.

“This one is…?” Kira looks at her mom.

“Ask Delphine.” Sarah shrugs, sitting, apparently relaxed on the couch.

“Léo.”

“Leo.” Kira repeats, sitting back on the couch. “Can I hold him?”

She lowers her infant into Kira’s little arms, Sarah sitting beside her.

“Support his head.” Sarah adjusts her daughter’s arms. “Yeah like that, we’ve got him.”

“I will go get his sister now, Céleste.” Delphine finds herself amused, listening to Sarah talk about Kira as a baby, seemingly enjoying this. At least, for her child.

“He’s pretty cute…” Kira tells her mother, just as she’s carrying Celeste back into the room.

“Eh… I think he looks like Delphine.” Sarah peers at the baby, “Maybe not though. It’s hard to tell with babies. I thought you looked like me when you were born. But there’s a lot of Cal in you too.”

 

She sits down next to them, cradling her sleeping little girl. “I think they’re both beautiful.” Delphine tells Kira.

“But… Leo and Celeste don’t have a dad…” Kira starts, a pensive expression starting on her face as she tries to work things out. That is one conversation between Sarah and Kira that she does not need to witness. Though, being around babies is bound to get her asking questions.

“What’s going on?” Cosima pokes her head out of the bathroom, “Sarah?”

“Kira kept pestering to meet her new cousins… so I brought her.” Sarah shrugs as if this was obvious. “How are you?”  
“Good. Tired.” Cosima nods, “totally in love.”

Cosima eases herself down on the armrest, “so you wanted to meet your cousins, huh?”

“Yup!” Kira remarks cheerfully. “Can I hold both of them?”

Cosima looks at Delphine quizzically, but of course they can’t let Kira do that.

“Not at the same time, monkey.” Sarah answers. “So… how goes the cure?”

“It’s… slow.” Delphine tells her, “we just started doing tests on Cosima again… and with the babies, it’s going to take a long time.”

“I feel great though.” Cosima offers. “Like… energy-wise, I can breathe… we’re good.”

“We are.” Sarah nods. “And I finally heard from Scott… Felix got a message out.”

Cosima looks at her intently. “What is it?”

“Uncle Felix and Scott are coming home, with Auntie Helena…” Kira announces in a sing-song voice.

“Good.” Delphine nods in relief… hopefully that means Scott had gotten them out, somehow. That things were finally going right, for all of them.

“It’s going to take them a long time to get here.” Kira frowns. “Can I hold Celeste now?”  
“I’ll tell you what?” Cosima offers, “I’ll take Leo, and Delphine will help you hold Celeste, okay?”

“Okay.” Kira agrees, letting her aunt scoop up Leo, before Delphine settling a whimpering Celeste into a little lap.

“I think things are going well.” Sarah offers, and there’s no malice. Not directed at her, anyways.

“Me too.” Delphine agree, maybe in time, she’d feel like she was truly part of this family. This wasn’t such a bad start.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally done! Yes! Cura te ipsum is complete!

This isn’t where she expected to be, Delphine sighs, standing in the lab. Alone, except for Sarah, sitting stiffly on an exam table. The play-corner still exists, in the corner of the lab, but for now it’s empty. Cosima having strapped two infants to her body for a walk.

“That isn’t necessary.” Delphine tells her sister-in-law, “a blood sample will suffice.” She’d already taken a cheek swab, and intends to get it ready to culture immediately. She preps Sarah, tying a band around her arm, before prodding to find a vein. So strange that they’ve finally ended up here.

“I know… I just… I thought you’d want to examine me, yeah.”

“No need. We’ll check your blood for now.”

It had taken months, months of intensive parenting. Months of Cosima’s tests coming back, improved but not ideal. Months of watching Kira, Gemma and Oscar bond with their cousins, accepting Delphine. But Sarah had volunteered.

“This will help Cosima?” Sarah implores again. Sounding concerned, a tone she’s not used to hearing used around her.

“Yes. This will absolutely help Cosima. We can perfect our gene therapy this way… Alison has already given me a sample. So I will be comparing the three of you, on a molecular level.”

“Great… just… as long as it works.” Sarah barely winces at the needle, tolerating it well.

“And done.”

“If we… ever needed stem cells…would you consider donating? Or… having Kira donate?” Delphine begins cautiously. Kira is a source, Sarah could be too… but harvesting that, that would be extremely invasive. It is nothing she will do unless things become desperate again.

“You want Kira’s stem cells… How? And why now? Cos is doing well. She’s … she’s living and dancing, and...parenting.” Sarah stumbles over the last few words. But they are true. Things are going well. But she needs a contingency plan. They always do.

“Well.. bone marrow… and not now. Cosima is stable. I can keep her stable, but if something ever happens…” Delphine tries to convey her deep concern. Every day she watches Cosima, seeming well enough, and every week she cajoles her irritated wife into more blood samples and urine tests, part of the process of perfecting their gene therapy.

She wouldn’t ask Sarah to do anything, unless it was necessary. Of course, Sarah has the ability to make compatible embryos - easily. But that, that Delphine knew she would never ask for.

Sarah shakes her head, a glint in her eyes reminiscent of the distrust she likely still held. “Me… yeah… But Kira? Would you use your own kids? Harvest them for Cosima?”

“Neither of my children is a good match with Cosima.” Delphine informs Sarah as calmly as she can manage. “Perhaps, if we’d harvested their cord blood, as that doesn’t require as exact a match, but we didn’t.” She could have altered them to match, Delphine knows that much, but she hadn’t. Maybe that was a mistake.

“Why?” Sarah’s face shifts, showing her confusion.

“Cosima didn’t want to… she agreed with the midwives that it was better that the babies had full possible blood volume.”

“But, wouldn’t they have to be like a relative?” Sarah wonders aloud. “That’s what Cos was saying. Relatives are better. That’s why me. Why Kira. We’re blood.”

This was it, her opportunity. “They are blood.” Delphine offers.

“Yeah. Yours.” Sarah rolls her eyes, hopping down from the table.

“And yours too… DYAD has a gene bank, they keep samples from clone batches. Did you know you were cloned from a single embryo?”

“Uh no… I didn’t.” Sarah responds, pulling her jacket back on.

“DYAD kept samples, of you… of your genetic parents.” Delphine informs her gently, “when I needed embryonic tissue for Cosima’s lungs-”

“Wait… your kids aren’t clones… But… they’re yours.” Sarah seems confused, perhaps digging into the science without Cosima hear to ease the news is just too much.

 

“They are also your relatives.” Delphine informs her, “so was the embryo we destroyed to make Cosima’s lungs.”

 

“Shite.” Sarah shakes her head, “is that why I catch Cos staring at their faces so much? Why she’s asked for Kira’s baby pictures?”

“Maybe.” She knows little of her wife’s preoccupation with searching their children’s faces. Other than that is is out of love. They’ve grown from tiny newborns, to chubby, smiley five-month olds - and she knows Cosima is entirely enamoured.

“Fine… I’ll make sure you get what you need.” Sarah offers.

“Any news on Helena?” Delphine asks cautiously, she may be part of the family, but she feels like she is still left out of the loop. She wonders if she’ll ever truly prove herself their ally. If anything could make up for her past, to Sarah, to Mrs. S. Cosima, of course, accepts her as she is.

“No… Nothing since they attempted extraction.” Sarah shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. She’s lost too much with this one, and it shows when her voice cracks slightly.

Delphine speaks softly, “I’m sorry.” There’s not way to say how it went, radio silence could be a sign of success - of a quiet and convoluted route planned to join them. Or it could speak to the worse. She suspects Felix is one of the few adults Sarah truly loves, her family where the tough clone’s heart truly lies.

“Hey. All done?” Cosima calls cheerfully as she enters the lab. A child in a carrier on each side of her body. The squawking sound from the front carrier indicating that nap time is over.

“I’m out…” Sarah scoots out past Cosima, “I’m done with the whole feedings and crying babies thing.”

“Bye Sarah.” Cosima says distractedly, as her hands work to free Celeste from the carrier before holding her out to Delphine expectantly.

“Yes?” Delphine asks, unable to stop her eyes from showing her amusement. This brought her so much joy. Cosima parenting. Cosima taking joy and pride in their babies. Even when, she doesn’t do it the way Delphine would.

“She just needs a boob.” Cosima holds out their fussing child at arms length, little legs kicking as Celeste’s eyes crunch up. Whether she’s tearing up from the way she’s being held, simply cranky or getting hungry she cannot tell. Either way, Cosima isn’t wrong about the simplest solution.

“Cosima…” Delphine shakes her head, but takes the child regardless, “Viens ici ma puce…” She adjusts her clothing to permit the baby to latch, sure enough she calms within minutes, happily gulping milk. She eases herself down on the couch, making it more comfortable than feeding standing up.

“See? It works.” Cosima smirks at her. “Fixes…. like almost everything.”

“And the best part is you don’t have to do anything.” Delphine sighs quietly. She doesn’t mind truly, she knows Cosima will nap with Léo and Céleste, that she paces with them, dances with them… washes almost all of the laundry as her contribution to infant care.

“It just makes her so happy.” Cosima smiles, observing little starfish hands gripping at skin, reaching for Delphine’s hair, for anything. “So cute…” Cosima insists, before shifting her weight to unfasten the other carrier, to slide Leo around her hip. “I guess they don’t really have much to complain about.”

Maybe this was Cosima, this disposition her children seemed to have. Cheerful. Engaged. Though they had their moments of unrelenting fussing as well. Leo still preferred to sleep cuddling a mom versus on his own, and she didn’t mind. Not when Cosima would bring their babies to bed. Not when they’d lay in bed, just looking at each other late at night.  
Leo, for his part is shaking off sleep, but becomes excited when he sees her sitting, nursing Celeste.

“Give him the boob.” Cosima suggests, before his little lip has even begin to quiver.

She rolls her eyes, but lets Cosima plop Leo on her lap next to his sister, even lets Cosima do the wardrobe adjustment required. She’d altered some of her clothes for this, it had seemed only practical at the time.

“Hey, I’d help you if I could but…” Cosima gestures along her own body, “mine are totally useless… Pretty fun though…. You know, from what I can remember.” She pokes out her tongue, fulling willing to use this as an opportunity for flirting. At this point, they’ll both take what they can get.

“We had sex…” Delphine furrows her brow thinking, “two weeks ago?” She still enjoys it, can still get into it, but she lacks the sex drive she’d had before. She knows it will return, in the meantime she caters to Cosima’s whims, when she finds the energy.

“Yeah… two weeks!” Cosima pouts at her with a forlorn expression. The older their babies got, the less happy Cosima was to go without, that much she noticed. She makes a mental note to rectify that, perhaps early tomorrow morning after the babies’ first feed.

“Alright.” Delphine responds.

“Alright...lab sex?” Cosima offers, an eyebrow raised.

Delphine laughs, “Cosima!”

“No I am serious, nurse them to sleep, we’ll plop them over on the blankets for a few hours until they want to eat again, or wake or whatever, and I’ll have my way with you on the couch.” Cosima tries to be sexy, beginning to unbutton her dress but she cannot stop herself from laughing, to the point it even disturbs her babies, pausing in their suckling for a moment.

“How about you handle Sarah’s blood sample?” Delphine suggests, looking pointedly over at the table.

“Right… cultures and blood samples… I’m on it.” Cosima sighs, “and when it’s done?”

“We’ll see how sleepy these babies are.” Delphine smiles back, noticing that Cosima has left her shirt open. She wouldn’t feel comfortable being that exposed, not here in the lab, not anymore.

The babies are finished before the cultures are prepped, or the tests are done, glancing over she sees Cosima dance, between putting vials of blood into instruments, and sliding the culture into the fridge.

She eases both children down onto the blankets, admiring their chubby cheeks, their rolls, the curls on both of their heads. Both the picture of health, both exceptionally cute when peacefully snoozing. She tests them, gently lifting their hands and letting them fall, ensuring both are completely asleep before turning to Cosima.

“Oooh total milk coma? Yes!” Cosima peers over, loosening another button. “Take of your shirt… come on.”

She sighs, deciding instead to just drop her pants to the ground. “I don’t want to be naked here.”

Cosima purrs at her. “It’s just us…”

“It’s still light out.”She runs a self-conscious hand down her belly, it’s reduced greatly, she no longer looks pregnant. But it’s not the same.

“You can’t tell anymore.” Cosima insists, kissing her cheek, her bottom lip, lavishing attention on it. “I can’t tell you were ever pregnant.”

“When I am dressed.” Delphine surmises.

“And who sees you undressed? Me. Leo. Celeste. Occasionally medical practitioners.” Cosima shakes her head. “You’re still gorgeous as ever.”

“With the stretch marks and the lactation?” Delphine looks at her partner quizzically, she’s still half-certain Cosima says she likes it merely out of love, not desire. But the milk fantasy she keeps preventing Cosima from enjoying, that might be genuine. She’d thought after the curiosity was sated, that her love would lose interest in her lactating breasts, be more keen to leave them alone, but that hadn’t happened. Cosima would simply quip ‘fertility goddess’ and go on enjoying.

“Mmmm.” Cosima hums happily, pulling her into another kiss, and then another. Touching until she forgets to be embarrassed, letting Cosima have her way. She’s used to Cosima going first, to pleasing first, but she’s pulled down to straddle her wife’s lap on the couch.

“You first?” Delphine offers, moving to change position. That would be easier certainly.

“Nah. Like this.” Hands grip her hips, and she starts to grind down, finding Cosima’s neck, Cosima’s earlobes with her mouth and tongue, a few good sucks later she finds a bruise blooming under her mouth.

“God yes…” Cosima groans, leaning back, encouraging her, even as she slides a hand between her thighs, teasing her gently in time with her own sucks to Cosima’s throat.

Two gently fingers slip into her, and she raises her hips, rocking and moving to ride Cosima’s fingers, not letting up on her own gentle torture.

“Cosima… we don’t have a towel….” Delphine whispers, though things are less messy now than a couple months ago, she will still leak.

“It’s fine, relax.” Cosima continues working her, her free hand holding her waist. She knows, Cosima is into this, that they both are.

“I love you…” Cosima croons into her mouth when she finally rejoins her lips to Cosima’s, hips canting in time.

She slips over the edge, delightedly with a little cry, and Cosima groans in response, just as quickly, a hand presses firmly against one of her breasts preventing letdown. Cosima drops her mouth to the other to do the one thing she’s asked her not to do. A warm mouth sucks firmly at her, it’s not enough to trigger letdown again - only her babies’ cries and suckling seem to do that, and orgasm. But it is enough to be annoying.

Delphine wants to complain, wants to roll her eyes, but when Cosima rejoins her, she’s beaming like mad at her solution. She’ll let this go, for now. She sags happily onto her love, listening to the sounds of Cosima’s steady breathing, burying her face in Cosima’s lovebitten neck.

“It’s not as much as it was.” Cosima comments, as if talking about the weather, or the bounciness of the couch springs. Those ever-moving hands stroking at her back.

“Good.” Leaking less, sounds like a wonderful change of pace.

“Eh, I think our babies are getting plenty of milk though… seriously those rolls? So annoying to clean.” Cosima chortles slightly. “Ooh… maybe it is bath night again.” She enjoys watching that, Cosima in the tub with their babies. She’s taken too many images of it, wanting to preserve those moments forever.

“Are you happy, with me?” Delphine asks, even though she knows the answer.

“Yes…” Cosima responds, and even as she shifts, moving to push her lover back into the cushions, to slide her own hand between her legs, she knows it’s true.

She takes Cosima, sweet and slow… the slowest sex they’ve had since becoming mothers. But she wasn’t want it to end, not Cosima’s hands on her back and ass, not the noises, not the tenderness of this moment, just the two of them.

A tremble from beneath her signals the end, Cosima’s jaw slackening, as her mouth opens emitting a long low cry. And it’s wonderful.

“If you woke them…” Delphine threatens quietly, her hand on Cosima’s jaw, but she merely kisses Cosima for her punishment.

“I know… I’ll be pacing the floor with them.” Cosima shrugs. “Worth it.” She comments, even as she hears a squawk, it fades, the child apparently falling back asleep.

“I wish… I wish we were married.” Delphine sighs, not really knowing why she said it. Persephone had its faults, certainly, but it was home now. It was where she made her life with Cosima. Where she’d saved her. Where her children were born.

“We are married.” Cosima reminds her, “and we have the pictures to prove it.” A few snapshots taken, the two of them at their wedding.

“I mean… I wish it were legal here.” Delphine corrects herself. She thinks of Leda 4, of Ai, of all the places where her love for Cosima would have legal recognition, where her children would legally have two mothers.

“Is this about the birth certificates again?” Cosima cuddles in, kissing her happily on the cheek.

They’d come a few days ago, the long delayed formal documents for their babies. Mother; Delphine Cormier. Father: Unknown.

“I… It upsets me.” Delphine admits. It shouldn’t, Cosima had warned her. Even Kendra had warned her when she’d suggested applying for the documentation with Cosima listed as the father. It hadn’t been permitted, at least she’d been allowed to hyphenate their surnames. Niehaus-Cormier, there was no law prohibiting her giving her children any surname she desired.

“I’m fine with it, I don’t need a piece of paper telling me you’re my wife, or that Leo and Celeste are my kids… I know they’re mine. And so does Sarah. And Siobhan. Kira. Alison…” Cosima trails off naming her family. “And those midwives know now, like it or not.”

She gives a half-hearted laugh. “Je t’aime.” She bumps her nose to Cosima’s pressing their foreheads together quickly.

“Come on, Delphine… we should get home.” Cosima wiggles out of her arms, knowing that they need to resume their work.

"Sounds good."

Cosima begins packing the bag, “I… I think I’ll change their diapers again… then we’ll go.”

 

**

 

They trek down the stairs, a baby attached to each of them, beginning the walk back to their apartment. There was no need to bother with vehicles, the early fall weather was mild, though she regretted that this continent was so cool. Afternoons, at least, were still warm.

“What is that?” Delphine turns at the sound, when they’ve nearly reached town.

“It’s a shuttle landing.” Cosima looks up, “I think there’s something wrong with it though. It’s too late in the day for market drops.”

“We should go help.” Delphine gestures towards the clearing.

“With these two?” Cosima points at their chests, “ok, point taken.” Cosima hangs back slightly, a hand protectively over Celeste.

The shuttle seems odd, but nothing prepares her for when the aft compartment swings open, the hiss of the airlock disengaging. It’s old, outdated… and probably stolen, Delphine assesses it quietly. Exactly the kind of people that may need their help, or perhaps… it will be familiar faces after all.

“Felix!” Cosima shouts gleefully, waking Celeste as she runs to embrace him, stopping short when she remembers the baby attached to her body.

“God it was hell.” Felix shudders as he steps lightly off the shuttle onto the ground. “Dirt… Yes, definitely missed dirt.”

“Oh god… gonna puke.” Scott steps out behind him, retching on the ground,

“You’re alive!” Delphine tries not to let her surprise show, or interrupt this reunion.

“Yeah… this is the place.” An unfamiliar man with dark skin steps off the craft, “Art Bell.”

“Sarah’s… mentioned you before.” Cosima nods. “And?”

Delphine stands back, watching, wondering what will come of all this. And why the stranger? How big was this resistance force? How far did it go?

“Sestra.” A voice, at once familiar and new calls from inside the craft.

“We got her… barely. But we got her.” Felix offers lamely to Cosima.

“Helena.” Delphine says the name without thinking.

“Yeah. That’s her…” Cosima nods, watching her clone sister emerge.

“We’ve got to tell S, and Sarah…” Cosima nods in excitement. “Hello Helena.”

A clone with poorly dyed hair steps out into the fading sunlight, she blinks, one arm protectively around herself. “Cosima. … and…You have babies?” Helena’s voice is delighted, excited.

She doesn’t ask about Helena’s accent, or if she is truly Sarah Manning’s maternal twin - it doesn’t seem important right now, but the tender way Helena goes to embrace Cosima comforts her. This clone is not as frightening as she first appears.

“Yes,” Cosima answers with a smile, “I have babies now, Celeste and Leo, and this is my wife, Delphine.”

Helena eyes her cautiously, “she is DYAD. This doctor woman.”

“Was DYAD.” Cosima concedes, “before we fell in love and she busted me out of there… and we got you out too… thanks to Delpine.”

“And Scott.” Delphine adds, feeling that the young man deserves more credit than that.

“Babies… great. More babies.” Felix shakes his head, “the last few months have been hell by the way. This is the last time I play relay for a DYAD job. The last time.”

“Good to see you too, Felix.” Cosima pats his arm, moving over to Scott.

“Delphine had twins?” Scott manges, taking them both in. “Cool. I guess you’re both really busy. Good to see you up and around Cosima.”

“Are there any injuries?” Delphine asks, looking over the four travellers.

“Nothing major.” Art answers, “a few bumps and cuts from the rough landing. I’m afraid I am not much of a pilot.”

“Come back to ours,” Delphine offers, “I have a medkit there, and Cosima can contact the others.”

It’s not the evening she imagined, treating scrapes and cuts, while Cosima cooks more dinner, dolling out curry to all their guests, making sure everyone gets something to eat. Helena eats enough for three people, and she wonders exactly what they’ve done to this woman.

Art looks at her curiously, as if he’s not sure what to believe. She suspects he’s a resistance spy, from somewhere much more central, but what he knows she cannot be certain.

“S says she’s coming out, tonight.” Cosima informs them. “So much for a quiet night and bathtime.” She adds quietly to Delphine.

“Bathtime?” Felix repeats much louder, scandalized. “Leave your sapphic fantasies until we leave, please.”

“Bathtime for the babies.” Cosima retorts. “Though now that you mention it….”

“Stop.” Felix shudders.

Her head is spinning again, even as they bundle up again, both sleeping infants now bound to her body and she accompanies the group, at once joyous and anxious back to the warehouse. To whatever awaits them there. She supposes she can go nap with the children in the lab if required, though she wants to know as much as possible.

She’s bundled up sufficiently, her children plenty warm, but she wonders if she should turn back, but Cosima’s holding her hand, and she’s getting snippets, glimpses of what is actually going on. And she wants to know. Needs to know. This is their future now, all of them, and she won’t let herself be blind anymore. Surely Cosima will inform her, surely they have reached that point that her own wife will not leave her out, even if she can’t attend herself.

They seem to arrive after the crowd, Helena is escorted in by Felix, followed by Scott and Art, all seeming ragged and tired. Was she that tired when she arrived? Were she and Cosima in that poor shape?

Cosima reluctantly releases her hand, and steps towards Sarah, who pokes her head out.

Sarah beckons quickly, “Cos, come on… let’s get this done.”

“Alright.” Cosma nods, giving one last look back at Delphine. “It won’t be long, I promise.”

She’s not sure whether or not to believe her, but she sets her jaw and nods just the same.

“Is that a hickie?” Sarah looks over Cosima, who simply responds with a shit-faced grin. “Ugh… Jesus Christ, Cos… come on...we have a meeting.” The bottom floor of the warehouse, was apparently the place to be tonight. Delphine notes. She wonders if she should wait for Cosima, or simply take the babies home, go to bed and wait for Cosima to join her there. It’s not a long walk, and with both children bound to her body, it shouldn’t be that difficult.

The door shuts, and she looks around at the metal siding, wondering whether going up to the lab to wait is worth it. When the door unexpectedly opens again.

“Delphine,” Mrs. S pokes her head out, and motions in with her hand. “Come on in, love.”

“You want me in the meeting?” Delphine is surprised at first, swaying on her feet, providing motion for her sleepy, attached infants.

“Yes, just bring the babies, it’s not like they’re going to tell anyone.” Siobhan waves her hand again impatiently, “quickly…”

She enters the room, Felix, Art, Sarah, Alison, Mrs. S, Cal, Scott, two men she cannot identify, and Helena. And tucked just out of the way, was Cosima. Sitting comfortably on a blue loveseat. She doesn’t see Donnie, Alison’s husband, but someone must be watching Kira, Gemma and Oscar back at the farm, that makes sense. Delphine decides looking around again. Is this it? Is this what she’s been waiting to be let in on?

“Come here…” Cosima pats the small loveseat in the room, helping to unburden her, motioning to hold an infant, at least the one on her back, for the time being.

Her left hand clings to Cosima’s right, her free arm stroking her son’s back even as Felix begins to speak.

“We’re not safe here.” Felix says plainly. “I am not sure how much longer we can maintain Persephone as base of operations.”

“So we’ll go deeper.” Sarah throws out. “Further out from the core.”

“Is that even practical?” Alison shakes her head, “the amenities this far out, are appalling. We’re already homeschooling. And what about decent doctors? What about any of it?”

“Or we split people up.” Cal suggests. “We break the base down.”

“No… we’re not breaking up the family.” Sarah puts her foot down, standing up and pacing. “We just got Helena back. We just got Fe, and Scott back… if we split up, then what? We’re stronger together.”

“We’re also easier to find.” Siobhan lays a calming hand on her daughter’s arm. “Either way, we’re not making any decisions tonight.”

Helena for her part, eats off the providing plate of snacks. Saying very little she can make out. It is definitely the same clone who bit her, last year.

“There is an alternative.” Delphine finds herself speaking, unplanned.

“What is it?”

“We fight. We… relocate, in small groups to one of the colonies in the Avis sector, they aren’t as far from the core - but they are relatively…. Boring. And we use that to gather our forces.”

“Forces?” Cosima laughs quietly beside her.

“It’s an option.” Siobhan concedes. “But, we’re all in a lot of danger.”

“Why?”

“Because… they know we’re out here. Not the colony.” Art explains, “but the direction, even getting one or two ships out in the next week, would be advisable.”

“My family should go first, we have children.” Alison says plainly, “Sarah too…. And Cosima and Delphine,” she concedes finally. “We relocate the families.”

“How? There’s not even a spaceport here.” Delphine speaks again. “How many people do we have here?”

“Nearly 100, in the sector.” Siobhan responds. “Some are radio catchers, others live here, some just farm. Not… not all completely trustworthy.”

“We’ll work it out.” Cosima offers. “I mean, my kids are so young… could you imagine getting on a cargo ship with these guys?”

There are no decisions made, but maps are shown, colonies are suggested and vetoed, they cut the meeting after an hour, finally releasing them all to get some sleep. Some stay in the warehouse, a few bunks available for desperate time, or unexpected guests, Cosima explains to her on the walk home.

They don’t bother doing much, Scott follows them home to sleep on the couch, preferring the sounds of babies crying to having to hang out with Felix for another night after being cramped on that shuttle.

They dress for bed silently, Delphine tucks herself in bed, only to be handed Celeste, before Cosima lays Leo down between them, and crawls into bed herself.

“I’m not sure what to think anymore, mon amour.” Delphine speaks quietly into the night. It’s late, and she’ll be up feeding her children within the hour anyway, but she cuddles her daughter close, throwing her other arm wide to encompass Cosima and their son her in arms as well.

“Me neither… I thought… I thought Persephone was safe.” Cosima apologizes. “It was the best option…”

“And it was, we treated you here, did your transplant… so much.” Delphine assures her.

Sleep cannot take them fast enough, she’s sure Cosima’s mind is racing alongside her own. Is there any safe place for them now?

“Delphine?” Cosima asks quietly.

“What?” She responds sleepily, almost drifting off, but not quite.

“I need you to cut my dreads off.” Cosima’s voice is steady, but the words are unexpected.

“What? Why?”

“If we’re travelling, it’s too distinctive… and there’s no way to undo them - so we have to chop them off.” Cosima tells her matter-of-factly.

“OK, I’ll cut your dreads off.” Delphine promises, “in the morning.”

Surely, it can all wait, at least that long, before everything changes again.

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank twig-height for beta-ing this story.  
> And readers should thank cophinaphile for convincing me that there was enough story left in this universe.


End file.
